Sow Kindness in Your Marriage

An offer to help, a smile and a kind word will reduce the heat of everyday responsibilities

The first command God gave mankind was to be fruitful and multiply (see Gen. 1:28). But fruitfulness involves more than merely growing physical fruit.

As a Christian, the Spirit of God has already been planted within you, now it's your job to cultivate the seed of His nature. And it is not going to be an easy thing to do all the time.

The farmer's seeds must push through a layer of dirt in order to reach the sunlight. That dirt outweighs that little seed, and it will have to struggle hard to break through. In the same manner, God's Spirit has to push through the dirt we call our flesh.

Our flesh may be innately selfish, rude and indulgent. The Spirit of God inside of us is none of those things. Thus, there is resistance; there is conflict. And in marriage, these can pose numerous problems in the way we communicate with our spouse.

Take the case of James, who comes home after a rough workday. The computer program he'd worked on around the clock for weeks wasn't running. After a tense meeting with his concerned boss, James headed home exhausted.

When he opened the door to greet his pregnant wife, he was confronted with the words, "I hope you won't work all hours of the day when the baby is born!" Without saying a word, James watched his wife set out the meal she had prepared hours earlier. He knew he was desperately in need of something, but couldn't put his finger on it.

Then there is Charlotte, a homeschooling mother of four, who also had a tough day. Shortly after her husband left for work, one child developed a fever combined with nausea.

After a stressful day of serving as both impromptu nurse and schoolteacher, Charlotte was preparing dinner when her husband entered and said with a smile, "This house looks like a disaster area. What did you do today?" Not returning the smile, Charlotte became defensive as she set the table. She also needed something, but felt too overwhelmed to express it.

What James and Charlotte needed was an act of kindness. James needed a hug and a "Boy, I'm glad to see you, you hard-working man." Charlotte needed her husband to notice her overwhelmed state and come to her aid.

Every spouse needs kindness daily. Many of us feel that life is like an overworked, fast-moving engine. In mechanical terms, an engine receives a constant supply of motor oil to prevent friction and overheating. Likewise, random and intentional acts of kindness lubricate marriage relationships, easing life's friction.

An offer to help, a smile and a kind word will reduce the heat of everyday responsibilities. Knowing that someone cares enough to notice and say thank you makes the day-to-day routine a little easier to handle.

Kindness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, and when it's displayed, it can make anyone feel special. Think about the last act of kindness your spouse did for you, and how it made you feel. The fruit of kindness is sweet to the soul.

You've Got It In You - Through the Spirit of God, the power of kindness dwells within you, ready to be released. Any act of kindness you show to your spouse plants a seed that will eventually grow into a fruit-bearing tree of kindness. Will you reap a plentiful harvest because of your continual planting and nurturing, or will your harvest be small?

In Colorado where I live, huge trees grow right through rocks and boulders. It's amazing that the power of a tiny seed is greater than the power of the large surrounding rocks. Similarly, your decision to exhibit the fruit of kindness is not hindered by the attitude of your spouse. Even the strongest will cannot weaken the power of the seed.

In marriage, you have been given the strength to be kind in order to fortify the spirit, soul and person of your husband. He, in turn, will grow because of your encouragement. King David, one of the greatest Bible characters and a friend of God, referred not to God's power or wisdom, but rather to His gentleness as the thing that made Him great (see 2 Sam. 22:36; Ps. 18:35).

In essence, kindness is shown when one person chooses to use his or her strength in a gentle manner toward another. Take note of the following ways in which kindness can be expressed in your interaction with your mate:

Spoken kindness. The first seeds of kindness we can sow in the heart of our spouse are in the thoughtful words we speak. Often, out of laziness or familiarity, we begin to be gruff, sarcastic, or demeaning in our responses to normal questions. Our answers seem sharp instead of seasoned with grace. We should respond as though every question our spouse asks is an intelligent one. We should take time to listen fully and give a sincere answer.

Spoken kindness is expressed also in the tone of speech we employ. It's possible to never say a wrong thing yet communicate an unkind attitude when we speak. Next to God, you are the loudest and most consistent voice your spouse hears. It's your choice to use a kind voice that supports and encourages your spouse, or a gruff voice that discourages, degrades and minimizes.

Speaking thoughtful, gentle words to your spouse in front of your friends and your children is yet another expression of spoken kindness. Always thank your spouse when he or she is serving you in some manner. But instead of just saying, "Thanks, Honey," be specific. Saying "Thank you, Honey, for getting the butter; that was kind of you," communicates that you actually notice your spouse's acts of kindness.

The words you speak and the kind way in which they are spoken will soon become the heart of your everyday lifestyle. As your heart becomes kind, so your words will also, and your spouse's heart will be motivated by your example to do the same.

A kind touch. Sometimes a touch can communicate kindness more loudly than words. Holding your spouse's hand, gently caressing his back or even giving him a private foot massage can express volumes of kindness.

There is a kind of touching that is expressly meant to communicate kindness without any hint of sexuality or need for reciprocation. This soothing, unselfish, gentle type of touch is a great way to plant kindness in your spouse's heart. Although verbal expressions may be deflected or discounted, a touch is rarely rejected.

The expression of "teamfulness." I use the word "teamfulness" as a means of defining the way a husband and wife operate in unity. They anticipate each other's actions and, knowing the strengths and weaknesses of each other, capitalize on these strengths for the good of the team.

Here is how teamfulness works: When you see the laundry, you do the laundry because you're part of the team. If you see a situation that must be dealt with regarding one of your children, you handle it without passing it on to your spouse. You know your husband's schedule, and you cover for him without an attitude.

In the same way, your spouse-the other team member-is so in touch with your world that often he sees a need before you do. In this way your spouse throws you the ball, so to speak, and you both score.

Kindness is something you can offer your spouse freely every day. It should be both intentional and spontaneous.

Intentional kindness means purposefully releasing the kindness you possess on a regular basis. Along these lines, one piece of advice I offer husbands is to give their wives a night away from home once a week. This should be a time for her to spend as she chooses. I explain to them that their wives need time to relax or play, when she does not have to be a mom, a wife, a cook, the clean-up crew and the leader of bedtime rituals.

Similarly, a wife can plan intentional acts of kindness for her husband based on his interests. Some wives who are gifted cooks may want to select one day a week to prepare a gourmet meal for the family.

We also need to recognize the importance of spontaneous kindness. Don't become so mechanical in your plans that you fail to capitalize on those great daily opportunities that arise to be kind to your mate.

My wife, Lisa, is regularly kind to me. When I come home on a warm day, I first like to spend about 15 minutes on the hammock in our backyard. It's magical the way both my soul and body become relaxed and refreshed. Lisa usually protects this time, so I am not interrupted. This is a much appreciated, spontaneous act of kindness she gives to me.

Commit to Kindness - Just as a seed in the natural realm contains the nature of the fruit it will become, so, too, within that seed of the Spirit planted in you is the very DNA of God: His heart, His mind, His will and His nature. The seed in you desires to be respectful and kind.

The first step in making kindness a greater reality in your home is to break previous agreements you may have made with unkindness. Confess your sins against God and your spouse. Seek forgiveness for any actions, attitudes or beliefs that have fueled unkind habits in your marriage. And in the name of Jesus, break any spirit, soul or body agreements with meanness. Eliminate all traces of it from your behavior and speech.

Make an official declaration of your decision to uproot old habits and create new beliefs and attitudes. Prayer will help you establish a great foundation for your new resolve to be kind, and the Holy Spirit will strengthen you to carry out your commitment. Be intentional toward your mate, but also respond to those surprising opportunities to practice kindness that come along every single day.

You and I have a lot of farming to do. Oh, yes, it's work. And yes, it's daily. Some parts of the field will be easy to plow, and some will be harder.

But imagine the increased fruitfulness in your marriage, and in the lives of your children and grandchildren. Feel the hand of Jesus on your shoulder, and see the smile on His face when He will say to you, "Well done!"

So get ready to plow. There is plentiful harvest of eternal joy ahead of you.

 Source: Douglas Weiss

The Two-Fold Hope

TEXT: ISAIAH 9:1-7

Key verse: “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6).

Someone said “Hope is good for breakfast, but bad for dinner”. This is as far as man, mortal man can perceive. But hope in God is not time-bound. It is a confident assurance in Him that He will fulfill what He has promised, even when all hope has been lost.

Previously, Isaiah had shown the adverse effects of false dependence: hardship, hunger, anguish and darkness (Isaiah 8:21-22). The prophet now pictures the darkness fading away as the light of the Lord dawns. This brings joy to the people. The oppressor shall be driven out of the land. All warlike apparatuses shall be destroyed. They shall no longer be required in the new era. A summary of the twofold hope was then given to Israel - redemption at the Messiah’s first coming and restoration of Davidic kingdom at His Second Advent (verses 6,7).

These two verses are pregnant with meaning. The whole destiny of man hangs on them viz: A child (Jesus) is born at Bethlehem. A son (the Saviour) is given at Calvary. These first two comprise the first hope. The right to be the Sovereign of all the earth shall be vested in the Saviour. He, the Saviour, will restore the Davidic kingdom and rule eternally. These last two points are “the second, hope”. Notice however, that the prophets could not see the intervening period that separates the word given in verse six and the rest of the prediction, that is, the Church Age in which we live (Ephesians 3:3-9).

The first hope has already been fulfilled, for the Child has been born and the Son given (crucified). Henceforth, God requires us to apply faith to appropriate the benefits of this fulfilled hope. This qualifies us to be part of the true Church. Do you believe in Jesus? Have you accepted Him as Saviour and Lord and fully repented of your sins? If you are a child of God, you can be rest assured that “the second hope” will be literally fulfilled for God remains the same. Be appropriately positioned though, to fully appropriate all that God has imbedded in Christ.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: God means just what He says.

Coconut Pineapple Cake

INGREDIENTS

·         Filling:

·         ½ cup sugar

·         3 tablespoons cornstarch

·         ¼ teaspoon salt

·         1, 20-ounce can crushed pineapple in juice

·         2 tablespoon unsalted butter

·         Cake:

·         2¾ cups sifted cake flour

·         1 tablespoon plus ¼ teaspoon baking powder

·         ½ teaspoon salt

·         5 large egg whites, at room temperature

·         1¼ cups 100% unsweetened coconut milk (not sweetened cream of coconut)

·  

       13 tablespoons (1 stick plus 5 tablespoons) unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into pieces

·         1¼ cups sugar

·         1½ teaspoons vanilla extract

·         Italian meringue buttercream, vanilla variation

·         3 cups sweetened long-shred coconut

Instructions

1.      For the Filling: Place sugar, cornstarch and salt in a saucepan and whisk to combine. Drizzle a little bit of the juice from the pineapple over the dry mixture and whisk until smooth. Add remaining pineapple and juice. Bring to a boil over medium heat and cook for a couple of minutes, whisking occasionally until thickened and translucent. Whisk in the butter and cool completely. Refrigerate until chilled and firmed or in an airtight container for up to 3 days, if desired.

2.      For the Cake: Preheat oven to 350˚ F. Coat the insides of two 8-inch by 2-inch round cake pans with nonstick spray, line bottoms with parchment rounds, then spray parchment.

3.      Whisk together flour, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl to combine and aerate; set aside. Whisk together the egg whites and milk in a small bowl; set aside.

4.      In a large bowl with an electric mixer on medium-high speed, beat butter until creamy, about 2 minutes. Add the sugar gradually and beat until very light and fluffy, about 3 minutes, scraping down the bowl once or twice. Beat in vanilla.

5.      Add the flour mixture in four additions, alternating with the egg white/milk mixture. Begin and end with the flour mixture and beat briefly until smooth. Divide batter evenly in pans and smooth tops with offset spatula.

6.      Bake for about 30 to 35 minutes or until a toothpick shows a few moist crumbs. The cake will be tinged with light golden brown around the edges and the top and will have begun to come away from the sides of the pan.

7.      Cool pans on racks for about 10 minutes. Unmold, peel off parchment, and place directly on racks to cool completely. Layers are ready to fill and frost. Alternatively, place on layers on cardboards and double wrap in plastic wrap; store at room temperature if assembling within 24 hours.

8.      For the Assembly: Make sure buttercream is ready to go. It should be very soft – almost like mayonnaise. Place bottom layer on an 8-inch cardboard round (it will make covering it with coconut that much easier later on). Fill the cake with the pineapple filling (you might not need all of it, extra is great over ice cream). Frost the cake’s top and sides with the buttercream. Don’t worry if your application job isn’t perfect – you will be covering the whole cake with coconut! See how imperfect it looks when you are still in the midst of it all?

9.      Make sure you have a nice thick layer of buttercream all over (you might still have some leftover, which can be frozen).

10.  Place coconut in a large bowl. Pick up cake (this is where that cardboard round comes in) and hold over bowl. Scoop up coconut with other hand and press generously all over top and sides of cake. Cake is ready to serve. May be refrigerated up to 2 days covered with a cake dome. Make sure to serve at room temperature.

 

By Bakepedia 

When You're Overwhelmed by Your Kids

I know there are days when all of us feel as if we are in over our heads. But when those days arise and courage seems to wilt, remember that God's grace is on you for these moments. He will strengthen you against all odds.

Some of you have always had someone else to rely on. But now you are facing the challenge of raising your children alone.

Are you alone? Not really. You never were. God has been there all the time. And the same God who brought you through all of your earlier challenges is waiting for you to acknowledge Him in your current situation.

Do you know that many of the blessings that are on you will pass to your children? For example, it is a blessing to have wise parents. Wise parents pass their reasoning and mentality to their children. This creates a generational blessing.

We have heard about generational curses, but we ought to understand generational blessings, too. If a drug-filled mother gives birth to a drug-addicted child, then why can't a spiritually regenerated mother have a child who has been blessed by her regeneration?

The favor of God is with you as a parent. His hand is there to bless you if you will trust Him.

God's design is to bring strength out of weakness and power out of pain. I challenge you now to allow Christ to equip you with the tools you need to become what God would have you to be as a single parent.

God's blessings can break out in your life as never before, but it takes faith in God. Faith is having the grace to accept the challenges and the struggles of your course, but doggedly and tenaciously searching for the victory within the victimized.

You are the vessel God has chosen to labor with Him in forming the character of the next generation. You may not live long enough to see all of your fruit, but it will be your teachings, your standards that shape your family for years after you are gone. Do it with dignity and character. It is your contribution to the next age.

No wonder the enemy wants to overwhelm and discourage you. When he gets you, he gets two for the price of one. He affects you and the child in one blow.

Tell the devil no! Tell him he will not get a two-for-one sale here. You will guard with all diligence what God has entrusted to you.

Charge your children with faith and power. They are the future.

Consider this: "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate" (Ps. 127:4-5).

If my children are my arrows, they are my defense. They are my defense against emptiness. They are my defense against building a house that no one will inherit. They are my defense against having no hand to hold when death comes to carry me home. They are my defense against anonymity in the next generation.

You may never be famous, but your children might be. Few would recognize Martin Luther King Jr.'s mother. Few would recognize the names of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis' parents. Even fewer would know Colin Powell's parents. But somewhere behind the curtains, in the shadows of the stage, there is a face, a hand, an apron, a father or a mother who said, "I will raise my bow."

Source: charismamag.com

CLEAN YOUR KIDNEYS WITH CORIANDER LEAVES

Years pass by and our kidneys are filtering the blood by removing salt, poison and any unwanted entering our body. With time, the salt accumulates and this needs to undergo cleaning treatments and how are we going to overcome this?

It is very easy, first take a bunch of parsley or Cilantro ( Coriander Leaves ) and wash it clean.

Then cut it in small pieces and put it in a pot and pour clean water and boil it for ten minutes and let it cool down and then filter it and pour in a clean bottle and keep it inside refrigerator to cool.

Drink one glass daily and you will notice all salt and other accumulated poison coming out of your kidney by urination also you will be able to notice the difference which you never felt before.

Parsley and cilantro (coriander) are known as best cleaning treatment for kidneys and it is natural!

Both have similar impact but Parsley is preferred choice. Difference between Parsely and Cilandro. Parsely doesn't have the smell whereas cilandro (Dhaniya Leaves) Smell. Parsely is used in Salads. Both leaves look similar to each other but by close observation, you can notice both are different.

Keep fit. Stay fit.

My children’s school had their inter-house sports competition last week. When I was younger, I looked forward to 2 things in an inter-house sports: Parents race and teachers’ race. Most times, it’s the mothers who participate. It was always funny to see mothers run against each other, trying real hard to win. The pupils usually had a laugh at school afterwards, talking about how each mom ran! My mom never ran and I was always disappointed.

So this time, I told my hubby and children I was going to run! My daughter was giggly with joy (bless her heart), my hubby said if you don’t win, don’t come home cos I will tease you tirelessly…..Hehehe I therefore went with excitement and determination to win. All through the children’s sporting events, I was restless. It was a very hot day and I was getting sweaty and tired. I kept looking at the time wondering when they would call for the Parents’ race. Finally, the announcement was made – time to show my agility…lol

With a subtle wink at hubby and my daughter cheering me on, I walked towards the start line with several other mothers (as usual, women volunteered first). There were 15 of us and we were all set to run the 100 metres race. When the whistle went off, off I sprinted! Of course I won, leaving a healthy gap between me and the mother who came 2nd place. I did my daughter proud, as she kept screaming “that’s my mummy!” 

I went home happy and satisfied. Next day when I woke up, alarms went off in my body. It felt as though I had been in a plane wreck!!! My legs were hurting real bad and my thighs felt like I had ‘Yokozuna’ sit on them! Imagine! All the joy I felt at winning was kinda shortlived cos I kept saying to myself “Who send me message o” Till today, I still feel the pains in my legs, and na just 100 metres I run o.

I have since realised the importance of keeping fit. Running the race was not a problem because I had the right mindset and I was determined. But I have harmed myself in the process simply because I didn’t do the necessary things needed before such a race. Any runner who doesn’t keep fit will find himself out of steam during or after the race. You see, life is a race and the way you run it is important. Having the right mindset and determination to make it helps you. However, your state of heart before and when running your race matters a lot. You need to be very fit otherwise you will not have the tenacity to finish your race well. And even when you do finish it would be like one scarred.

Hebrews 12:1 - Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us RUN with endurance the race that is set before us, NKJV

Psalm 119:32 - I RUN in the path of Your commands, for you have broadened my understanding NIV

Isaiah 40:31 - But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will RUN and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint NIV

Are you staying fit?

By sis Deby

DON'T LET FEAR HOLD YOU BACK

In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? Psalm 56:11

Through the Holy Spirit's guidance and wisdom, we are capable of achieving the work that the Lord desires for us to accomplish. But fear can cause us to stumble and fail.

For example, fear of criticism will often make us drag our feet and cause us to worry about others' opinions. Instead, we should be placing a priority on pleasing God.

Fear of making mistakes may prevent us from either starting a project or changing our behaviour.

As believers, we must remember that we live the Christian life by depending on God, who promises to provide us with our needs as we obediently follow Him.

Yes, you may make some mistakes along the way but remember that the Lord is your strength.

Fear of having our weaknesses exposed causes us to worry about other people's opinions of us instead of focusing on our strengths.

It's important to stay in God's Word so we can gain a biblical perspective on our fears and think accurately and positively about the future. Remember that God is able to handle your weaknesses.

Instead of hiding them, you can go to the Lord and ask for His help. Doubt is another reason for failure.

Many of us have trouble believing in our God-given abilities, or we question whether we deserve the Lord's plans for our lives.

The antidote to doubt is increased trust in God, which we can gain by meditating on His characteristics and His promises.

God expects us to operate according to His timetable, not our own. So watch out for procrastination, which can derail success.

God promises victory through Jesus Christ. What's holding you back?

Prayer: Thank you Lord, that I can do the things that you have called me to do.

Scriptural Reading: Psalm 56:1-13