I found myself in an all wrong relationship when I turned 30. I never once considered if the ‘great man’ who found me was counterfeit or legit. He spun an impenetrable web delicately laced with dreams of an amazing life. We were all sold: my family, friends and most importantly me. I imbibed it, no questions asked. I later discovered the depth of my counterfeit’s ramshackle and debatable character and paid a hefty price for my naiveté.
Character, I learned the hard way, must take precedence over charisma. Anyone can be charismatic. Mr. Charisma spots you from across the way, is ridiculously attractive, says all the right things and is magnetic. You can’t put your finger on it, but you know you feel connected in some way. That doesn’t mean he has the character to back up all that finesse and allure. That is substantiated by time and consistency.
There are 5 characteristics I now look for in a great man when I enter a high potential dating relationship.
1. Committed – Say yes to the man whose mind is already made up. He is the man you’ll be able to set your watch by. You can count on him to do his very best. His mind is made up, he’s all in and consulting God every single step of the way. Say no to the man who is ‘making up his mind’ about you, his life and living in general.
2. Protection – Physical protection is important; but it is a given. Say yes to the man who will protect you with his words. He will be gentle and always address you with respect. He won’t put you down in public nor will he ridicule you behind closed doors. He will have your back even if that means he has to stand up to his friends, family or his mama. This is a man who will be encouraging and supportive. He will make you feel provided for (financially, emotionally, sexually, and mentally) and he will make ‘it’ work–all of it.
3. Reliable – Don’t get it tangled with boring. Say yes to Mr. Reliable. He is the man who will be consistently dependable. He will have resilient character; and will also be a good judge of it. This man will walk in wisdom and use the spirit of discernment to lead and cover his family. You will count on him to make good decisions and right choices, even if you’re not around to assist. You will trust in his reaction to certain situations and overall he will be reliable in how he does life and how he studies God’s word. One thing he won’t be is boring.
4. Motivated – This man isn’t just sitting around waiting for someone else to stir his pot. He’s already gassed up and ready to drive. He will be motivated to work, get things done and be the provider that he was called to be. It’s not about the fancy education, the latest pair of sneakers, those perfect set of pearly whites or the rippling abs that have helped him get by all this time. Ask yourself: Is he a hard worker? When the tough times come, will he be so prideful that he won’t take a menial job temporarily to make ends meet?
5. Mindful – Say yes to the mindful man who thinks of you—always. You may not always like him, but you will always love him. You will value his mind and appreciate the way he thinks. His heart and intentions will be pure. He will consider that you’re a light sleeper. He will think about how your daughter is scared of the dark and ensure her nightlight will always shine. He will understand you live in a hurricane area and will stock extra canned goods, water and kerosene lamp. This is the man who’s got those broad shoulders to carry you and his family.
Of course there are additional traits I would like in my husband: humorous, easy-going, good-looking and so on. But when I consider my future vows, the solid foundation wins. The other desires held in my heart and his will be added to us as God promises in His word. source: theprayingwoman.com
A man who finds a wife finds a good thing. He was never created to be alone. Without Eve, Adam would have never changed his loin cloth, he wouldn’t have eaten 3-square meals, and he probably wouldn’t wash his hair enough. A woman is critical to a great man’s mission and overall success.
A great man will reveal these characteristics over time. To the man of good character and pure heart—say yes. Choose him. Want him. Pick him. Love him. Don’t just love
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