Ever been around a person
who got heart broken by a loved one? Such people are at such times vulnerable
and need lots of care, support and good counsels. This is because of the
various effects of the heart break on such individuals. There have been cases
where some people threatened to take their lives because they thought they
might not cope with the emotional pain and trauma they were facing at such
times. Others have indulged in dubious means and acts all in a bid to give a
payback to whosoever that broke their hearts. In all, heart break is very
dangerous. However, the good news is that, all is not lost. There is hope for
anybody experiencing heart break. Below are the things that can be done.
Broken hearts go to God: God
is our maker. He knows and understands us and this is the reason we have to go
to him for healing when we are hurt or heartbroken. The truth is that it is
impossible to heal without God; it is impossible to forgive our ex without God.
So, when heartbroken, if there is anywhere we need to go to seek comfort and
healing, do not forget that it is going to God our maker.
Broken hearts venture on
self development: When healed of the previous heartbreak, it is advisable that
the person spend a little time to develop him or herself. Do not rush into
another relationship rather, spend time to build yourself. Below are ways you
can do this.
Accept the reality that the
relationship is broken: This is one of the mistakes that ladies in particular
make. When a relationship is over, even if it is that you two are still
communicating, you still get to know that things are no longer the same. It
might be through the signs, the man no longer calls you or takes delight in you
as usual; easily picks quarrels with you and all that. The best thing to do is
to accept that the relationship is gone and move on with your life. Some ladies
do not do this. Even when the guy gets to be maltreating them, they remain in
that relationship, taking all the mess with the hope that thing would get
better. Please stop hoping and accept the hurting reality that the relationship
is over.
Let it go: When you know that it is over, do not stay there brooding. It is true that you are hurt, it is as though the world has come to a standstill, but thank goodness it has not. Gather up yourself together and move on. The easiest way to do this is by letting it go. Forgive the person, this might take time but it is okay, you are a human and your heart is not a stone. You have been hurt and need time to heal; give yourself that time but please let it go. There are some who do not let it go, they build worlds of fantasies about the person, some even stalk their ex either through the social networks like facebook and all that. This will only hurt you more. Let it go. (You can listen to the message Let It Go by T. D Jakes).
Build up yourself by
getting some standards: By the time you let go of the former relationship, the
hurts and the pains, the next stage is to go into the aspect of re-evaluating
and developing yourself. You may want to find out if you are part of the reason
the other relationship failed. Finding this out will help you make amends where
necessary. However, it is not in all cases that the woman contributes to the
breaking of the relationship. Sometimes, men are just men, they see these
things as games. However, it is wise to use this period to also develop
yourself the more.
Get some standards. Though
some ladies kick against this, experts have proven that men love and respect
standards. Why do you think some of them married bitches or dumped you for
someone you are better off than? That is because that other person gave them
standards. In most cases, women cheapen themselves in a bid to get a man
without knowing that it is an easy way of letting a man go. Get some standards,
live up to it and see if there will not be a difference. (You may read up the
book, Act like a lady, think like a man by Steve Harvey)
Broken hearts get into
their next relationship with care: It is amazing that often times, ladies just
enter into a relationship without knowing what they want. A man just comes
around to profess love and the next thing, the ladies follow them without
questions to find out where the relationship is leading to. If you want to
avoid heart break, make efforts right from the onset to find out if the guy has
what you want. One definite way of doing this is by asking questions.
Some ladies fear that
asking questions, applying standards in the relationship may chase the man away
but the truth rather, is that it won’t. Ask questions like, can we define this
relationship? Are we dating or are we courting? Even if it is courting, is it
short or long term? As a matter of fact, if by the time you finished
asking your questions and he stays, then he is for you; but if he walks away,
he is not for you and you have saved yourself from impending heartbreak.
There is this story about a
lady that had been in a relationship with a particular young man for about
seven years. The relationship was one in every sense apart from the fact that
they did not engaged in sex. The man would take her out, come to her house to
relax and spend so much time. But years were passing while this lady kept
refusing other suitors without this love of her life saying anything. One day, after
hearing a talk like this one you are reading, she summoned the courage to ask
the man that she would love that they define the relationship.
Whether they were courting
or dating. When the lady asked him, he looked at her with a sweet smile and
said to her, “Far from that. You are a sweet lady and I love you but marriage
is far from that. I am just okay staying around you and that is the reason I
took you as a sister.” According to the lady, she felt as though the ground
should open and swallow her up. Seven years of time wastage? The truth is, this
lady would have known her stand if she had asked that same question seven years
earlier.
Source: Nigerianewupdated
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