GOD LOVES YOU

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

A number of years ago, Karl Barth, the famous German theologian, was lecturing at a major Northeaster Seminary.

At a Q&A session, a man asked Mr. Barth what's the most profound thought that ever entered his mind.

The man clearly expected to hear some philosophical comment from Mr. Barth. But the theologian looked at the man and simply said, "The most profound thought that has ever occurred to me is this: Jesus loves me; this I know, for the Bible tells me so."

You and I need to realize how remarkable the message of God's love truly is. It is simply profound and profoundly simple! And no other verse of Scripture summarizes his love for us as completely as John 3:16: "For God so loved the world...."

It is an undeniable fact. God loves you! The expression of His love is evident from the first page to the last of Scripture. But the greatest evidence of His love is Christmas.

God sent His only Son to die so that you will live. There is no greater love than that.

Enter the New Year with this confidence and assurance that God loves you unconditionally, and He wants to do great things with your life and for your life.

Prayer: Father, I enter the New Year with hope and expectations because I know You love me and You have prepared in advance great things for me.

Scriptural Reading: John 3:16-21.

We thank God for all He has done for year 2014, we say you are worthy Baba God.

FASHION: UNIQUE and CLASSY ASO EBI STYLES

When it comes to gorgeous wearing traditional attires, some people know the nitty gritty of how well to go about it, how to combine the colors, gorgeous accessories that will complement the amazing attire and especially how to tie the 'Gele'. Enjoy and have fun happy last week of the year ....

See some amazing photos below ----

Prayer for the last week in the year 2014

In the mighty name of Jesus, I decree and declare that no affliction will strike you twice. You are covered by the Blood. You will end the year with a testimony. 
 it shall be well with your soul and you are healed emotionally/spiritually in Jesus Name. The Lord will break you away from every relationship that doesn't bring glory and profit to you and God. 

The prayers of the righteous over you shall not fail in Jesus Name. Remember the Glory that God has put inside You and Destined for You is Greater than any challenge that comes your way, any challenges you are facing will to testimony in Jesus name.

Happy new week and last week in the year 2014 , From ASB-World we Love and Appreciate yah all.

Oh, how precious is the Gift

The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, "Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!" John 1:29

When you are planning to give a gift to someone, you usually think about it ahead of time. What would this person really want? Then, of course, you start searching for it and saving for it.

It is not something you do at the last minute. If you haven't planned ahead to get a gift for your family yet, you are a poor giver.

Maybe you are planning on finding a shopping mall that is open until the last minute. Maybe you have been working really hard and you haven't had time.

But I think if you really love someone, then you will take the time to select a gift for them in advance.

This gift God gave to us was not an after- thought. Long before there was a stable in Bethlehem, long before there was a garden called Eden, long before there was a planet called Earth, a decision was made in the counsels of eternity.

God decided to send His Son to save us from our sins. God knew that Adam would fall.

God knew he would cross the line and eat the forbidden fruit and sin, and God knew that as a result, we all become sinners. That is why the Bible says that Christ was slain from the foundation of the world (see Revelation 13:8).

The all-knowing, ever-present God made the decision long before our actual sin that Jesus would come to this earth, be born, and would live, die, and rise again from the dead to save us from our sins. Oh, how precious is the Gift of Christmas.

Prayer: I bless Your holy name for You, Father, are thoughtful and so loving.

Scriptural Reading: John 1: 29-34

Marvelous Love!

On a cold Christmas Eve in 1952, when Korea was in the throes of civil war, one young woman struggled along a village street, obviously soon to deliver a child. She pleaded with passersby,

"Help me! Please. My baby."

No one paid any attention to her.

A middle-aged couple walked by. The wife pushed away the young mother and sneered,

"Where's the father?

The couple laughed and went on.

The young woman almost doubled up from a contraction as she watched them go.

"Please . . ." she begged.

She had heard of a missionary living nearby who might help her. Hurriedly, she began walking to that village. If only he would help her baby.

Shivering and in pain, she struggled over the frozen countryside. But the night was so cold.

Snow began to fall. Realizing that the time was near to deliver her baby, she took shelter under a bridge. There, alone, her baby was born on Christmas Eve.

Worried about her newborn son, she took off her own clothes, wrapped them around the baby and held him close in the warm circle of her arms.

The next day, the missionary braved the new snow to deliver Christmas packages. As he walked along, he heard the cry of a baby. He followed the sound to a bridge.

Under it, he found a young mother frozen to death, still clutching her crying new born son. The missionary tenderly lifted the baby out of her arms.

When the baby was 10 years old, his now adoptive father told him the story of his mother's death on Christmas Eve.

The young boy cried, realizing the sacrifice his mother had made for him.

The next morning, the missionary rose early to find the boy's bed empty. Seeing a fresh set of small footprints in the snow outside, he bundled up warmly in a winter coat and followed the trail. It led back to the bridge where the young mother had died.

As the missionary approached the bridge, he stopped, stunned.

Kneeling in the snow was his son, naked and shivering uncontrollably. His clothes lay beside him in a small pile. Moving closer, he heard the boy say through chattering teeth:

"Mother, were you in this cold for me?"

Reflection:

This story reminds us of another mother and Son who sacrificed so much.

One winter night, Jesus left his home, His glory and the warmth of heaven to be born in a stable to an unwelcome world.

Just before He was born, Mary, His mother, was not welcome in any of the cozy inns in Bethlehem.

Instead, she delivered her baby in the darkness of a cold stable. The Creator of the Universe, the Perfect Judge who could destroy the world with a single word, was willing to endure this inauspicious beginning for you and me. That is unconditional love!

We who have experienced God's unconditional love are commanded to share that love with others. John writes in 1 John 4:11,

"Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other" (New Living Translation).

God wants us to express His supernatural love to others. We become examples of God's love to the world as we love our neighbours through the enabling of His Holy Spirit.

My prayer for you is the same as Paul's prayer for the believers in Ephesians 3:17,18:

"May your roots go down deep in to the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love really is" (NLT ) .

You may confess, "I don't have that kind of love to share with anyone."

To experience God's supernatural love, claim it by faith. We have the potential to love anyone God puts in our path.

Nothing breaks the hardened ground of unforgiveness and bitterness like sincere acts and words of love. Sometimes you and I, by faith, must take the first step of restoration.

A positive response may not be immediate, but keep on loving and reaching out. There is no power on earth stronger than God's supernatural love.

Merry Christmas!!!

Some ways you are being unfaithful to your spouse and you don't even know it

Having an affair is not even on your radar. Never gonna happen. You love your spouse and you'd never be unfaithful to her or him. However, you may be unaware of other ways you are being unfaithful. If these actions continue, you may find yourself on the slippery slope that leads to that never-intended affair and a sorrow you never wanted in your life.

Unfaithfulness usually creeps in through the back door, disguising itself as harmless fun or innocent behavior. If you want your marriage to endure and be filled with happiness you may need to check this list to see if you have fallen prey to any of these unfaithful behaviors.

1. Flirting

Having a little playful fun at the office with a co-worker can't be too bad, you may rationalize. After all, flirting is fun. Avoid it like the plague. It's dangerous. If someone flirts with you, ignore it. What falls into the category of flirting? Here's one explanation of what flirting is. "[It] usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that suggests a mildly greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would justify, though within the rules of social etiquette, which generally disapproves of a direct expression of sexual interest. This may be accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony... Body language can include flicking the hair, eye contact, brief touching, etc."

Married people should never engage in this type of behavior with anyone other than their spouse. It is a full-on form of unfaithfulness that leads to no good. The one you're flirting with may take it as an invitation and pursue a relationship you never intended.

2. Confiding in the opposite gender

When you pour out your troubles to someone of the opposite gender you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. It may seem harmless. After all, you just needed a shoulder to cry on. If you've got a problem, talk about it with your spouse. That's your best-ever shoulder to cry on. If that's not working for you, try a trusted relative, clergyman, or therapist. Not someone who may consider this an invitation for intimacy. Even if it doesn't start that way, too often it ends that way. It's a form of unfaithfulness.

3. Spending time alone with someone else

What appears to be an innocent lunch out with someone of the opposite sex or stopping by for a chat at that someone's home without your spouse is definitely in the category of unfaithful behavior. You or the other person may say, "Hey, we're both adults. Nothing's going to happen." Well, things do happen. It's not appropriate. Go home and spend that time with your spouse.

4. Talking negatively about your mate

When you are a true friend to someone you never say bad things about them to others. Your mate is your best friend and is the last person you should ever talk about negatively. If you have a beef with your honey, talk it out with him or her. Let your conversations with others focus on the good things about your spouse. That's being faithful. The exception here is abuse. If abuse is happening it needs to be reported to a trusted friend, counselor, and the police. You must keep yourself safe.

5. Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite sex

If you think this is harmless, think again. It may start out that way, but it definitely won't end that way. Some have engaged in what they considered innocent talk with a former boyfriend or girlfriend from high school or college days, or even a stranger. One thing can lead to another and before you know it, your marriage is in jeopardy. Don't do it. It will only end in sorrow and heartbreak for your family.

6. Dressing to attract the attention of someone other than your spouse

If you're dressing up to look good for someone else, you need to reexamine your motives. Trying to attract someone else by wearing a sexy looking outfit is one more way to jump into unfaithful waters.

7. Writing personal intimate notes or letters to someone else

If you're writing a letter of condolence or congratulations, or other good wishes, let it be from both you and your spouse. Then there will be no misunderstanding about your intentions.

8. Not being a willing sexual partner with your spouse

Being faithful to your spouse means giving yourself over to him or her to enjoy the intimate side of your marriage. To withhold sexual intimacy from your spouse if not doing your part in keeping your marriage strong and fulfilling. It creates sorrow and even suspicion. Being a faithful spouse means doing your part to make it a beautiful relationship in all aspects.

9. Putting your parents before your spouse

Your spouse must always be the number one person in your life. If something wonderful happens to you, like a promotion, a confirmation of a pregnancy, or any other good news, you may be tempted to immediately call a parent to share in the joy. Resist. Let your spouse be the first to know your good news. Then share it with others.

10. Putting your children before your spouse

Kids matter. They are very important people in your life, but not more important than your spouse. If you knock your spouse off the top of your priority list you are not showing total fidelity to him or her. Your mate must come first. Not only does it cement your marriage and make it stronger, it gives your children the best security blanket they will ever have.

Check yourself on these points and make sure you are being 100 percent faithful to your spouse. By doing this you will create a genuinely happy and fulfilling marriage.

By Gary and Joy Lundberg

Merry Christmas to all our Readers and Fans!!

Happy birthday to the celebrant of today the reason why the whole world rejoice and merry, the Shepherd of my life, the King and Lord, the one and only JESUS CHRIST- I celebrate you SIR. You are the reasons for this seasons. Jesus is COMING BACK !!!!

Merry Christmas to all our Readers, Fans and Friends. You guys rocks!!!



From Adenike Salako Blog's World....

You need to put your spouse before your children

There is a natural order in marriage. It begins with two people falling in love, believing that they are the most important person in the world to each other. As children come along they need to be cherished and loved but never more than your spouse. Then when they're grown and gone, it's back to just two people again. When these two remain in love, it provides a stability and a legacy for the children, no matter their age.

The four key reasons

• Your children need to see how marriage works
  
  If you push your spouse down on your list of priorities, your children will believe that marriage isn't all that important. On the other hand, if they see you honoring your spouse with that number one spot, they will feel a love and security that can come in no other way.
  A young adult shared the following experience. She said, "When I was little I used to ask my mom who she loved the most, me or Dad. She always said, "Dad." I asked him the same question, and he answered "Mom." Of course, I knew they loved me, but I was always a little disappointed that they didn't say they loved me the most. A few years later I asked them again and the answer they gave showed me on top, at last. They said they loved me the most. The funny thing is, it didn't feel so good after all. It wasn't the feeling I was expecting. I liked it better when they said they loved each other the most." A few years later they were divorced. She said, "They needed to keep loving each other the most, then I might still have a mom and dad together. It's sad." 
  Twin college coeds were counseling their younger sisters about what to look for in their future husband. They wrote: "Tonight when Dad comes home from work or meetings, listen to the first words he'll say when he walks in the door: 'Where's my beautiful wife?' Then watch as he searches the house to find her, just so he can kiss her to let her know he loves her. Notice how he'll start helping with whatever he can right away, and how he makes every one of you feel so important as he asks about your day."
  Putting your spouse first does not diminish the love your children feel from you. It enhances it as long as you show love to them as well.
• It creates a feeling of romance in your marriage
  
  You know right off the top that you matter to your spouse, and that's romantic. How open are you to respond with love and affection when you feel that you are the most important person in the world to your spouse? Keeping romance alive in marriage is crucial. And this is not just about "making love," it's about giving love in everyday little acts of caring that show your spouse how much he or she means to you. An unhappy wife told us that her husband meets the needs of everyone else first and rarely even notices hers. Are there times when a child's needs come first? Of course, but not continually and not at the expense of your spouse. A father of three young children, when asked if he still had the top spot on his wife's list of priorities, said, "I'm not even on the list." He wasn't laughing. Busy spouses must always find time to show their mates how important they are to them.
• Children who are continually number one become self-centered
  
  When they are practically worshiped at home by a parent, children go out into the world with an unrealistic view; one that says they are owed. In an article by physician Danielle Teller, titled "How American parenting is killing the American marriage," she said, "Children who are raised to believe that they are the center of the universe have a tough time when their special status erodes as they approach adulthood. Most troubling of all, couples who live entirely child-centric lives can lose touch with one another to the point where they have nothing left to say to one another when the kids leave home... Is it surprising that divorce rates are rising fastest for new empty nesters?"
• It helps everything else in your life go better
  
  When your marriage is going well, it improves every other part of your life. If you have to spend time worrying about your marriage, it will take away from your productivity at work. Even more important, if you spend time fretting over marital problems, you have less time to devote to your children. There is only so much time and space in your life so keeping the marriage strong opens up more avenues for your relationship with your children to flourish. Keeping your spouse in that number one spot is what helps make that happen.
  When divorce and remarriage enter the scene, it can be complicated. Where do the children of the first marriage fit? The new spouse deserves that number one spot, but that does not mean the children of a previous marriage are excluded. Children of divorce can feel left out and unloved if proper attention is not given to them. They may not be number one, but they need to be a very close number two, even if they are unlovable at times. They're hurting. They need both of their natural parents' love for them to thrive.
  If you are a step-parent (some call it more lovingly a bonus parent), then you need to be willing to welcome your current mate's children into your lives and allow him or her to have time to enjoy their children. Bring them into a loving family where they can see that your current marriage is one of happiness and strength. It will give them a feeling of security they were missing before.

source: Gary and Joy Lundberg

THE REASON FOR CHRISTMAS

For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures. 1 Corinthians 15:3-4

The Christmas season has become a month we are bombarded with a whirlwind of consumerism, and with advertisements and promotions of all kinds on our airwaves.

It is very easy for us, even as Christians to be caught up in this whirlwind and forget the true reason for Christmas.

So let's try to answer this question: What is the meaning of the Christmas season?

First, Jesus Christ came to proclaim good news to the poor; to those who are spiritually hurting. He came to heal the broken-hearted.

Medical science has found ways to reduce and even remove pain. But there is no cure for a broken heart.

Jesus came to set us free from the bondage of sin. Jesus came to open our spiritual eyes to our spiritual need. He came to lift up those who are crushed by life.

He came to give us abundant life. Jesus came to give us hope and a future. He came to give His life for us.

Jesus said, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many".

He came to die so that we will live. Jesus Christ came to this earth to seek and save those of us who are lost, just as a shepherd seeks a lost sheep.

So in all of this hustle and bustle, wrapping paper, and brightly coloured lights, let's get down to the bottom line.

Christmas is about God sending His Son to die on a cross. He was born to die, to give us eternal life.

He came to give us eternal inheritance in the Kingdom of God.

Prayer: Father, thank You for Christmas.

Scriptural Reading: 1 Corinthians 15:3-4

GOD GAVE HIS SON

But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. Galatians 4:4-5

When we think of Christmas, we think of the arrival of Jesus: For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given".

In reality, it was also a departure. For us, a Child was born. But for God the Father, a Son was given.

In heaven, the time had come for the departure of God's Son. We even have a record of Jesus' farewell words to the Father.

He said, "'Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but a body you have prepared for me. In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin you had no pleasure." Then I said, "Behold, I have come—in the volume of the book it is written of me—to do your will, O God".

Jesus literally left the throne in heaven to a feeding trough in a manger. He went from the presence of angels to a stable of animals.

He who was larger than the universe became an embryo. Scripture sums it up well: "Though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor."

And whilst we rejoice at His arriving, in heaven there is sadness at His departure. The giving of the Son was a big sacrifice on the part of the Father and His angels.

No one who has ever lived has even remotely affected human history the way Jesus Christ has.

He has been opposed, censored, banned, and criticized by every generation since His birth. Yet His influence continues unabated.

There has never been anyone like Jesus, because Jesus was not just a good man.

He was the God-man who came and walked this earth. And that is what we should celebrate every day.

Prayer: Father, thank You for giving us Jesus, Your only begotten Son.

Scriptural Reading: Galatians 4:1-7

HOW IS YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE?

But God said to him, 'Fool! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided?' Luke 12:20

God wants to use you to win souls, but what about your own soul right now?

Have you given any attention to it lately? Have you looked at the state of your soul? We all have the tendency to place so much emphasis on that which will pass away and so little emphasis on that which lasts forever.

The Bible tells us the story of a man who forgot about God, a man who had all his needs covered except his spiritual need - the most important one of all.

He built a great storage barn to keep all his assets but soon realized that he needed more space.

What he had was not enough. He wanted a lot more. So he set out to build a massive storage barn with the view to guaranteeing permanent success for the rest of his life. In his heart, he boasted in his own strength.

The Lord rebuked him for his materialism and that night everything changed.

This is not a blanket condemnation of those who are successful or wealthy. In fact, there are many commendable things about this man.

He apparently was a hardworking farmer. He obviously worked harder, got up earlier, and spent more effort than all of the other farmers to accomplish his goals.

His mistake was not in being successful in his work or acquiring possessions. His mistake was failing to make plans for eternity.

His mistake was that he forgot about his soul. He was living well, not recognizing that all human life has an end and then, eternity.

Prayer: Lord, You are the hope of my salvation and the strength of my life; help me trust You always.

Scriptural Reading: Luke 12:13-21

Getting to the Other Side of Grief

I ran into a friend at the mall today who recently lost her brother. He was 27 years old. Far too young with too much life to live. Matt and I had the privilege of going to his service a few weeks ago and we immediately fell in love with their family, even though we had never met them before. It's the type of family that made us say: a) we want a big family, and b) we want to be as close as they are.

My heart ached and ached for their loss all throughout his service. I found myself crying almost the entire time, even though I never had the chance to know him. At one point I literally wanted to stand and wail and mourn for their indescribable loss and grief. I cursed the American way of grieving in my mind—so solemn and composed. I wanted to immediately implement the Jewish and Middle Eastern customs of grieving with wailing and tearing of the clothes and pouring ashes on the head.

Since we have begun our own grief journey I have noticed this subtle mindset that so many have about grief. The more outwardly composed and collected we are, the more praised we are for "being strong" and being a light and example. An example of what? Not collapsing on the floor in gut-wrenching pain and weeping that leaves our eyes nearly swollen shut and our faces red and blotchy? No, we save that for the privacy of our bedrooms.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. People who experience such profound loss and grief are not any stronger than you are. We did not experience our loss because we possessed more strength than you and you are not exempt from experiencing it yourself. People who experience such profound loss and grief go on living because we have to.

As my sweet friend and I talked I realized we shared many of those same experiences. People praising her for being strong. People commending her because she looked like she was moving on because she happened to get dressed and put makeup on that day. I loved the way she confronted the last person who told her that. It's a front, she said, I'm actually living in a black hole right now.

Because people don't see the other side.

They don't see the sleepless nights and the nightmares and the constant replay of your worst memories: the still heart where there should've been a beating one, the moment she was placed in your arms and all you could cry was, You're so beautiful, you're so perfect, the kissing of her head over and over, the soaking in of her face knowing you'd never see it again, the handing her over for the final time, the collapsing on the bed in tears because you don't know how you will live through this pain. They don't see the crushing of your heart when you see someone who has what you should have. They don't see the tears rolling down your face night after night, the thousand different places in this city that you've cried and then pulled it together as you pulled into the church parking lot. They don't see the anger and the desperate questioning and the item thrown across the room because you can't stand the pain and anger anymore. And they don't see that it doesn't stop. That nine months later you're still so freaking sad and angry that you realize for the first time that grief is a long, long journey and you're just getting started.

I'm comforted when I find in the Bible the same gut-wrenching pain that has become so familiar to me. None of this ridiculous composure and "staying strong" and being the poster child for handling grief well. Isaiah tells me that Jesus was a man familiar with grief and sorrow, and when Jesus wept the original language describes for us the type of weeping that is from the stomach; you know, the kind that doubles you over.

Jesus is near to me. He is with me. He has never left me. I have laid in bed and pleaded with Him to please show me His love and kindness because it felt so far and, even at times, not true, and my God, the one who leads the stars out in number by name, has done just that. He has shown me indescribable love and kindness. But it doesn't erase nor exempt me from the grief experience. Nor any other believer. Yes, God is good, but death isn't.

He tells us in his own Word that the last enemy to be destroyed is death (1st Cor. 15:26). Yes, death is an enemy. And we can have every type of visceral reaction to it that soldiers have in battle at enemy lines. It is not tidy. It is not comfortable. It doesn't make for easy conversation or even relationship. It reshapes what you thought your life would be like, look like. It is inescapable.

When I talked to her today my eyes filled with tears as she spoke and shared how angry she's been, and I told her I have been as well, and I told her that's OK; it's part of the process. No, we don't want to stay there and become embittered but we don't have to have a quick palatable response to everything either. We don't have to defend God or try to make it go away for the other person. We can simply say, I know and I'm so sorry. I've been there too. I'm there now.

Someone shared this perspective not long ago and it's stuck with me. How much would I love it if my children came to me when they were older with their real problems and questions and struggles and sin, more than if they simply always told me the "right" thing so that I somehow felt better about them? I love my children desperately and nothing could ever separate me from loving them.

I crave relationship with them, not a surface appearance of them doing the right things but me never actually knowing them, truly knowing them. And it makes me wonder how much more so our Father? He's not looking for us to have our spiritual ducks in a row first. He's not looking for us to redeem our own pain and experiences. He is the Redeemer. He is the one who sanctifies. He is the one to work out all things for good.

I think people who suffer and grieve have such deep faith because the believing doesn't come easy anymore. It's been purified in the Refiner's fire. We can no longer say that God is good because our lives are going how we think they should; we now say God is good because He is simply good. Because it is who He has been for all of eternity and He is incapable of being anything other than Himself in all His perfection. His goodness isn't true because we have good gifts. His goodness is true because it is who He is.

Yes, my faith is deeper. My belief in God and His Word are stronger. But it's not without severe pain and wrestling.

And something tells me that there are some of you who can relate. And I want you to know, it's OK.

Source:charismamag.com

Ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage

When I got married, I was amazed at the instant, overwhelming sense of responsibility I felt to love and care for my husband. Suddenly, a huge part of someone else's well-being and happiness was largely affected by my choices and actions.

Women, we need to be careful about how we are caring for our husbands and marriages. Don't let the small stuff ruin the things that will bring you the greatest happiness in life.

Here are just a few ways you might be unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage (as a caveat, please understand that although this article is directed toward women, it applies to men as well):

1. Living outside of what you can afford: A wise old woman from my church congregation once advised: "The best thing you can do as a wife is to live within your husband's means."

Wives, show sincere appreciation and respect to your husband by carefully following a budget and making the most of what you have. Be wise about your finances.

Constantly complaining about not having enough to fulfill your lavish desires or racking up astronomical amounts of debt on your credit card is a poor way of saying "thank you" to a faithful spouse who works hard every day to provide for the family.

Yes, you may not have enough to buy that Kate Spade bag you've had your eyes on for months, but your husband will love and appreciate the fact that you honor him and are grateful for what he provides.

2. Constant negativity: You hate your hair, the messes around the house, the neighbor across the street, your dumb co-worker, the old dishwasher, and everything in between. As soon as your husband walks through the door, you launch into action and dump every negative and angry thought that's crossed your mind throughout the day.

Can you imagine having to carry that burden? Negativity is draining. Men like to fix things, and constantly being hounded with complaints makes it difficult for him to help solve your pains.

If there is one thing I've learned from marriage is that a good man wants you to be happy, and if he can't help you do that, it makes him unhappy. It's okay to have a bad day once in a while, that's totally understandable, but don't make it a way of life.

3. Putting everything else first: When your children, mom, best friends, talents, or career in front of your husband, you send a clear message to him that he is unimportant. Imagine having that message sent to you every day for many years. What would that do to your self esteem?

Put your husband first.

Although it sometimes seems counter-intuitive and counterproductive, I think you'd be amazed to find that it's often the key to the greatest happiness in marriage. So many couples get divorced these days, because they neglect to care and love one another and put each other first.

If you choose to put each other first, you will find a lot of joy.

4. Withholding physical affection: Men crave and need physical affection with their wives. When you constantly decline intimacy, it wears on them. Sex should not be used as a tool to control your spouse; it should be viewed as a sacred tool to draw you closer to one another and to God. It is a great blessing to be wanted and needed by a loving, romantic husband who wants to share something so beautiful and important with you -- and you only. Even though you might not always be in the mood, it's worth it to give in (when you can) and spend that time bonding.

5. Not speaking his language: Women love to drop hints. (I think it's part of our DNA.) But men just don't get them. (I think that is a part of their DNA.)

Don't waste your time giving subtle hints that he won't understand: Speak plainly to him. Be honest about your feelings, and don't bottle things up until you burst. If he asks you what's wrong, don't respond with "nothing" and then expect him to read your mind and emotions. Be open about how you really feel.

Source: Katelyn Carmen