Some Ways to Mend Trust in a Relationship

Many relationship struggle tremendously because trust in their marriage/relationship has been breached.

People want to know how what needs to occur to have the foundation of trust restored in their relationship. While I'll specifically be addressing this issue in the context of marriage, the principles apply to all relationships.

Before a couple can start restoring trust in their marriage, there needs to be an admission of wrongdoing by the offending spouse, a sincere request for forgiveness and granting of forgiveness by the offended mate. I've addressed those issue in my past blogs on giving forgiveness and two personal stories for forgiveness: Corrie ten Boom and the family of Ed Thomas.

Do you need to rebuild trust in your relationship? If so, there are a few things you need to know.

First, notice that the word "rebuild" implies that a relationship has been torn down and needs to be established once again. Something you said or didn't say, did or didn't do to your spouse, child, relative or friend has adversely impacted your relationship with them.

Second, trust is not something that anyone owes you.  Trust must be earned. That means that you need to provide something to the other person in order for them to trust you once again. It is not something you just do one time, but rather need to display them consistently, day in and day out, over a period of time.

Third, in order to trust you, the other person must have complete confidence that from this day forward:

1. You are who you say you are. Your spouse needs to know that you are genuine and authentic...that you are the real deal. Whether you are with your family, friends or coworkers, your spouse needs to see that you are the same person wherever you are and whoever you are with. They need to see you living a consistent life. Your spouse needs to know that you are rock solid, not a person whose personality or behavior is constantly shifting.

Also, when you and your spouse got married, you promised to be there for each other "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health...till death us do part." You also committed to become "one flesh." That means the other person should be able to rely upon those promises—that you will not tear the marriage apart and that you will be there, as their husband or wife, no matter what happens.

2. You will always speak the truth. There are no such things as "little white lies" or "half truths." What you say is either true or it is not. Let me illustrate. If your wife asks you something simple like, "What have you been doing?" Don't just say, "Mowing the lawn." If you have also been watching television and checking emails, say so. Remember: Truth is the whole truth. To rebuild trust, speak truth in everything, big and small. Doing so will help build the other person's confidence in your trustworthiness.

Speaking truth also means not keeping secrets from your spouse. Whether it's a purchase you made, an addiction you have, an illness you're experiencing or where you've been, nothing should be kept from your spouse. A surprise party may be an exception! Sharing challenges, problems, and your emotions with your spouse may be difficult initially, but will help rebuild trust and ultimately intimacy in your relationship.

3. You will always do what you say you'll do. In simple terms, when you say you'll do something, the other person can check it off the list or take it to the bank. It's a done deal. If for some reason you are unable to do it, let the other person know immediately. Also the seeds of suspicion and distrust seem to germinate when the person working to rebuild the trust does unpredictable things. For example, if you are going to be unusually late coming home from work, tell your spouse and let him or her know why.

As you rebuild trust in your relationship, remember that one of the best things you can do is to ask the other person, "What can I do to earn your trust once again?" Then be sure to listen carefully and take action.source: charismamag.com

Devil Would Surely Flee if You Were Dangerously Awake

The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! (Romans 13:12, The Message)

A few years ago, in my quest to study the lioness, I read books and articles and watched DVDs, documentaries, and even YouTube clips in order to observe lionesses in different settings, stages, and interactions. One documentary followed the resettlement of two lionesses and one lion into a newly designated reserve in South Africa. After a particularly tense sequence, the narrator said something that got my attention: "There's nothing more dangerous than being in the presence of lions when they are fully awake."

The lioness is dangerous when she is fully awake.

What about us? What would happen if we were dangerous and fully awake?

Then and only then would we pose any threat to the darkness that holds so many around us captive.

As Romans 13:12 says, we must wake up, rise up, remember who we are, and confront the evil in this world with light. When you are awake to what God is doing, then you will know what you are to do. The time for lingering is over. It is time to be up and about. The alarm went off hours ago!

Far too many of us are discouraged, sedated, or sadly unaware of what's really going on in the world. Could this be because for far too long we have heard a tranquilizing, escapist gospel that motivates very few to save the lost?

We are not our own; we are God's. We're a holy people set apart for Him and His purposes. We are not some group of straggling, struggling, fatherless refugees who are overcome by sin and wondering if there is a God. We are the collective body of Christ, and as such we are destined for triumph, victory, and signs and wonders.

We are truly frightening to our enemy. He has done everything in his power to contain us. But God did not reveal Himself as limitless in order to limit us. Quite the contrary. He wants to put His heart within us.read here

How will you respond when you are fully, dangerously awake? Even now, what is stirring in your heart? Allow the Holy Spirit to awaken you to what He is doing. Only then will we walk in the purposes God has called us to.

Your fingers can reveal something about your personality?

Did you know that the length of your fingers can reveal something about your personality!?

Compare the length of the index finger and ring finger and see if it matches with some of your characteristics.

The image shows three types of finger lengths, marked A, B and C. Check your fingers and discover the meaning below.

A) They say that people in which the ring finger is longer than the index finger are very beautiful in appearance. They radiate with charm that others find irresistible. In addition, they are more aggressive and decisive and it is no problem for them to take a risk. The profession they usually have is: soldier, engineer, chess player and they are also successful in solving crosswords. Scientists have discovered that people with longer ring fingers earn more than people with shorter ring fingers.

B) People with shorter ring fingers than the index fingers have a great deal of self-confidence, they are full of them self and arrogant. They enjoy solitude and do not like to be disturbed in their free time. They are not the type of person who will take the first step when it comes to relationships, but they always accept and appreciate the attention they receive.

C) Persons in which the length of the ring finger and index finger are the same are peace loving, and feel uncomfortable when they find themselves in a conflict. They are well organized and try to get along with everybody. They are characterized by the fact that they tend to be faithful in a relationship, full of tenderness and caring toward their partners. read it here

WHERE IS THE EVIDENCE?

The members of the council were amazed when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, for they could see that they were ordinary men with no special training in the Scriptures. They also recognized them as men who had been with Jesus. - Acts 4:13

In the book of Acts, we find some amazing stories of genuine, obedient followers of Jesus Christ, real, live Christians.

These were people who knew what it was to walk with Jesus—people who, before they even spoke a single word, had that certain perception about them, people who, because of their godly lifestyles, had in effect earned the right to preach the gospel because there was evidence in their lives. And it was said of them that they had been with Jesus.

Now that was not meant as a compliment, by the way. The statement wasn't even made by Christians. It was made by the authorities who had observed these Christ-followers.

This reminds us that God can use ordinary people. Most often we put the apostles on pedestals. We see them as one-dimensional characters. Yet the events of Acts took place over a 30-year period of time, so not every day had miracles.

Not every day had visions. Not every day had supernatural phenomenon. The first-century believers just went about their business from day to day.

Every day as Christians, we are out and about, doing our thing. Are people able to tell that we have been with Jesus?

Is there evidence to confirm it? Or, as it has been said, if you were arrested for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

It doesn't matter how many Bibles you own or how many Christian bumper stickers you have on your car.

The evidence I am talking about are results in your life - a change of character. This is what we see in the lives of the first-century Christians. They walked with God, and it showed in the way they lived.

Prayer: Lord, draw me closer and change my life.

Scriptural Reading: Acts 4:1-21

Are You Speaking Life or Death?

And by death I don’t neccesarily mean a physical death. It could be a death of a relationship, a career, a goal etc.

Are you a “Negative Nancy” or a “Positive Polly” ?

Being positive is a choice you make every day from the moment you wake up.  Some people are so negative, they don’t even recognize a blessing when it’s presented to them. 

You either look at your circumstance as an opportunity for growth or way to damnation.  You either accept defeat as your destiny or see it as a learning curve and make it your foundation to start over.

You either see your roadblock as a stumbling block or a stepping stone.  It all depends on how you view it. read here

The choices you make from the time you start the day shape your day and your life ultimately.

If you declare every day that surely goodness and mercy follows you all the days of your life, eventually you will start to look for life’s little blessings because that’s what you are expecting.

If you declare every day that you are worthless, you amount to nothing and you are a waste of space, then eventually you start to believe yourself. The same works in the reverse. If you declare victory, you are more than enough, and you have a unique gift to share with the world, eventually you will start to believe this also. 

For things happen twice, first in our minds and second in reality.

Things may not always go our way.  Disasters, heartbreaks, losses, and accidents happen.  They are inevitably parts of our lives.  But they are not the totality of life.  They do not define your destiny.  They don’t mean you are living a cursed life.  You can always learn from them and with God’s help, turn things around.  

You either speak life or death according to the words you speak, the beliefs you declare, and the things you do. 

So, Are You Speaking Life or Death?

Your Feet are a reflection of your personality

The shape of a foot can reveal a person's characteristic traits and even provide information about his/her state of mind and health.

In terms of shape, there are four different types of feet that determine the way we are. Let's see what this is all about. 

1:THE SQUARE FOOT . This refers to a foot with a slightly obtuse, in which the length of the toes, including the first or big toe, is almost the same, giving rise to a form similar to that of a rectangle.It is also called 'Giselle' or 'Peasant Foot' and is characteristic of those who like to ponder and relentlessly examine every decision, always weighing up the positive and negative aspects.In this case, it refers to individuals who never go with the flow and always decide based on a set of principles, therefore being very practical in their choices. These people are reliable and secure, who always finish what they set out to do.

2: FLAME FOOT. Also called "Fire Foot" or 'Greek Foot', it is characterized by the presence of a narrower second toe (long toe) than the rest of the toes, which protrudes from the toe axis. The fingers are spread apart and create a shape that is similar to that of a triangle. Someone who possesses feet such as this is an active, sporting and creative individual, who loves movement and is characterized by a strong enthusiasm.This person can also encourage and motivate those around him/her. On the other hand, this individual is also very impulsive, which can occasionally lead to excessive stress for himself/herself and those around him/her.

3:THE COMMON FOOT. Also known as the 'Roman Foot', this is characteristic of someone with a 

balanced and well-proportioned body shape and it is typical of someone who has an extrovert and sociable nature. The owner is always ready to learn new things and to engage in innovative intellectual experiences. This is a distinguishing feature of travellers, which is why it is sometimes called the "foot of air". This is to say that the owner has light feet, with toes and big toe in proportion to each other so that the feet are aerodynamic.He who owns this foot loves to discover new cultures, always enhancing and enriching his own. In this case, excessive safety can become an issue as the owner turns to excessive pride or eccentricity in his behaviour. source: 2unitrending.info

4: STRETCHED FOOT. With an elongated, tight shape, this foot features toes that are fused together and a big toe that tapers toward the top. This foot has a rather delicate and subtle shape, denoting dreamer and an idealist spirit. The "Water Foot" or 'Egyptian Foot' belongs to those who cherish their private life and are full of hidden aspects, without feeling the urge to look reality in the face. We are dealing with someone who often changes mood, rebelling to everyday life and denoting certain impulsiveness.

Even the shape and size of the toes and fingernails reveals that there are other sides of their  character that are not available for us to explore at first sight. For example, those with small feet love life and like to have a very hectic job, while larger feet are characteristic of those with the greatest desire to succeed in new ventures. Crooked fingers are a sign of surrender, long ones denote ambition, and a very large big toe symbolizes a high degree of rationality. The feet can also provide insight into the health of an individual with the help of reflexology. Massaging some portions of the foot creates nerve stimulations that are transmitted directly to the brain and cause a state of well-being. This can also relieve pain for those who complain of discomfort in the abdomen, especially in the stomach and intestine regions. It may even help you find out if you have a predisposition to developing lung cancer by detecting the presence of nicotine in your toenails. A clear sign that this may be happening, and which smokers should be weary of, is when the nails begin to turn yellow.

THE WORD OF GOD

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. - 2 Timothy 3:16-17

A man took his wife to see the doctor, and as he was sitting in the waiting room, he saw the doctor come rushing out, asking if someone had a screwdriver.

He returned to the exam room with the screwdriver, but a few minutes later, he came running out again and asked for a pair of pliers. The man was getting concerned at this point.

Moments later, the doctor came out and asked if anyone had a hammer. Unable to stand it any longer, the husband said, "Doctor, what is going on in there? What is wrong with my wife?" "I don't know," the doctor replied. "I can't get my medical bag open."

When it comes to our Bibles, the same is true for a lot of us. We haven't even opened them. This is why I think it is very important to bring your Bible to church.

It is also why I don't put verses up on the screen at the church where I pastor. I don't have a problem with that in principle, but I don't want people looking at a screen; I want people looking at their Bibles.

I want their Bibles to be used. It seems bizarre to me when I see people going to church without a Bible, and when I see preachers who don't preach the Bible.

It does matter what God's Word has to say. So it is important to read your Bible. It has been said that a Bible that is falling apart is usually an indication of a life that isn't. So I like to see worn-out Bibles.

The devil will do everything He can to keep us away from the Word of God. So let's read our Bibles.

Prayer: Lord, may Your Word be my delight all the days of my life.

Scriptural Reading: 2 Timothy 3:10-17