The Way to Talk to Your Teen About Character

Teens are at an important stage in life where they are developing their own value system. Sometimes teens seem unresponsive to parental leadership but what you say has more weight than you imagine. Take time to identify character strengths and weaknesses and then respond accordingly.

When you see a problem, relating a consequence to the specific weakness can be more productive than just "grounding" a teen.

You might say, "I sense an ungrateful spirit in you, yet you seem to continually want me to sacrifice. I don't mind helping you, but I'm going to say no this time and I'll watch and see if your gratefulness increases for the things I'm already doing for you." This type of response teaches young people the value of gratefulness instead of just considering their own goals and desires.

A teen who lacks thoughtfulness about household chores may need a contract where parents agree to drive to an activity if the teen agrees to clean out the car. This again forces young people to give up "demandingness" and think of the needs of others. Sometimes teens want to come and go as they please but expect food on the table and their clothes cleaned.

One mom who was raising her fifth teenager said, "Alan is 13 now. When he was in kindergarten he was diagnosed with ADHD. He is often assertive in order to control situations. My husband and I have learned over the years that what we see as areas of weakness can turn into areas of strength later on. Alan is daring, not afraid to try something new. This last summer he went on a mission trip and was the youngest member of the team. He did well and was bolder than many of the adults. They found his assertiveness an encouragement."

Make observations for teens and give them feedback about their character.
"It looks like you're easily influenced by your peers."
"You seem to be having trouble managing money."
"Those words are unkind."

Don't overdo negative observations, but helping teens see character weaknesses can be an effective way to help them grow. Look for positive character qualities to affirm as well.
"Thank you for taking initiative to clean up the kitchen."
"Looks like you're becoming more conscientious with your schoolwork."

Giving your teen character-based feedback will be quite helpful over time.

Source; charismamag.com

The Guide You Need

TEXT: Psalm 119:105-112

Key Verse: “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” (Psalm 119:105).

In today’s world, many people parade themselves as role models. Among those who call themselves role models are divorcees, polygamists, men and women who cannot organize their homes. The definition of ‘role model’ appears misconceived nowadays that many of those who make the list are bereft of morals. The idea of role models in our society is that a man/woman can sing, dance or act in movies etc. What do the world celebrate other than vain things?

But the word of God is a sure guide; it ever remains the same no matter the changes in values and in society. The word of God does not change to accommodate the excesses of a highly placed person in society. And those who desire to walk in the old path must see a dependable ally in the law of God.

From the passage before us today, we discover that to walk safely in the thick forest at night, we need a light to avoid stumbling over the roots or falling into holes. In this life, we walk through a dark forest of evil. But the Bible can be our light to show us the way ahead so we won’t stumble as we walk. It reveals the entangling roots of false values and philosophies.

Three simple habits - reading the scriptures, spending time in prayers and sharing with others - are basic to the Christian life. Through the scriptures, Life speaks to life. And because God has inspired the writing of His word, when we read it, God speaks to us through the Word.

Yet, reading the word of God is not enough; it is more important to obey the word of God because it is in doing that that we grow. The prayer we must always offer is for God to give us the mind to understand His word, the heart to believe and the willingness to obey.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: It is impossible to stumble while following the law.

Prayer For New Week, And Happy New Month

In this new month and week I command peace, abundant joy, vision and purpose, success, prosperity, creativity, promotion, divine acceleration, health, wealth, favor, and righteousness into your day. I delete frustration, calamity, failure, sickness, affliction, tragedy, sorrow and all evils in your pathway in the mighty name of Jesus. 

I pray that very soon, your testimonies of greatness will spread beyond the shores of your country. You shall not take the decision that will suddenly terminate God's project in your life.You shall find rest in all your life's endeavour.

Happy New Week and Month from us ASB-World. 

Family: The 7 Worst Parenting Mistakes Ever

I'm sure you heard about the 4-year-old girl in Delaware who gave tiny packets of cocaine to her

daycare classmates because she thought it was candy. Her mother, who was arrested earlier this month, said she gave her daughter the wrong backpack and couldn't tell police how 249 packets of cocaine ended up in her possession.

Every week I hear similar stories of children suffering because their parents used horrible judgment. Like the Ebola virus, bad parenting seems to be spreading and the church is not immune. We had better get busy teaching Christian parents how to raise their kids the old-fashioned way, because recent trends are scary.

I made a list of some of the most disturbing trends in modern parenting. I am sure you can add a few more:

1. Whacky names. We joke about the ridiculous names some film and music stars give their kids: Pilot Inspektor, Denim, Camera, Blanket or Diva Thin Muffin. Yet the common people come up with even stranger names for their babies: Facebook, Hashtag, Aquafresh, Cheese, Chlamydia, Random and get this Felony. Do these parents want their kids to be bullied? I'm all for creativity, but if you name your child after a dairy product, social media or a sexually transmitted disease you are setting them up for abuse.

2. Allowing kids to "explore" their gender. Our culture today has gone insane when it comes to gender rules. In some schools, teachers are urged not to "impose" gender on boys or girls but to let them "decide" which gender they are, regardless of reality. And there are parents who insist that their fourth-grade boy be allowed to go in the girls' restroom because he "feels" he is a girl. Am I the only person who believes that the "psychologists" responsible for this trend need therapy themselves?

3. Sexualizing children. Back in my day kids really didn't think about sex until hormones started kicking in at age 13. When I was 9, I was playing with Lincoln Logs, watching Johnny Quest cartoons and learning how to tie square knots. Today, experts say children show sexual interest and engage in sexual behavior earlier than ever. Much of this is fueled by pornography, but television, music videos (think Miley Cyrus' influence on tween girls) and even toys are also to blame. The popular Bratz dolls feature young girls dressed in fishnet hose and miniskirts and wearing heavy makeup. And why did Victoria's Secret produce underwear last year featuring the words "Eye Candy" and "Wink Wink"—and then market them to pre-teen girls? Parents who expose their kids to sexually charged media or clothing simply invite trouble. Learn to put guardrails around the media your child is exposed to.

4. Showcasing kids. At the risk of offending church moms who put their daughters in pageants: Please stop it. We all know there's only one reason a mother would force her three-year-old daughter to wear mascara and tons of hair spray to compete with other toddlers in a beauty contest: It's all about the mothers. The girls are the victims. It has already been proven that girls who are subjected to these expensive pageants suffer from eating disorders and other self-image issues. Forcing your child to live out your fantasies is cruel. (FACT: Did you know that some American families spend more than $75,000 a year on child pageants, and that the entry fees are often priced higher than the awards given?)

5. Not showing affection. I can't tell you how many times I've asked a group of grown men how many of them had fathers who hugged them during their childhood. Often not one hand goes up. The concept of a loving dad who wrestles with his kids or bounces them on his knee has become a fairy tale to many people—and the lack of affection shows up later in insecurity, depression and a host of other psychological problems. Doctors have proven that human beings need seven expressions of meaningful touch every day. Depriving kids of wholesome affection is as serious as withholding food and water.

6. Abandoning your kids. One-third of all children growing up in America today don't have a father in the home. And the U.S. Census shows that this number continues to climb. Children who grow up in single-parent families face higher risk of poverty, and many end up delinquent, addicted to drugs or alcohol or in jail. This crisis represents a huge mission field for churches today, but we can't fight the abandonment epidemic unless we can convince more parents to consider the kids before they break up a family.

7. Giving your kids everything they want. Author Elizabeth Kolbert wrote in The New Yorker two years ago that American kids are "the most indulged young people in the history of the world." The word discipline has become a dirty word in our lexicon. Children today have all the toys and expensive gadgets they want, but they are not expected to share in household chores and don't even want to tie their own shoes or take out the garbage. It's no wonder some 30-year-old men end up living with their parents and playing video games all day: They never learned adult responsibility, so they are stuck in perpetual adolescence.

Ps. 127:3 says: "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord." I'm afraid we've squandered the privilege of raising them. What we need today is a massive movement to reclaim biblical principles of protective love and strong discipline—along with a huge dose of common sense.

J. Lee Grady

You Can Overcome Your Limitations

1. Start working toward your goals every single day:

Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen.

Get out there and DO something! The harder you work the better you will become.

2. Start taking full accountability for your own life:
Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them.

Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.

You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy.

Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles.

3. Start actively nurturing your most important relationships:
Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis.

You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.

Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.

4. Start concentrating on the things you can control:
You can’t change everything, but you can always change something.

Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.

5. Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes:
The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing.

Positive emotions are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward.

Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on.

6. Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.”

Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful to God for all the things He has done in your life.

May God perform a perfect miracle in your life before the year ends!
Amen!

Cast Off Indolence

TEXT: LUKE 19:21-28

Key Verse: “Wherefore then gavest not thou my money into the bank, that at my coming I might have required mine own with usury?” (Luke 19:23).

A story was told of a young man who rounded off his apprenticeship at a tailoring institute. On his graduation day, he was given some money and two different sewing machines as a settlement. His elder brother also gave him some amount of money to enable him start small, but he wanted to start big like his master. He wanted a whole building as a starting point and different kinds of sewing machines. In the course of his waiting, the money he was given got lost and fire gutted where he packed the two machines and he went back to square one.

Had the boy rented a shop to start with, he would not have suffered so much loss. His mates who put the little thing they were given into proper use are today flourishing in the business.

This was the point our Lord Jesus Christ drove home in the parable in our text. He had told His disciples of a certain nobleman who, prior to embarking on a long journey, called his ten servants and delivered one pound to each of them. On his return, all the servants, but one, gave glowing account of how profitable they had been. They had wisely invested the pound and gained many times over. But this one exception came back to his master with his one pound. If he stopped at handing back the pound to the master and walking away, that would have been bad enough. But then, he verbally attacked his master. He accused his master of always wanting to profit from the efforts of others. His master was furious. Now, the master would judge the servant according to his words, describing the servant as wicked. He then took the pound from the servant and gave it to the man that had gained ten, again stressing a vital point that the more you use your talent, the more profitable you will become.

It is an act of foolishness to refuse to use the talents God has deposited in you. In fact, such foolishness is sinful. It denies God His due pre-eminence in your life. It means you have refused to be useful to your fellow human beings, and above all, you have neglected to obey God.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Do not despise the day of little beginning.

"My Life Is In Your Hands" By KIRK FRANKLIN (Video)

You don't have to worry

And don't you be afraid
Joy comes in the morning
Troubles they don't last always
For there's a friend in Jesus
Who will wipe your tears away
And if your heart is broken
Just lift your hands and say

Oh

I know that I can make it
I know that I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

With Jesus I can take it
With Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

So when your tests and trials
They seem to get you down
And all your friends and loved ones
Are nowhere to be found
Remember there's a friend in Jesus
Who will wipe your tears away
And if you heart is broken
Just lift your hands and say

With Jesus I can take it
With Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands.