Drifting happens to all couples, no matter how long you have been
married, simply as a consequence of the hustle and bustle of life. So first
things first: You have to make time for each other and nurture your friendship
foundation during that time. Focusing on those things that you really like
about each other and continuing the never-ending process of getting to know
each other as you individually evolve will keep you engaged for the long haul.
1. Dream share: On separate pieces of
paper, write down five to 10 life dreams independently. Once you have completed
your lists, see if you can guess the other’s dreams. You might be surprised to
find out that you never knew your husband wanted to learn Japanese or have
another child.
2. Share a blast from your
past: Sharing memories is a beautiful way to bond with your husband, and
many couples don’t do this as a natural way of being with one another. For this
activity, fill up a hat with small pieces of paper on which you’ve written a
year from the time you two were 5 years old until present day. Alternate
drawing from the hat and sharing a memory — be it fond, embarrassing, tragic or
otherwise — from that particular year.
3. S*x cleanse: While s*x can be a
fabulous way to bring a couple closer together, not having s*x can be, too! A
deliberate s*x fast can show you what your relationship looks like without
physical intimacy, meaning it has to rely on emotional, mental and spiritual
intimacy. Don’t worry: You can see all that you need to see in just a couple of
weeks. And when I say “no s*x,” it doesn’t mean you can’t engage in other fun
stuff.
4. Have a best/worst swap: Nightly, is it just
before bed or beforehand (at dinner, if you are kid-less or if your kids will
give you 10 minutes to yourselves before dinner), share the best and most
challenging parts of your day. Be sure to high-five your honey for his
accomplishments, no matter how small, and empathize with any rough patches.
5. Play a trivia game: On index cards, each of
you creates 25 trivia questions about yourselves. Topics might include favorite
song, least favorite relative, biggest pet peeve, biggest turn on, blood type,
etc. Write the question on the front and the answer on the back. Then, play the
game as usual using points, candy, cash or whatever other fun currency you
desire. The one with the most correct answers is off the hook for a week of
dishes.
6. Engage in each other’s
interests: Friendship relies on commonalities. And while it is certainly healthy
to have independent pursuits, it is important to be interested in each other’s
passions. Become knowledgeable on your honey’s favorite pastime, be it fine
wines or football, so that he not only feels comfortable sharing this love with
you, but that you also can feed his energy when he does.
7. Take up an interest
together: Find a new hobby that neither one of you has ever explored but in
which you share a mutual interest. This could be something you engage in
together, such as an intramural sports team, a book club or a cooking class, or
something you try out on your own, such as amateur photography or furniture
refinishing. Experiencing something new together will allow you to see each in
a fresh way as well as give both something that is uniquely yours amid the
hustle and bustle of life that can pull in you opposite directions.
By sheknows
