Relationsip: 8 Things You’re Doing for Women Other Than Your Wife

"Is it possible that I could be doing certain things for the women I encounter each day, but I'm not

doing them for my wife?"

The short answer is YES, but let's talk more about the reasons why this might be happening.

You don't need to read this article to know that marriage relationships are typically very strong at the beginning. The feeling of fresh love is in the air, the desire for intimacy is strong and the overall feelings from each spouse are mutual.

That's old news for most of us.

But here's where it gets interesting. Here's where the true challenge comes up in marriage. Ready?

Time. As time passes, things happen, stories unfold and the relationship takes its hits. Most couples can expect this, but few know what's actually happening or, worse, how to resolve it.

Here are 3 reasons why men start to take a back seat in their marriage and forget what is most important:

1. Routine. Routines in marriage are going to happen. It's inevitable. But the couples that are aware of it are the ones who have the best chance of survival. As time goes on and routines take more and more shape, it's important to not forget what is important to each spouse and take action in those areas often.

2. Assumptions. We all know the saying about assumptions, so I won't go there, but it does hold true. Newly married couples love to do wonderful things for their spouse, but after a few years, those things tend to fade.

Assumptions are different than routines. An assumption means you know what would be nice to do for your spouse and then assume they don't need it. Or assume that doing it last week was enough. What we need to do is assume that the love tank is always going dry and therefore always needs to be filled up!

3. A rough past. Rough circumstances in a marriage can be the worst effect of all. Routines can be adjusted, assumptions can take place because of a lack of understanding or communication, but a rough past can put a large "STOP" sign in front of any nice gestures to your spouse.

In other words, you know what your spouse needs, but you refuse to give it to them. Too many past issues have come up and too many are unresolved.

All of these scenarios can be resolved, but they can have some major negative effects in the meantime. One of the worst effects is doing things for other women that you won't do for your wife anymore, either by choice or simple neglect.

Because of the issues mentioned above, here are 8 things you might be doing for women other than your wife:

Let me also insert here that doing these things for other women is not wrong, because we should always strive to be respectful to all women. The issue is when you are treating other women better than you are treating your wife. Your wife should be getting this kind of treatment first and foremost.

1. Holding the door open. You may call it old-school or cliche, but holding the door open for your wife will mean a lot to her. Don't just step up when you see a stranger coming or a co-worker in need; make sure your wife gets even better treatment.

2. Thanking them for their help or services. It might be easy to thank the nice woman at the checkout line or even affirm a co-worker for their help, but your wife also needs to know her help is noticed and appreciated! Pay attention to what your wife does for you and speak up in thankfulness more often.

3. Valuing their choices and opinions. You may not always agree with your wife's choices or opinions, but as her husband, you need to take more effort in understanding why she might be making those decisions. Think about some recent conversations with other women. We're you more likely to agree or disagree with them? Be honest.

4. Admiring their beauty. When you are away from your wife, are you able to keep your eyes and heart in check? When you see an attractive woman, are you more likely to look away or look in places that you shouldn't? Those answers are for you, but I want you to consider why you don't look at your wife that way. Why isn't she your standard? Make her your standard of physical and emotional beauty, and you might have an easier time when you're not around her.

5. Thinking before you speak. When I'm at work and I need to approach a woman, I tend to think about my choice of words before I speak. And not only that, but I tend to choose my words more carefully during conversation. Is this the case with your wife? Strive to be a mature husband who thinks before he speaks.

6. Honestly listening. Staying in line with No. 5, listening skills are a must for a great marriage. Think about the last time you were with friends. Were you more likely to be rude and not engage in listening to the conversations? Or were you listening intently so that you would be part of the group. Well, make sure your wife is part of the group. Make sure you are paying attention to her words and responding to them, and not just waiting for your turn to talk.

7. Smiling. Yes, smiling. Around friends or even co-workers, I can find myself keeping a consistent smile on my face. Not to look weird, but to make the other person feel welcomed and comfortable. Do you do this around your wife? Think about keeping a smile on your face the next time you have a regular conversation with her. When she asks why you're smiling, tell her how much you love her!

8. Having fun. If I happen to be in a situation where I start running into the same woman day after day or week after week, I can start to get comfortable with her. Even if I don't know her, it becomes easy to say hi and then add some little jokes here or there. It seems harmless, but it starts to matter if you're doing it for them and not your wife. A good marriage can handle a little bit of joking and teasing (within reason). Have fun with your wife again this week.

Dig deep and make sure you are not treating other women better than your wife. Make sure your wife is getting the attention she needs from you. Take action this week.

Question: Which one of these steps do you need to take action on in your own marriage today?

source: Manturity

Self Appraisal

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone.

He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone number).

The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

Boy : "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?

Woman : (at the other end of the phone line) "I already have someone to cut my lawn."

Boy : "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now."

Woman : I'm very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.

Boy : (with more perseverance) "Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so, on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida ."

Woman : No, thank you.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.

Store Owner : "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."

Boy : "No thanks,

Store Owner : But you were really pleading for one.

Boy : No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!"

This is what we call "Self Appraisal"....!!

Reflection:

Self appraisal or evaluation is important at any stage in your life. In today’s world, most organizations use self appraisal for any project and services they have in place.

It is an important part of being committed to lifelong learning – the understanding that you will never complete your learning journey and grab every opportunity to learn new skills.

More and more workplaces now encourage their staff to be committed to lifelong learning, offering learning skills through formal and informal pathways.

Some of the questions you could, for example, ask yourself practically are:

• How much effort did you put into the assignment and how long did it take you?

• Where do you think you did very well and where do you think you could do better?

• What could you do to improve?

• What are the most important things you have learned from the assignment?

Inspirational Quotes by Dr. Myles Munroe (RIP).

• “The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but a life without a purpose.”

• “Solid character will reflect itself in consistent behavior, while poor character will seek to hide behind deceptive words and actions.”

• “Healthy relationships should always begin at the spiritual and intellectual levels - the levels of purpose, motivation, interests, dreams, and personality.”

• People generally fall into one of three groups: the few who make things happen, the many who watch things happen, and the overwhelming majority who has no notion of what happens. Every person is either a creator of fact or a creature of circumstance. He either puts color into his environment, or, like a chameleon, takes color from his environment.”

• When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable”

• “A wedding is an event, but marriage is a life.”

• We are a sum total of what we have learned from all who have taught us, both great and small.”

• “You must decide if you are going to rob the world or bless it with the rich, valuable, potent, untapped resources locked away within you.”

• The poorest man in the world is a man without a dream.

• The graveyard is the richest place on the surface of the earth because there you will see the books that were not published, ideas that were not harnessed, songs that were not sung, and drama pieces that were never acted.

• Circumstances and crises are God's tools to move you into your purpose and the maximizing of your potential.

• Your ability is your responsibility.

• Blessings are never given solely for the benefit of the one who receives them.

• When you have two totally opposite and separate visions within one home, what you really have is division, which leads to divorce.

• Crises are life's wake up call.

• Retirement is never a concept in the minds of world changer.

• The real you is the work you are born to do.

The Famous Preacher Dr. Myles Munroe, Wife and Daughter Killed in Airplane Crash

Dr. Myles Munroe, internationally-known author, bible teacher, governmental consultant and
leadership mentor, was one of nine passengers on a plane that crashed in Grand Bahama on Sunday afternoon, according to multiple news reports.

A Lear 36 executive jet left the Lynden Pindling International Airport (LPIA) for the Grand Bahama International Airport, the Department of Civil Aviation reports. The plane departed at 4:07 p.m. and carried nine people. The vessel crashed while making its landing approach, the Department of Civil Aviation said. 

News reports indicate his wife, Ruth, and daughter were also killed in the crash.

Myles Munroe's ministry was not immediately available for comment.Our prayer is that the Holy Spirit will comfort the family, church member, friends and loved one. God's grace is Sufficient.

Sleep! sleep!!

I've been attending vigil in church for some days now. Earlier this morning around 3am, I struggled to write today's devotion, it was a big battle between the desire to write and the need to sleep. Sleep had a landslide victory, lol. Just before drifting into snooze land, I was still asking my 24hr friend what he wants us to know today and the reply came, SLEEP. I grinned and thought, 'Because I'm sleepy?'. Immediately I searched the scripture mentally and came up with the portion that pertains to sleep. I remembered Bro Eutychus the sleeper, then allowed myself to sleep. 

Opening the scripture now, I learnt some things in this very short incidence. First, the brethren were gathered in the upper chamber, which we can take as advanced or matured discipleship. Anyone who was present there wasn't one whom they were just trying to convert. Paul came to preach to them before he continued on his journey. Therefore, here we have an involved Christian. Secondly, Paul preached to them for long. His preaching was termed long. 

Do you have people you are spiritually custodian over? Are you unnecessarily laborious in preaching, exhorting, encouraging, reprimanding, even praising? This story tells us not to overdo things, as we may have an opposite effect of what we desired or intended. Thirdly, there were many lights in the upper chamber, ordinarily, with that place so lit up, Bro Eutychus ought not to have found it easy to sleep and then if at all, not such deep sleep as he was reported of. When we complain of people who are supposedly Christians, attending sound Bible believing churches and yet behaving contrary to expectations, we see now that not only is it not a first, but a possibility, and also a stage in a process being managed by the devil to achieve a sinister goal. Also, how did he manage to fall into such deep sleep and no one noticed? It is not enough to just keep banging the bible, theories and laws, are you watching the overall effect on your audience? 

Do you see the weary, tired, hungry, needy? Do you try to wake them, attend to their needs? Imagine the height this brother fell from! The third floor! There is no security in your position, advancement in the kingdom. Anyone can fall asleep, move to deep sleep, and then fall from a great height! Do you see the process? Do you see it doesn't start from the fall? Do you now know why it is only when Christians fall that people discover what they've been up to? Do you see that you are mainly responsible to keep awake in Christ? There is only so much spiritual authority can do to help you stay awake. The onus remains with you to actually keep 'waking'. Now we see that before physical death, is spiritual death. All the time he was sleeping, he was spiritually dead only that people did not know because he was still present in the physical. He took the tumble that led to his physical death. As it is with our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, God used Paul to bring him back to life. 

Again, we learn that as long as Rapture hasn't taken place and there is still life in a person, God can still restore that person back to 'Life'. I end my scripture discovery with this nursery rhyme for us
Are you sleeping
Are you sleeping
Sister Angelina
Sister Angelina
Morning bells are ringing
Morning bells are ringing
Ding ding dong
Ding ding dong. 
Even the rhyme does not ask 'Is she sleeping', it asks the sleeper the question. Keeping awake is your responsibility not that of your pastor.
Acts 20:7-12
Source: Oludunni

How to Talk to Your Son and Daughter About Pornography

Pornography is a powerful threat to our sons and daughters. It skews their view of sex, love, women

and relationships.

Obviously when many of us were younger, access to graphic sexual images was not as easy to come by as it is today. A magazine belonging to friend's dad or a movie on late-night cable TV was our most common exposure. Even in those seemingly more innocent days, there were things I saw at a friend's house at an early age that were confusing. Quite frankly, they were damaging.

It felt wrong, but, fearing I'd get in trouble, I never told my dad what I had seen. I wish I had. With a palpable feeling of guilt, I was left on my own to try and figure it out. My dad didn't have porn in our house, so naturally, he assumed I hadn't been exposed to it.

Things are so different now. Having the Internet on so many devices inside and outside the house means the barbarians are perpetually at the gate.

We can be more vigilant and protective about what our children see. However, we can sadly assume that our sons will be exposed to it at some point. Maybe the silver lining in that assumption is that they will not be left alone in processing it. The best way to fight it is to prepare them for pornography expose the ugly reality of it and its many dangers. It may be difficult, but here are 3 points on how to talk to your son about pornography:

1. A momentary thrill leading to dissatisfaction, emptiness and addiction. An explicit image is stimulating and causes a scientifically-proven chemical release in the brain. That is why we are drawn to it like to the ring in Lord of the Rings.

However, when the viewing is over, we are left empty, unsatisfied and full of guilt. Our conscience is telling us that something wrong has taken place. Sex is not wrong. Sex outside of the right context is wrong or, at the very least, not what it was made to be.

The quickest way to deal with those feelings is to try and get another thrill, but when we return to porn, it gives a diminishing return of enjoyment. In the end, we need more to experience less, resulting in addiction and chains. In other words, it is a road to an addictive prison cell. Don't be enticed down this road; choose the path that is life-giving.

2. Living in isolated fantasy versus living in connected reality. A full life is found in relationships and shared experiences. Those things are built in reality, not fantasy. Porn is about entering a fantasy world. The more time we spend in that world, the more we become isolated.

In essence, our soul becomes intertwined with something that isn't real. There's no connection, just loneliness exacerbated by guilt. When we fill our lives with nothing, we are left with nothing. Porn doesn't provide anything; it takes everything. Strong men of character are ones that are firmly founded in reality and relationships. Live in the real world.

3. An example of diminished, one-dimensional sex. One of the biggest and most dangerous of all lies is that porn stars know how to have the best sex. Great sex is experienced when two people know one another in emotional and physical intimacy. True intimacy and knowledge of one another comes in commitment.

When women know we are committed, we create an environment where they feel safe to share their whole selves with us. It's a multidimensional connection, like a high wattage of electricity. Porn turns sex into mere physical acts. It is one-dimensional sex and will always fall short of what it could be.

In fact, it even falls short physically. We are all uniquely made. Personalities and bodies respond differently. Sex for a committed couple that continues to grow closer in love and knowledge of one another will continually get more passionate. It's like becoming an expert at playing an instrument.

A guitar is held and played much differently than a violin. The best sex is between a committed couple who has learned well how the other desires to be loved. Glorified actors who are actually deeply degraded and hurting people will never be able to come close to sex that good.

Sound off: What age do you think it is appropriate to talk to a boy about pornography?

Huddle up with your kids and ask, "Is there anything you've ever seen that was confusing that you would like me to explain?"
Source: charismamag.com

SERVE YOUR WAY TO THE TOP

For who is greater, he who sits at the tables, or he who serves? Is it not he who sits at the table? Yet, I among you as the One who serves. - Luke 22: 27

Service is at the heart of every call of God. God does not call us to be bosses; He calls us to do His will by serving the people He places in our care.

When we serve, we allow God to use what He has given us to touch other people's life.

The problem is, many of us have a negative, stereotypical image of what a servant is. We equate service with slavery and servitude.

We think the role of the servant is degrading and something that puts us down instead of it being something that lifts us up.

We associate servants with low achievers. As a result, when the Bible calls us to service, we immediately see it as a call to take a step downwards instead of a step upwards.

The reality is that to go up, we must go down. Before a tree shoots up, it has to go down with its roots.Without deep roots, a tree cannot go high enough and still remain standing.

A high -rise building must have deep foundations in order to go up high. The depth determines the heights. That is what service is all about.

When we serve, we build the foundation for the heights that God has called us to.

Until we are ready to serve in humility, we cannot reach out to the high calling of God for our lives.

Many of us may never be able to reach the high calling of God for our lives because we are not ready to really serve with humility.

Prayer: Teach me O Lord, not to despise any service that You call me to offer

Scriptural Reading: Luke 22:24-30.