The 6 Weakest Excuses Christians Use to End Their Marriages

Ben and Marie (not their real names) have been together for 12 years, and they have three children. Their marriage was never perfect, and their arguments never stopped mainly because they never had enough money to pay their bills. In the end, Marie decided to end the marriage simply because, she claimed, God "told her" to divorce. A few months later, God "told her" to move in with another man.

The church today is full of stories like this. While there are certainly justifiable and biblical reasons for ending a marriage, way too many believers are taking the easy road to divorce and paving the way for others with their bad examples. This has become a special problem in some charismatic circles, because we believe in hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit. Today, it's convenient to blame the Holy Spirit for our bad choices by saying "God told me to do it."

Here are the six most common bad excuses I've heard recently from people who chose the easy road to divorce instead of the narrower path to healing:

1. "We never should have married in the first place." Couples who are in love can make foolish decisions, for sure. Some hurriedly elope without any pre-marital counseling, while others aren't financially ready—so marriage becomes a nightmare of stress and unpaid bills. Once you choose to marry, you must assume the responsibility of adulthood. Grow up and accept the consequences of your choices. If you shirk your responsibility now by bailing out, you will end up running from maturity the rest of your life.

2. "Our families don't get along." I recently learned that a young man who had been married for two years—and gotten his wife pregnant—decided to leave the marriage because his parents never liked his choice for a wife. That's ridiculous. A marriage is not between families—it's a unique relationship between a man and a woman. Genesis 2:24 says a man should "leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife." Married couples who allow parents to control their marriages are headed for disaster.

3. "We've grown apart." This is a classic line, but the accurate translation is: "I'm copping out." It is also an indication that your connection with your spouse is based more on fluffy romantic feelings than a solid covenant commitment. Satan loves to divide—and he will use suspicion, mistrust, anger, bitterness and abusive words to create a toxic environment in your home. Don't give the devil this opportunity (see Eph. 4:27) by listening to his lies. Jesus can reconnect what you've allowed to drift apart.

4. "We argue too much." That's a lame excuse. Many married couples in the Bible had frequent disagreements—including Abraham and Sarah, the father and mother of our faith. Arguing is actually healthier than burying your emotions—as long as you know how to resolve a conflict and let go of anger quickly. If you and your spouse argue constantly, it could be a sign that you don't manage stress well or that one or both of you need some new communication skills. Finding a new spouse will not fix your problem if the problem is you!

5. "Counseling didn't help." I'm a big believer in marriage counseling, and estranged couples should always pursue counseling before calling it quits. But if your marriage has been in trouble for years, three one-hour sessions with a pastor will not fix your problems overnight. Counselors are not magicians. Be patient. If your marriage is in shambles, it will take some time to repair it. It may take months just to clear away the debris before you can rebuild.

6. "God told me to marry someone else." This is the most laughably absurd excuse I've ever heard, but even preachers have used it. One California minister divorced his wife and married another woman within a week because "God said to." It's sad that God gets blamed for such foolishness. If you ever think God is telling you to do something that clearly contradicts the Bible, you are under the influence of a deceiving spirit. Please humble yourself and get help immediately.

If you are having marriage problems, and you think divorce is your only option, stop everything and take a deep breath. Go slow. Before you race to open the escape hatch, or seek to justify your exit, ask God to give you His counsel—and seek help from friends.

While there certainly can be situations where divorce is inevitable, don't assume this is your only option. The Father's love and mercy may surprise you.

J. Lee Grady

Relationship: How to Finally Win the 'Blame Game' in Your Marriage

Chances are you both are responsible for your marriage issues. Now, stay with me here.

My wife and I struggled for years when it came to our marriage issues, especially when it came to God. 

Sunday morning is a great example. We would wake up Sunday and ask if church was on the schedule or not. I'd deflect and ask what time it started. She'd deflect and ask what else was going on that day. In short, we would "excuse" ourselves out of going to church. Then we would lie in bed, not helping our marriage and slowly destroying it. And for what?

As a changed husband looking back, I had to ask myself some hard questions. There may be some hard questions you need to be asking in your marriage too. How could I have approached situations differently? Was I really being the spiritual leader? Was I really loving my wife by giving in to laziness and fear?

What questions require honest answers in your marriage?

Let's look at a few more scenarios ...

You want to lead in your marriage, but instead of getting or asking for help, you hope the regular Sunday morning message at church will hold the answers you seek. Maybe.

So things are really rough in your marriage, and the only thing you do is pray. I am a firm believer in prayer, but I also believe that God has given certain people specific tools to use and help marriages grow. Don't stop praying, but get off your butt and get some help from a counselor, mentor or pastor.

Say you're dating this wonderful girl, and you're thinking about marriage. That's great, but the problem is you live together and continue to have sex. Who's fault is it? I'll say it's both partners' fault. My advice to the men is to step up and stop. Don't wait for her to stop, be honest with her and let her know your heart. Wait for marriage. Trust me, it's possible and it's worth it.

So how can you lead? How can you stop blaming your spouse for all the issues and start taking responsibility in an effective and safe way?

Here are 5 questions you need to ask yourself:

1. Am I honestly doing everything I can to lead?

2. Have I communicated my feelings honestly to my spouse?

3. Have I honestly been praying about the situation on a daily basis and seeking God's direction (not your own).

4. Have I honestly and maturely discussed the situation with a church elder,  pastor, a friend, a mentor or a marriage counselor?

5. How long have I been passing the blame onto my spouse, when the issue is really mine to take care of? 

Carefully consider the questions above and start making big changes in your marriage or relationship today! That's right, don't wait any longer!

Have you experienced this in your marriage or relationship? What are some ways you and your spouse effectively communicate with each other and throw water down on the blame-game fire?

Manturity

PUT YOUR TRUST IN GOD ALONE

It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the LORD than to put your confidence in princes. - Psalms 118:8-9

The electrical power of a hotel was interrupted resulting in the elevator stopping between floors with passengers aboard.

One of the passengers on the elevator began to beat on the door and to shout for the people in the hallway above to do something quickly to get him out.

One of the people in the hallway attempted to calm the stranded passenger with the assurance that help would soon arrive.

He shouted, “The hotel has a generator system to back up the power.

The maintenance man will soon have the power restored to the building and the elevator will be opened”.

Then the anxious passenger shouted back, “But I am the maintenance man!”

Sometimes, we trust in people to solve our problems when the people themselves are trapped in their own problems.

On the outward, they may appear very competent and capable but in private, they could just be people of straw who are incapable of solving their own problems.

God desires that we trust Him totally in all areas of our lives. Yes, we will have to deal with people in all human activities but we must not make them the object of our trust and hope.

Even though people can the best intentions for us, we must always remember that they are just humans and limited in what they can do for us. We express our confidence in the Lord by:

• Going to Him in prayers constantly.

• Believing His promises without wavering.

• Trusting in His timing and purposes

Prayer: O Lord, in you alone I put my trust, for my help comes from you alone.

Scriptural Reading: Psalms 118:1-9

Recipe: Piñata Cake Recipe

Imagine cutting open a cake and finding your favourite chocolates or berries tumbling out.....

Cakes:
·         225g (8 oz) self raising flour
·         1 level teaspoon baking powder
·         225g (8 oz) Stork tub
·         225g (8 oz) caster sugar
·         4 medium eggs
·         1 tablespoon cocoa powder, dissolved in 2 tablespoons water
·         Red paste colouring and 1 tablespoon cocoa powder
·         Pink gel food colouring
 
Filling:
·         225g (8 oz) icing sugar
·         85g (3 oz) Stork
·         1-2 tablespoons milk
·         1 teaspoon vanilla extract
 
Decoration:
Sweets of your choice
 
1.       Sift the flour and baking powder into a large mixing bowl, add the remaining cake ingredients except for last 3 ingredients and beat with a wooden spoon until smooth.

2.       Divide mix between 3 bowls and mix in cocoa powder and water to one bowl, red colouring and cocoa to the second and a few drops of pink colouring to the third. Spoon the mixtures into 3 greased and base lined 18cm (7 inch) cake tins.

3.       Bake in a preheated oven at 180°C, 160°C fan oven, Gas 4 for 25-30 minutes or until cooked. Turn out on to a wire tray to cool.

4.       Place all the icing ingredients in a bowl and mix well until smooth. 

5.       To create the cavity for the sweets, carefully cut out a round in the centre cake and if you wish the hole to be bigger, carve out slight hollows on the top of one cake and the base of the cake which will be the top.

6.       Place a little icing on the base cake and add the middle cake. Fill the hole with the sweets and then ice the middle layer and finish with the top cake.

7.       Use remaining icing to cover the cake. If wished, add either some food colouring or cocoa powder to a quarter of the icing and place in a icing bag fitted with a star nozzle. Place the coloured icing on one side of the bag and the plain on the rest so that when you pipe, you achieve a 2 tone look.
source: uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com

20 Unusual Uses for Bananas

1. Shoe Polish : Banana peel works great as a shoe polish. Just rub it on your shoes and buff it with a white cloth.

2.Teeth Whitener :Bananas can be used to whiten teeth. You just have to rub the inside portion of its peel on your teeth. It contains magnesium, potassium and manganese which help to whiten your teeth.

3. Face Mask : Banana can be used as a natural face mask to make your skin smoother and softer. Mash the banana into a paste and apply it on your face. Let it sit for 15-20 minutes, and then rinse off with cold water.

4. Brighten up Houseplants : Wipe the leaves of your plants, which are getting dusty, with the peel of a banana. This will clean the entire gunk on the surface of leaves and make them shinier.

5. Face Scrub : Banana works really well as face scrub. Mix the smashed banana with a tbsp of sugar and make a paste. Then scrub your face with it and feel the difference.

6. Foot care : Pulp of two ripe bananas can repair your cracked heels. Apply the paste and let it dry for few minutes. Then rinse your feet.

7. Hair Loss Therapy : Mix banana with yogurt and apply the paste on your scalp to treat hair loss. Let it dry and rinse it off with cool water.

8. Butterfly Charmer : Instead of throwing away the overripe bananas, make use of them. Place the blackened bananas on the raised platform in your yard to attract the butterflies and birds.

9. Deter Aphids : To deter the aphids, bury the dried or waste banana peels a few inches deep around the base of your aphid-prone plants.

10. Treat Acne : Rub the banana peels on your acne and get rid of them.

11. Stress Relief : Drinking boiled banana peel water helps to de-stress yourself.

12. Wart Cure : You can cure your wart with the help of banana peels in 1-2 weeks.

13. Meat Tenderizer : By adding banana peel to your roast beef, chicken or even veggies, you can avoid your roast from getting dry and it will add an appropriate amount of moisture to it.

14. Itch Soother : Banana peels help to soothe the rashes, bugs bites and poison ivy.

15. Splinter Remover : Banana peels help to ease the splinter out of the skin! You only need to place them on the splinter with an athletic tape for a short time and then try to take the splinter out.

16. Bruise Patrol : By rubbing the banana peels on any bruise you can make it disappear faster.

17. Compost : Banana peels add great nutrients to your soil. Therefore, throw them into your compost and make your plants grow better.

18. Beauty Sleep : Eating bananas few hours before you go to your bed will help you get the required beauty sleep and make your skin healthy.

19. Ointment : Rubbing banana peel from inside on the scrapped knees will help them heal sooner.

20. Banana Peel Message : Leave a message for your kids on their banana peel by pricking out letters with a toothpick, the skin will bruise and there will be a dark brown message by lunchtime.

Prayer for new week

Your life will be defined by God's grace. Where many struggle, you will have ease. The blessings of Abraham are continuously manifested in you. Go out and do exploits in Jesus name. God will give you unusual wisdom. It will distinguish you among your contemporaries. It will bring wealth, favour and direction for your divine assignment in Jesus.J

Happy New Week from us ASB-World. 

 

Relationship & Health: How to talk to your daughter about her body

How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don't talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.

Don't say anything if she's lost weight. Don't say anything if she's gained weight.

If you think your daughter's body looks amazing, don't say that. Here are some things you can say instead:

"You look so healthy!" is a great one.

Or how about, "You're looking so strong."

"I can see how happy you are -- you're glowing."

Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.

Don't comment on other women's bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.

Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.

Don't you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don't go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don't say, "I'm not eating carbs right now." Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.

Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that's a good thing sometimes.

Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you'll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn't absolutely in love with.

Prove to your daughter that women don't need men to move their furniture.

Teach your daughter how to cook kale.

Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.

Pass on your own mom's recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.

Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It's easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don't. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.

Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.

source:huffingtonpost.com