The Power of ‘I Love You’ From Dad

Here at the National Center for Fathering, when speaking to groups of men we'll often conduct some informal research about affirmation and love from fathers. Typically we'll ask, "Please raise your hand if your father told you that he loved you on a consistent basis."

The results are predictable, as are the jaws that drop in amazement. Usually only 3-4 percent of the dads will raise their hands! And I'm sure the majority of those men are still waiting to hear their dad say, "I love you" for the first time.

For me, it's another picture representing the culture of fatherlessness that we're living in, because even when dads are present in their kids' lives, too often they aren't connecting with them in a meaningful, affirming way.

Like father, like son ... dads who didn't hear "I love you" growing up often don't feel natural saying it to their children.

Now, some people may say it's no big deal. A lot of people who didn't have that benefit still grow up and do fine. But our research and experience at the National Center tells us that those three words, spoken with sincerity and backed up by behavior, can demonstrate support, encouragement, tenderness and caring as much as anything else we do as fathers.

I believe it is a big deal.

Our words—or sometimes our lack of words—can either bless or discourage our children for their entire lives. And we've heard all the excuses: "They know how much I love them." "I don't want my son to get a big head." "It just isn't what we do in our family." But those are just excuses. If we know how much it benefits our children, there's really no reason we shouldn't say it.

If, for some reason, telling your child "I love you" is too difficult for you, here are some ideas you might try as you work up to it.

o    Go into your child's room at night, when he's sleeping, and "practice" saying it to him. Keep doing this every chance you get, and before long it will feel natural enough that you can say it when he is awake. It may even slip out before you realize it.

o    Try writing, "I love you" on a card or in a letter or short note. (Just make sure you don't stop there. Work up to where you can say it to him.)

Sure, it may be awkward or even difficult at first, but it's worth it.

Eventually, you can come right out and say: "I just want you to know that I love you and accept you totally, just as you are. I love you whether you succeed or fail. I love you because you're  [insert your child's name]."

Your children gain great confidence and security from knowing you place high value on them. Use words to build them up at every opportunity. Give them plenty of "I love yous" and other positive phrases that will echo in their minds for a long, long time.

Action Points for Dads on the Journey

o    Get a small voice recorder that's attached to a photo frame (or that can be attached) and record a short message of love that your child can play over and over. (Great for young kids, or as a Father's Day gift from a child to a dad.) 

o    Honor your child by throwing a "just because" party one which says, "I love you" for no particular reason just because.

o    Find ways to reinforce your "I love you" message through actions, like a big hug at bedtime or any time, following through on promises, doing small favors, etc.

o    Use the milestone events that happen this time of year graduations, performances, sports events, etc. to communicate to your child, verbally and in writing, "I love you just as you are, and I'm proud to be your dad."

o    Ask your child to autograph his or her picture, then display it in your office like you might display something from a celebrity or sports star.

Do you have unique ways to demonstrate love to your kids? Please help other dads by commenting either below.

By CareyCasey

Ungrateful Souls

TEXT: EZEKIEL 16:15-34

KEY VERSE: “But thou didst trust in thine own beauty, and playedst the harlot because of thy renown, and pouredst out thy fornications on every one that passed by; his it was” (Ezekiel 16:15).

At the manipulation of a hand-held device, one can access any part of the globe and transact multinational businesses to usher in instant wealth. Man believes he can influence the present and the future with the arsenal of inventions at his disposal. Modern advancement has made man proud and disdainful of God and His word.

The Israelites were beloved of God. After the people settled down to a life of prosperity and progress, they forsook God and plunged headlong into idolatry. God blessed them with gold and silver, but they used these jewels to mould images to worship for themselves. He provided them with fine garments, but they used same to deck their idols. The incense and oil He gave them to use in offering sacrifices to Him were used to worship their idols. Worse still, they offered their children as sacrifices to their gods. Thus, they forgot all His goodness, favour and mercies. Their actions were so disgusting that even other notorious idol worshippers, like the Philistines, would be ashamed by the extent to which the Jews excelled in evil practices. By their actions, they came under divine judgment. To them, God said: “I have stretched out my hand over thee, and have diminished thine ordinary food, and delivered thee unto the will of them that hate thee”.

We must beware that we do not slide into infidelity in our relationship with the Lord. God hates unfaithfulness. He is a jealous God and would never condone a rival in the lives of His children. Those who think that after years of walking with God, they have become wiser and more mature, and can turn away from the old and narrow way, court disaster. God will abandon them to the will of their enemies. They also need to repent so as not to spend eternity in hell.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Do not bite the finger that fed you.

This Rainbow Tie-Dye Number Surprise Cake is Just Fabulous

INGREDIENTS

4 (16 ounce) boxes Betty Crocker Pound Cake Mix

Eggs, butter, and milk according to package instructions

Neon food coloring

28 ounces fondant (your choice of colors)

DIRECTIONS

1.    Preheat oven to 325ºF.

2.    Line a 16 x 4 x 4.5-inch loaf pan with non-stick aluminum foil or grease with shortening and dust with flour.

3.    Make cake batter using two cake mixes, according to package instructions.

4.    Divide batter in 5 bowls. Color one bowl neon orange, one bowl yellow, pink, blue, and green.

5.    Pour batter into disposable pastry bags or zip top bags.

6.    Drizzle colored cake batter, alternating colors into the pan until you use all the batter.

7.    Tap the pan on the counter a few times to remove air bubbles.

8.    Bake for 70-80 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean.

9.    Cool cake in pan for 20 minutes, then remove and set cake on cooling rack and cool completely.

10.  Cut cake into 1-inch thick slices. Lay slices flat on a baking tray and place in the freezer for at least one hour.

11.  Cut numbers out of cake slices. Save cake scraps for another use, and place the number pieces back in the freezer.

12.  Clean and prepare the loaf pan as before.

13.  Make the remaining two cake mixes according to package instructions.

14.  Pour a thin layer of cake mix into the loaf pan.

15.  Pour remaining batter into an 18-inch pastry bag or a gallon-size zip top bag.

16.  Line the number 5s in a single row down the center of the pan, piping batter into the pan as needed to keep the number pieces straight.

17.  Pipe the remaining batter into the pan and on top of the numbers. Be sure to mark which direction the numbers are facing and keep track of this while decorating, so you know which end of the cake to slice into and have forward-facing numbers (in this case, 5s).

18.  Smooth the batter.

19.  Bake for 70-90 minutes, rotating pan 180 degrees after 40 minutes, until a skewer or cake tester inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean.

20.  Cool cake completely.

21.  Color fondant in a variety of neon colors.

22.  Roll individual pieces of the colored fondant into logs. Press the logs together. Twist and fold to create a marble effect. Press fondant pieces together. Roll out to 24x15-inches.

23.  Cover cake with fondant.

24.  Create a border using a different color fondant.

25.  Serve the cake and slice into it, revealing the numbers.

To make this beautiful cake first you have to make cake batter for one cake and divide it in small bowls. Color each bowl with a separate food color. Fill piping bags with colored batters and then drizzle the batters to form a rainbow of colors as shown

.

When the rainbow cake is baked cut numbers out of it with a cookie cutter.

When the cake is baked cover it with icing.

Now make some tie-dye fondant by twisting and rolling colored fondant logs.

Cover the cake with this tie-dye rainbow fondant sheet and voila!

Source:tablespoon.com & stylishboard.com

What to Do When Life Feels Like More Than You Can Handle

When my daughter was born with Down syndrome I felt devastated about her diagnosis. I cried constantly, and I struggled to find hope as I pictured our lives in the days, months, and years to come.

One night, as I climbed into bed, I turned to my husband who was ready to go to sleep. I was exhausted by my sadness, and I knew he noticed it too.

"The Bible says that God does not give us more than we can handle, right?" I asked him.

He turned and looked at me, silent for a while.

"That verse refers to temptation. God will not give us more temptation than we can handle." He said, "It is a verse too often taken out of context."

"Well what about this. What about us?" I asked, "Does God give us more than we can handle when it comes to...life?"

My husband, knowing what was in my heart, gently said, "Yes honey, I think so. I think often in life we are given more than we can handle. If we could handle life on our own we would not need God. But when we are given more than we can handle, it is then, and only then, that we realize how much we need Him. We need Him to take over, to lead us, and take control of our lives."

His words were new to me. When life gets hard, when there are losses, when there are challenging family issues, when devastating circumstances beat us down, when personal problems continue to build, or when the simple fact that life is hard and messy threaten to make us into a helpless punching bag, I've so often heard, "God does not give us more than we can handle." Words that are meant to encourage, to give hope, perhaps remind us that we are strong and maybe we don't know it yet, but God does. Yet I knew I wasn't strong, and God knew it too.

"I think this is more than I can handle," I said with tears in my eyes.

"I know," Andy said as he reached his hand to hold mine.

"And I need Him to step in, or I am going to lose it." I continued.

"That's what He wants to do hun, He wants to take over and carry you through this."

This new understanding of God suddenly allowed me to let go. I had permission to feel what I was feeling, to acknowledge that I had no idea how to parent or love my baby who was born with a disability. God did not have a list of expectations for me, the only thing He wanted was for me to trust that He would carry me through the grief and loss.

I did not have to be strong because God would be strong for me. I did not have to find the why because God does not make mistakes and He loves with unconditional love. I did not have to carry the grief and the loss on my own because God would not only help me with the load, He would turn my heart around and show me the precious gift I'd been given through my child.

My daughter is now six and a half years old. It would be tempting for someone to look at the person I am today – so different from the person I was before and during the period of grief and struggle – and think, "See, you were stronger than you thought, God did not give you more than you could handle, he trusted you with your child because He knew you could do it." But that would not be true.

If I am strong in any way, it is because I had His strength. If I can handle anything in life, it is because He carries me through it. If I am a different person today, it is because He has changed me. I don't have to handle life on my own, thank goodness! God handles it for me, and in the process He transforms me, leads me, and loves me abundantly.

And when life gets tough, when it feels like it is more than I can handle, I turn it over to Him, "It's yours Lord! You take it, and you carry me through this."

Author's note: Wonder where the idea that "God does not gives us more than we can handle" comes from? It is from the verse in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that says, "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." (NLT). Somehow we changed the meaning of this verse to a Christian cliche that is intended to make us feel better, or stronger, or else it makes us feel like we must be missing something because it does feel like our circumstances and suffering are more than we can handle. But God does give us more than we can handle, 2 Corinthians 1:9 tells us that, "In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead." (NLT) So rely on God friend, only on God because He is the one that can handle it!

By Ellen Stumbo

NO COMPROMISE

Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age. Titus 2:12

Stuck again! Is that an apt description of your life? It is for many Christians. Some know exactly why they are stuck but have been unable to move past the sin that trips them and prevents them from running the race set before them.

Others are blind to the source of their troubles but are painfully aware that their lives are going nowhere.

Many have become discouraged and have or are about to give up. The children of Israel, God's chosen people, found themselves in similar situations. They experienced many defeats because they compromised and yielded to temptation.

They were disobedient to God's commands. As it was with Israel, God wants His children to live obedient lives, but instead, we are usually occupied with our own self-centred needs.

We too often allow ourselves to be influenced by both the world and Satan. Sometimes we re- interpret God's commands to suit our selfish desires.

But it is important to remember that Satan seeks to gain a foothold in our lives through our disobedience and compromise of God's Word.

He wants to deprive us of God's blessing. He seeks to destroy our lives. That is his mission.

Through Scripture, the Lord commands us to rid our lives of ungodliness and worldliness and submit to His instructions. He provides the Holy Spirit's power, which enables us to do so.

He expects us to stand firm and not to compromise. We cannot be compromising and live a victorious life.

By the power of the Holy Spirit, we must resist the devil and live a 
Christ-centred life to the glory of God.

Prayer: Father, help me live a godly life in my generation.

Scriptural Reading: Titus 2:11-15

The Presence of the Holy Ghost

Simple facts, yet so profound: the presence of the Holy Ghost in the life of a believer. The baptism of the Holy Ghost has been termed to mean a lot of things, mostly doctrinal because different denominations, mostly take it to be different things, A very comical one is the dance drama performed by a group of young boys called Alfa Sule in Nigeria. Do you remember? They needed to deliver a man chased by death and were calling on all sorts of angels, unfortunately for them, the deliverance session ended in chaos. Why? They did not possess the power of the Holy Ghost. Let’s get to know the person of the Holy Ghost.
*Jesus is the one that baptizes in the Holy Ghost. Anyone who tells you it is by doing some acts, or eating something or going somewhere does not have the Holy Ghost. It isn’t by transfer either. Baptism is immersing someone in water normally done in the Christian fold as originated by John the Baptist as a sign of surrender and departing from former ways to a newer one, which is faith in Jesus Christ. John was very unpretentious and did not want to adduce any power he didn’t possess to himself, therefore he quickly pointed them to the one with the ultimate power, letting them know water baptism cannot be compared to Holy Ghost Baptism and Holy Ghost Baptism comes hand in hand with fire Baptism. Therefore if you are born again and easily slip into sin, you need to ask Jesus to Baptize you with the Holy Ghost. Fire consumes and purifies. All besetting sin in your life will be consumed and you will continually be purified till you are made perfect like Jesus. Luke 3:16
*The Holy Ghost fills up the individual he resides in. There is no space for any other spirit once the Holy Ghost is present. Therefore if you find yourself being manipulated by the spirit of anger, malice, strife, sexual immorality etc, how much of the Holy Ghost remains in you? Is he even within you at all? Or you’ve sent him packing? Luke 1: 15,41, 67
*The Holy Ghost speaks on behalf of its host. Do you find yourself often mentally knocking yourself on the head, wishing you can unsay things? At work, at home, in church, anywhere? You need the in filling of the Holy Ghost. Mark 13: 11, Mark 12: 36
*The Holy Ghost is a gift. Acts 2 :38
We will continue getting to know the Holy Ghost, let me stop here for now. Are you filled with the Holy Ghost? Ask Jesus to fill you with His Holy Ghost today and see the difference it makes to every area of your life.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT on The Alphabet

A – ACCEPT: Accept others for who they are and for the choices they’ve made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.

B – BREAK AWAY: Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.

C – CREATE: Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.

D – DECIDE: Decide that you’ll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.

E – EXPLORE: Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you’ll learn more about yourself.

F – FORGIVE: Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

G – GROW: Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.

H – HOPE: Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

I – IGNORE Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.

J – JOURNEY: Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you’ll grow.

K – KNOW: Know that no matter how bad things seem, they’ll always get better.

L – LOVE: Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there’s room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there’s room for endless happiness.

M – MANAGE : Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you’ll suffer less stress and worry. Then you’ll be able to focus on the important things in life.

N – NOTICE: Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.

O – OPEN: Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there’s still much to be thankful for.

P – PLAY: Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.

Q – QUESTION: Ask many questions, because you’re here to learn.

R – RELAX : Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.

S – SHARE: Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.

T – TRY : Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You’ll be amazed by what you can accomplish.

U – USE :Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that’s wasted has no value. Talent that’s used bill bring unexpected rewards.

V – VALUE :Value the friends and family members who’ve supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.

W – WORK: Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.

X – X-RAY: Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you’ll see the goodness and beauty within.

Y – YIELD: Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you’ll find success at the end of the road.

Z – ZOOM : Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.