I was hoping that it will not get to this, but I need help.
The help i need is for my friends and brethren to please pass this onto a man they know....every man they know.
You know when there is a problem in a marriage, most of the time, we get to hear the story from only one party. But when the story is consistent and the exact issue is always the cause of the problem , you assume that there is no smoke without a fire.
The issue of pastors cheating on their wives is rife.
By the virtue of the ministry to women, we are having to deal with this so frequently.
I have searched my heart and come to some conclusions as to why things may be happening this way.
WOMEN:
A lot of us are very trusting. Most of the ladies attest to it that Pastor is sleeping with a close relative of the wife or at times, even the house-help or a sister in church. He is not bold enough to go out, or the risk that the news may get to the church members. We trust these helps and relatives. We bring them home and they take over the home. Some of them are even talked into the act, not that they had that in mind when they came in. We trust PASTOR even when there are obvious pointers...or shall i say we choose to ignore the obvious hoping its a lie?
We blame everyone else apart from the real cause of the problem. If your husband, the pastor is sleeping with someone else, you blame the woman who SEDUCED your husband.....what was he doing where he got seduced? Its very difficult to catch a man and pull his pants down to sleep with you. Most men will not even have an erection when they are not sexually attracted. Pastor did it because he wanted to. HE IS GUILTY OF THE ADULTERY....
We don't know where to turn to.......There is help available for those who want it. I said those who want it, because its not everyone who want an end to their problem. If you have a cheating husband, you have a choice to stay with him in his error or expose the wickedness and let him get help.
We are too scared of getting help. The common saying i hear is .....it will affect the ministry. Sisters, if your husband is living in sin, and you continue to expose other children of God to him, you are abating crime spiritually and you are as guilty. You don't want him to lose face....okay.....you may ends up losing your mind.
We feel guilty.. Typically, when a woman complains that her husband is cheating , the first finger is pointed at her.... YOU DON'T DRESS WELL, YOU DON'T DO SEXUAL STYLES, YOU DON'T LOVE HIM ENOUGH!!!! Sisters, don't feel guilty because someone is pointing at you....a man is responsible for his actions. If he is sleeping with someone else when he is married to you, its because the part of his brain that controls his choices is faulty. Forget the spiritual part, its not a demon that is afflicting him, the demon does not pull his pants down......he does that by himself. Those who are afflicted by demons pull their pants down in public.....if you hubby pulls his pants down with another woman in your bedroom or in a hotel room...he is not afflicted of the devil. He has made a choice to desecrate your marital bed. A woman will rarely move out and start having extramarital affairs because her PASTOR HUBBY has pot belly. Is it because they don't like toned 6-pack men? No, its because they reverence their marital vows and God. Don't let anyone blame you for an unrepentant wandering husband. He chose his destiny in hell. He is responsible for his actions.
We blame everyone else apart from the real cause of the problem. If your husband, the pastor is sleeping with someone else, you blame the woman who SEDUCED your husband.....what was he doing where he got seduced? Its very difficult to catch a man and pull his pants down to sleep with you. Most men will not even have an erection when they are not sexually attracted. Pastor did it because he wanted to. HE IS GUILTY OF THE ADULTERY....
We don't know where to turn to.......There is help available for those who want it. I said those who want it, because its not everyone who want an end to their problem. If you have a cheating husband, you have a choice to stay with him in his error or expose the wickedness and let him get help.
We are too scared of getting help. The common saying i hear is .....it will affect the ministry. Sisters, if your husband is living in sin, and you continue to expose other children of God to him, you are abating crime spiritually and you are as guilty. You don't want him to lose face....okay.....you may ends up losing your mind.
We feel guilty.. Typically, when a woman complains that her husband is cheating , the first finger is pointed at her.... YOU DON'T DRESS WELL, YOU DON'T DO SEXUAL STYLES, YOU DON'T LOVE HIM ENOUGH!!!! Sisters, don't feel guilty because someone is pointing at you....a man is responsible for his actions. If he is sleeping with someone else when he is married to you, its because the part of his brain that controls his choices is faulty. Forget the spiritual part, its not a demon that is afflicting him, the demon does not pull his pants down......he does that by himself. Those who are afflicted by demons pull their pants down in public.....if you hubby pulls his pants down with another woman in your bedroom or in a hotel room...he is not afflicted of the devil. He has made a choice to desecrate your marital bed. A woman will rarely move out and start having extramarital affairs because her PASTOR HUBBY has pot belly. Is it because they don't like toned 6-pack men? No, its because they reverence their marital vows and God. Don't let anyone blame you for an unrepentant wandering husband. He chose his destiny in hell. He is responsible for his actions.
MEN;
Most men who indulge in sin in marriage had the tendency to do so before marriage. So, the appearance of your desires is just a display of what has been hidden for a long time. You don't have any business teaching women when you know that you have a problem keeping your zip up. Dedication to God requires discipline. If you are not there yet, don't step out.
God calls people, others call themselves. If you have called yourself, we can understand that it will be a bit of struggle. But you don't need to hold the woman responsible for your choices.
The Bible says in James 1: 13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
You desired it, you planned it and action it....so enjoy it and be proud to enjoy your sinful life.
Its painful when a man cheats . Its more painful when a 'MAN OF GOD' cheats. How can it be ....when one who should be the custodian of the law is the one breaking it. When you announced that you are a pastor, people take you to be a GOD-REPRESENTATIVE.... they give you the respect and give you the honour. You dupe them of their trust and capitalize on this and mess them up. You use the name of God as a tool to let yourself into the homes and hearts of many....The bible has already made provision for people like you.....2 TIMOTHY 3: 1B-8....As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They’ll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they’re animals. Stay clear of these people. 6-9 These are the kind of people who smooth-talk themselves into the homes of unstable and needy women and take advantage of them; women who, depressed by their sinfulness, take up with every new religious fad that calls itself “truth.” They get exploited every time and never really learn.
You will be found out soon, and all those who respect you will see your shame, if you refuse to repent. Your wife married you in faith and believing in you, she protects you. She hides your sin from the members, some of whom believe that you are their property...YOUR SHAME SHALL SPREAD ABROAD when God decides to visit your iniquity.
The Bible says that he that commits sin is not of God... other translations say....HE THAT PERSISTENTLY COMMITS SIN DOES NOT KNOW GOD. How i wish that the weak women who give in to you will see this and get it !!! The deception is both ways i guess, they are corrupt and want a corrupt man , even though they sing in the choir and lead Sunday school, they are still harlots. So, you go well together.
For the sisters who are laden with the burden of living with persistent adulterers who like to be addressed as PASTORS....the choice is yours.
God calls people, others call themselves. If you have called yourself, we can understand that it will be a bit of struggle. But you don't need to hold the woman responsible for your choices.
The Bible says in James 1: 13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
You desired it, you planned it and action it....so enjoy it and be proud to enjoy your sinful life.
Its painful when a man cheats . Its more painful when a 'MAN OF GOD' cheats. How can it be ....when one who should be the custodian of the law is the one breaking it. When you announced that you are a pastor, people take you to be a GOD-REPRESENTATIVE.... they give you the respect and give you the honour. You dupe them of their trust and capitalize on this and mess them up. You use the name of God as a tool to let yourself into the homes and hearts of many....The bible has already made provision for people like you.....2 TIMOTHY 3: 1B-8....As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They’ll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they’re animals. Stay clear of these people. 6-9 These are the kind of people who smooth-talk themselves into the homes of unstable and needy women and take advantage of them; women who, depressed by their sinfulness, take up with every new religious fad that calls itself “truth.” They get exploited every time and never really learn.
You will be found out soon, and all those who respect you will see your shame, if you refuse to repent. Your wife married you in faith and believing in you, she protects you. She hides your sin from the members, some of whom believe that you are their property...YOUR SHAME SHALL SPREAD ABROAD when God decides to visit your iniquity.
The Bible says that he that commits sin is not of God... other translations say....HE THAT PERSISTENTLY COMMITS SIN DOES NOT KNOW GOD. How i wish that the weak women who give in to you will see this and get it !!! The deception is both ways i guess, they are corrupt and want a corrupt man , even though they sing in the choir and lead Sunday school, they are still harlots. So, you go well together.
For the sisters who are laden with the burden of living with persistent adulterers who like to be addressed as PASTORS....the choice is yours.
1. You don't have to cover up with his perpetual sins. You need to SHOUT IT OUT. Sin thrives in secrecy.
2. You say OMOB, do i move out? I say, that is an option. Don't embrace the GOD HATES DIVORCE phrase that everyone will throw at you. THE SAME GOD HATES ADULTERY AND EVERY FORM OF SIN.... yet the people who shout that at you commit these sins everyday, and they advise you as though they are better than you. Separation may mean that you stay out of his house, whilst you look for a way out and encourage him to get help. It may mean that you stay in the house , and give him space without any sexual contact.
3. We want your home to work. If a man is willing to make good his ways, repent and get help, God is able to restore him.
4. Do you have to keep sleeping with him? Its your choice. BE WISE.....If he has been putting his tools in all dirty gutters around town, ask him to wear a condom. You don't deserve a life sentence with HIV because of someone else's wrong choices. If you still choose to not sleep with him because you are not sure.....you are not bound by any contract to do so, the day he let his tools out in inappropriate places, he already broke the covenant between you two.
5. Don't suffer in silence. In as much as help is available, be careful the kind of help you give in to. You are also susceptible , as you have been cheated and heartbroken. Don't let the need for help drive you into immorality . You find succor with another man.....you will only make things worse.
6. If a man persistently abuses you because you question him about his adulterous ways, you need to get out of that marriage and get help. Your life is worth more than a wedding ring. It was not how God designed it to be. Marriage should be enjoyed and not a daily abuse ; slaps and kicks because you are afraid to ask questions. If he is beating you because you raise concerns about evidences that he is cheating, he will kill you someday and you wont be here to give your own side of the story.
7. You say I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO BE PRAYING FOR HIM..... Yes, pray, most of the time, you have been praying for so long before speaking out. Prayer is good. I know that when the heart is weary, it gets more difficult to pray. You can pray, but also ACT....
For every woman who is faced with this, help is available. By Sis Bola.
Pls free free to comment below, let know your view........
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