Parent: Be the Change You Want to See in Your Kids

Sometimes my kids drive me crazy. They are too negative, too cranky, and too quick to point out ways their siblings fall short. They get frustrated with the puppy and they don't often pick up after themselves.

One day, as I was going through a list of all the ways my kids were falling short, God pointed my finger back at me. It's easy to tell my kids what to do. It's harder to model what needs to be done. It's easy to tell my kids to be nice, be kind, while at the same time having a stinky attitude. It's easy to be picky with my kids, yet offer myself grace.

I am negative, cranky, and I don't always pick up after myself ... yet I expect so much more from my kids! Hmm... Deep down, I know that this parenting style won't get any of us very far.

If I want my kids to change, it all starts with me.

I have to model kindness and gentleness.
I have to clean up after myself.
I have to pray, asking God to help me and help them.
I have to be patient with the puppy! (Even when she chews up my books!)

So how does real change—in you and your kids—happen? Where do we start?

• Write down your kids' weaknesses. Then ask yourself, "Which ones are my own?" Seek God. Ask Him to show you the core issues that need to be rooted out. Pray for God's wisdom and grace.
• Realize your change isn't up to you alone. Romans 12:1-2 says, "So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him ... fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out" (The Message). When you give everything you do to God, then He has the chance to work!
• Confess your weaknesses to your kids. Point out areas that you struggle. Ask your children to pray for you, too. I don't know why we parents pretend to be perfect. It's obvious to our kids that we're not!
• Be grateful for small changes. Praise your kids for every small step they take toward change. The more praise, the more kids are encouraged. It's amazing how well this works.
• Rejoice in your changes, too. Tell your husband or a cherished friend about the changes you are making. Ask that person to rejoice with you.
• Don't stop with easy, outward fixes. Even as change comes, don't be content with being "good enough." I often pray Psalms 139:23-34, "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (NIV). God knows our hearts best. He knows us the inner issues that are hurting us more than we think. He knows how these will impact our kids. Allow God to reveal deep flaws that you might not even be aware of and turn to Him for healing. The changes you make will forever impact your children. When you are healed, you'll be able to offer guidance to them. Don't let your unwillingness to allow God to work negatively impact your children. God can help you to change, but it must start with, "Lord, I am willing."

As you turn to God for change in yourself, you'll be amazed how much your kids will change, too. Children do what we do, not what we say. When we do all we can for the glory of God they'll learn to do that, too!

Tricia Goyer

LEAVING AND CLEAVING

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24

The objective God has in bringing a man and a woman together can captured in two very important words: Leave and cleave.

The King James Version say "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

The word "cleave" means to glue or to cling. So to leave and cleave is to sever and bond, to loosen and secure, or to depart from and attach to.

A successful marriage begins with leaving. In effect, you leave all other relationships.

The closest relationship outside of marriage is specified in Genesis 2:2.4, implying that if it is necessary to leave your father and mother, then certainly all lesser ties must be broken, changed, or left behind.

This doesn't mean that when you get married, you are no longer a son or a daughter or a sibling.

But what it does mean is that you have a new, primary responsibility, and that is to your spouse.

You must still honour your mother and father, but leaving has taken place.

Leaving implies giving other relationships a lesser degree of importance. You still can have friends, but your best friend should be your spouse.

Having members of the opposite sex as friends can be problematic at best, and potentially, destructive at worse.

Most adultery happens through close contact and relationship, not mere sexual attraction. So be very careful. Your best friend should be your husband or your wife.

In Malachi 2:14, God said of the relationship between a husband and his wife, "Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant."

The word "companion" used here means someone united with another in thoughts, goals, plans, and efforts.

Are you united with your spouse in this way?

Prayer: Bring all marriages before God, and ask Him to bless them with peace, joy, and prosperity.

Scriptural Reading: Genesis 2:24

Why I Don't Tell My Children About Santa, Hmmm !

It's not that I have something against the friendly, old guy with the red suit and reindeer. I like his belly laugh and think it's cute that he has a perpetual twinkle in his eyes. Even so, my husband and I have decided to ban Santa from the Christmas activities at our house. 

Before I get to the whys of our decision not to include Santa at Christmas, let me get this off my chest. Santa is not a doctrinal issue. Santa isn't even an issue that defines good parents or good Christians. Lots of people I know who love the Lord and love their kids tell their children about Santa. And to my knowledge no one has been scarred for life by the fairy tale of Santa and his eight tiny reindeer. 

I'd just like to start a conversation about the reasons why I've decided the story of Santa is best untold to the little ears on my watch. Here are the reasons we've opted not to tell our children about Santa. 

• We want them to understand what happened in the manger as clearly as possible.  

Noel Piper wrote a great blog about her own decision not to tell her children about Santa. Her logic helped me crystallize my own reasons for leaving Santa out of our Christmas conversations. She writes: 

"We want our children to understand God as fully as they are able at whatever age they are. So we try to avoid anything that would delay or distort that understanding. It seems to us that celebrating with a mixture of Santa andmanger will postpone a child's clear understanding of what the real truth of God is. It's very difficult for a young child to pick through a marble cake of part-truth and part imagination to find the crumbs of reality." 

• Santa has some God-like characteristics.

"He sees you when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake." In other words, Santa is omnipresent and omniscient—he sees everything and knows everything. In reality, these are characteristics reserved only for God. 

When pressed about our reasons for not teaching our kids about Santa, my wise husband usually says something like this: 

"We don't think they can understand the difference when we say, there is an Easter bunny who brings you presents if you're good, but he's not real. There is a tooth fairy who knows when you are sleeping and brings you money if you lose a tooth, but she's not real. There is a Santa who brings you gifts if you are good, but he's not real. And there is a Jesus who is always watching you and wants to give you good things, but He is real." 

It just seems plain ole' confusing to ascribe attributes of God to fictional characters and then have to explain the difference between those characters and a living God some day. 

• Santa is soft on sin.  

No one actually gets a lump of coal for Christmas. It doesn't matter how bad my children behave, there will always be gifts under the tree. I think it might be confusing to them to hear that Santa is keeping a list of their rights and wrongs, but there won't really be any consequences for their sin. Also, that long list of naughties and niceties doesn't really speak much to the gift of grace. Especially since Santa always checks the list twice. 

• We want our kids to know where presents come from.  

Our gifts are already under the tree. Our kids know that we bought them, we wrapped them, and we can't wait to give them to them! They understand that those gifts cost money out of our pockets. It's not that I want to hold over their heads the financial sacrifices that come with giving gifts to them, but I do want them to be grateful, both to us as their parents, and to God who provides us with jobs so we can have money to buy gifts. Santa has a whole city full of elves making gifts all year long. Those gifts don't cost anybody anything. I think that makes them easier to disregard and be ungrateful for. 

• Because of the baby in the manger.  

The most important reason we have opted not to include Santa in our Christmas is because it isn't about him. It's about Immanuel—God with us! I know there are many other good things that creep into our holiday celebrations such as time with family, good food, and gifts, but I don't want anything to distract my kids from the wonder of the King who came to earth to die for their sins. It's not worth taking the risk of allowing a fella as jovial and generous as Santa to do just that. 

What about you? What will you do to keep your family focused on Jesus this Christmas?

Source:charismamag.com

ECHOING IN ETERNITY

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. 2 Corinthians 5:10

In the film, Gladiator, Maximus Decimus Meridius, leading his troops into battle, declared, "What we do in life echoes in eternity."

That is a true statement. What we do in life echoes in eternity. We act as though everything that can be done must be done during our life on earth, and we must do all that we can with our time, abilities, and resources.

There is a great element of truth to that, because we certainly don't want to waste our lives.

And when life is cut short or hindered by a disability or an illness, when a child—or a young man or a young woman dies, it is a big loss.

Each life should be lived to the full to the glory of God. But there are people who live wicked lives, who do nothing with what God has given them and opposed God in every way—even doing damage with their lives.

Those who live godless and selfish lives are considered blessed in our present society.

The end now justifies the means. They say to themselves, 'let's eat and drink, tomorrow we die."

Why do we think that way? Because we think all that will happen will happen in this life, and then it is over.

But that is not what the Bible teaches. The Bible teaches that life goes on, and God will judge our every action.

We must remember that death is not the end of life but a continuation of it in eternity.

We will appear before the judgment seat of God, and each of us will be rewarded according to our works.

Whatever sacrifices you are making for God's kingdom will be made up to you.

God will not be your debtor. I am completely confident that on that final day, you will recognize that it was worth it all.

Prayer: Lord, help me to live for eternity.

Scriptural Reading: 2 Corinthians 5:1-11

Prayer for new week

There shall be no more afflictions, there shall be no tragedy. You shall not die young; the God of Heaven will give you long life, prosperity, and good days to enjoy His blessings in your life in Jesus mighty name. 

Receive supernatural favour to accomplish what you've started.  May you and your household experience angelic visitation in Jesus name, 

Happy New Week from us ASB-World.

JUST MOVING AWAY

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?" John 11:25-26

Everyone is immortal. Everyone lives forever. Whether you are a Christian or an agnostic or an atheist, you live forever.

Every Buddhist, every Hindu, and every Muslim lives forever. Every person lives forever. We won't stop existing. But the question is, where will we live forever?

Let's say that I bought you a one-way plane ticket and told you, "I am going to send you off on a journey next week."

You get excited and start packing your bags. But before you get excited, the thing you need to be asking me is, "What is the destination for this one-way plane fare?"

If the destination is Siberia, don't be too excited. But if the destination is Los Angeles, then get excited.

In the same way, the issue is not whether we will live forever as much as it is where we will live forever. And according to the Bible, there are only two options: heaven or hell.

When you put your faith in Jesus Christ, you go to heaven. And in a sense, you don't die. Jesus said. I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die".

I am not in denial. I understand that the body breaks down and sometimes shuts down quickly—unexpectedly, even. I understand that when we die, we are placed in a grave. But I know that in another sense, we don't die.

General MacArthur, in his famous televised speech in April 1951, stated, "Old soldiers never die; they just fade away."

Well, we could also say, "Old Christians never die; they just move away." And where do they move? They move away to heaven.

Prayer: Because of my faith in you, O Lord, I know I have passed from death to life.

Scriptural Reading: John 11:25-26

MOVE WITH COMPASSION

For out of much affliction and anguish of heart 1 wrote to you, with many tears, not that you should be grieved, but that you might know the love which I have so abundantly for you. 2 Corinthians 2:4

Even before Titanic arrived on the big screen in 1997, people have been fascinated by its story, perhaps because there is so much to it.

Clearly, many mistakes were made that led to its sinking. Although it was called the unsinkable ship, it sank. And it sank relatively easily.
We know that 1,500 people perished in an icy grave. We know there were not enough lifeboats on board.

We know that many of them went out half-full, some with only four or five people when they had the capacity to carry at least 60.

But one of the greatest tragedies about the Titanic is the fact that while there was room in the lifeboats, no one went back to save anyone else. They had rowed out a distance from the sinking vessel because they were afraid of its suction.

Survivors said they could hear the screams of the people as the Titanic finally disappeared below the surface.

Here were people in lifeboats that had room. They could have rowed back and pulled others in. Yet they did nothing about it.

They waited for about an hour, and then they went back. By then, they were only able to save a handful of people. They waited until it was too late.

Right now, there is a lost world around us. People are going down, and we have room in our lifeboat. Do we care enough to go and pull them on board?

Do we care enough to do something for them?

Prayer: Lord, touch my heart to touch the world with the good news of Your Kingdom.

Scriptural Reading: 2 Corinthians 2:1-11