Some Dangerous Lies That Lead To Infidelity

When I was in college, I spent a summer working in a lock shop. My supervisor was an old, stocky African-American man named Rock with a raspy voice.

He was a hard-working man who had a nickname for everyone and was a great storyteller. One of my favorite stories he told was about a day he was asked to collect screws in the warehouse.

Apparently, the company was trying to save money and time for an in-house building project requiring screws. Rock's manager brought him into the warehouse and pointed to the high steel shelves. Then he asked Rock to remove all of the screws fastening the shelves to the walls.

Rock diligently got out a ladder and went to work, moving right to left. With each screw removed, the shelves stood in place. Finally, he ascended the ladder and removed the final screw on the last shelf. As he looked at the final screw in his hand, the last shelf leaned and crashed into the one next it. The rest went down like thundering dominoes, discarding all of the contents in an enormously mangled mess.

The manager came running in to find a pile of destruction. Behind the debris was Rock standing sheepishly on a ladder holding one screw in his hand. They stared at each other until Rock broke the silence: "This is your fault."

Marital affairs rarely happen randomly. They result from believing and justifying lies. In marriage, believing lies is like removing the fastening screws. It is dangerous, causes bad decisions, and leads to broken marriages.

Exposing lies for what they are keeps us from falling into their traps and knowing the warning signs of infidelity can keep the dominoes from falling.

Here are the dangerous lies that lead to infidelity. Although I am speaking to husbands, I believe these apply equally to wives as well:

1. My wife should make me happy/I deserve to be happy. Marriage is actually not about happiness. It may be a part of it at times. The problem is that this attitude is selfishness, plain and simple. When this attitude is nurtured, spouse blaming becomes routine; bitterness is right around the corner. The list of negative qualities in the spouse gets longer and longer. All it does is attempt to justify the selfish attitude so the person is free to chase happiness or the greener grass. Marriage is about dying to self, giving and loving in good times and bad. That's why it's so difficult, but also so rewarding.

2. There's nothing wrong with a little flirting. It's exciting. When someone finds you sexually attractive it feels good, particularly when you feel the same way about them. No one wants to lose that feeling, they want it to continue. So they justify it by telling this to themselves accompanied by: It doesn't mean anything. It does. It's hurtful to the spouse because it trains the heart to wander. It's natural to have those feelings, but playing with them gives the wrong person an improper place in the heart. Flirting is like entering a river with a powerful current that ends at a large drop off.

3. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. This attitude can take root in the person doing something they know would make their spouse upset. They recognize it's wrong and probably feel guilty, but don't want to stop. In an attempt to make themselves feel better, they simply tell themselves: It's not like I'm hurting anyone. It does hurt. Secrets cause disconnection. Spouses can intuitively sense when there is distance, no matter the degree. They may not address it, but they sense it. Believing a lie like this is just the beginning of allowing disconnection to enter the relationship. The distance just gets wider and wider until this person connects to someone else.

4. I have sexual needs. Food is a need. Sex is not a need, it's a desire. An attitude such as this one gives sexual urges too much power. It is also a subtle way to justify pursuing sex outside of marriage. Once it's justified in the person's heart and mind, acting on it becomes easier.

5. Our marriage problems are HER fault. Marriage relationships consist of two people. One person might be more responsible, but not completely to blame. This is a convenient way to avoid responsibility. Anytime a person avoids responsibility, blames others or justifies themselves, they become colder. Walls of defense get fortified and the separation begins. Note: There are occasions where one person is completely to blame, but those are rare. By BJ Foster

WHERE ARE YOU?

Then the LORD God called to Adam and said to him, "Where are you?" - Genesis 3:9

The first question that God poses in Scripture is found here: "Where are you?" Because God knows all things, we have to understand that He did not ask this question in order to gather information for Himself.

Rather, He asked the question for Adam and Eve to find out where they were in relation to Him. I think it is still a relevant question that He still asks of all of us, 'where are you?'

This is a question that calls us to shed off our hypocrisy and truly examine our hearts to identify whether we are where we want to be in our relationship with God.

To answer that question well, we have to find out where God expects us to be in three important areas of our lives.

• Our passions. Where is our heart? What are the things that we feel strongly and passionately about? Some of us started our walk with Christ with passion and great love. Now, our love for the Lord has become cold and our hearts unresponsive to the things of God.

• Our pursuits. Where is our focus? Does God's kingdom and righteousness feature anywhere in the things we run after? It is alright to work hard in order to earn an income for our families and to discharge our responsibilities.

However, sometimes in pursuing our legitimate needs we become so absorbed and neglect God, our spouses and children.

• Our plans. What is on our agenda? Do we deliberately make time for God and our families? Today, God is asking — 'where are you?'

Prayer: Lord, help me to keep my heart right with You at all times.

Scriptural Reading: Genesis 3:9-19

Health: REMOVE KIDNEY STONES IN JUST 10 DAYS

In our current demanding life, we tend to ignore tiny snags that end up being big enough to be a problem later on, and one of those problems is what we know as kidney stones.

We are overloaded with a lot of work to do and things to accomplish and we forget to take care of ourselves in the process. We do not drink enough, exercise, eat the right foods and relieve our bodies regularly. We realize we neglected something when all of a sudden we feel a severe pain that is now threatening our job and our lives.

This excruciating experience could have been avoided, if we only take care of ourselves by exercising daily for 30 minutes, drinking enough fluids, and eating healthy diets.

A kidney stone is a common problem nowadays because most of us have similar lackadaisical lifestyles. They are solidified minerals and acid salts which are able to form in the kidney and travel to the urinary tract where they are expelled. Some of them are passed through urination while some remain. Those which remain start to form up to the size of a golf ball with a sharp structure, right inside our bodies. Because of the blockage, they can cause inability to urinate and extremely painful urination, plus nausea and vomiting, all of which will not cease until the stones exit or until they are removed from our body.

If we already have them in our body and they have started affecting our life, we need to find a way to get rid of them immediately. Aside from the discomforts that these nasty stones cause, they can also be fatal if allowed to spread to our other internal organs. We can combat this disorder through natural home remedies, or at the last resort, through surgery.

These stones can be removed from our body using different ways depending on the stone’s size and composition. Be sure to see a physician and get his own assessment of the situation, before trying any home treatment. Using only natural home remedies without using chemicals and surgical procedures, we can try to dissolve them into smaller pieces until we are able to expel them through our urine.

One of the most popular natural home remedy for kidney stones is the humble apple cider vinegar. Apple cider vinegar works by helping to reduce the size of the stones and helping to flush them out of the body completely.

This is the recipe for the apple cider remedy:

 Ingredients:

1 cup filtered water warm
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1-2 tablespoons honey
½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

Mix the ingredients together and drink every night for 2 weeks before going to bed. Then have an X-Ray to confirm the results and drink more if necessary. Depending on the size of the stone, it can take 10 days or more of treatment to obtain positive results.

Prevention is always the best solution to any problem. Some changes in our lifestyle might be enough to keep these invasive kidney stones away permanently. Source:tophealthnews.net

HE HAS A MIND OF HIS OWN

THE EX-MEN lineage is amazing. One of their leaders took delight in training one of them who has extraordinary super powers. He trained them to fear no one. He trained them to harness the power inside them. With this, they can destroy anyone. The leader was so pleased with himself that he had a tool that he can use against the enemy. He was so proud to show him off as One who defies everyone'

This continued until the day the subject came to the knowledge of who he was and what he had. The same subject he trained wiped him out with the same volatile skills he gave him.

I am worried about the way we raise our children and I think that the time has come when one will have to address these things.

I am an African woman and proud to be one.

One of the rich heritages of Africa is that we respect the elders. We give them the reverence that is due them ;at

times, its not even because they deserve it, we choose to do so. Some parents have hurt their children so bad, but we forgive and still love and honour them .

With the ever increasing 'educated' parents and 'freestyle' parenting , i feel the need to address those who may be losing this beautiful culture. Being a non-african , you can still choose to take this on board.

A lot of us parents have slacked in our duties in the name of 'YOU CANT CORRECT A CHILD' or THESE ARE ABROAD CHILDREN .....even if they only visited abroad on summer holidays!

Children are being left to decide and choose what is right or wrong for them. A child walks into a room and does not see the need to pay a due respect to the grown-ups there. Its seen as being POSH, or being labelled as ' OYINBO children. Its got nothing to do with that child......Its got to do with a parent who has a feeling of INFERIORITY ......and thinks that for them to BE -LIKE the oyinbo, you need to lose the basic training of common-sense that was imbibed in you from a young age.

Common things we were taught.....

COURTESY.....an elderly person is standing on a public transport....give them the opportunity to sit.

Hello, sorry, thank you.....are very simple words and phrases ....You don't lose anything by saying them.

Some children talk back as though the part of the mind that controls reasoning has been switched off.

Developed world has a problem now.....a lot of children do not see the need to maintain contact with their roots, they are disconnected and they lose their identity.

Your children were born into a home , so they can have an identity, in a bid to make them acceptable to the society, please don't make them lose who they are. Don't focus on their acceptance by peers and colleagues and deprive them of the basic skills they need for the great future that they have.

Add onto them. Let them have what you trained them with and what the others have that you envy.

Majority of the children from ethnic minority get tagged....they get labelled from tender age. The reason is simple. We have moved from the ancient landmarks. In the past, a child will think before they act, because they know that they will get a telling off by their parents. In these days, we are proud to say HE HAS A MIND OF HIS OWN!!!!!

We leave them to the teachers and child minders to train!!! No wonder they cant decide what sex they are and who really is their father!!!!

The posh that you are trying to emulate, have you ever seen their children shout at them in public...NOOOOOOO....they don't, they wont, they cant!!!! They are trained to not do such.

Very rarely will you find the REAL POSH unruly and disrespectful. They treat their own adults and elderly with respect. They don't talk down at their aged and elderly.

Mothers and fathers, give your children identity...the Bible advises it.

Give them more than a British accent, give them the confidence to face the world and be proud of the heritage that they have. Training a child does not mean you mark and bruise their body, when you teach them what is right and prayerfully support, they will grow in it....Being a honorable young man or woman is not a sign of weakness. Its makes them stand out before kings.

Train your children to respect elders.Train them to have regards for other people. They will start by honouring you and as the bible says, their days will then be long in the land where the lord their God has given them.....

TRAIN A CHILD......if they were qualified they didn't need training

Whatever attitude you see in your child, its a reflection of what you have trained them to be. If you breed a rebel, expect to reap a monster. By Bola.

You Desired It, You Planned It And Action It, PLS READ CAREFULLY!!!

I was hoping that it will not get to this, but I need help.

The help i need is for my friends and brethren to please pass this onto a man they know....every man they know.

You know when there is a problem in a marriage, most of the time, we get to hear the story from only one party. But when the story is consistent and the exact issue is always the cause of the problem , you assume that there is no smoke without a fire.

The issue of pastors cheating on their wives is rife.

By the virtue of the ministry to women, we are having to deal with this so frequently.

I have searched my heart and come to some conclusions as to why things may be happening this way.

WOMEN:

A lot of us are very trusting. Most of the ladies attest to it that Pastor is sleeping with a close relative of the wife or at times, even the house-help or a sister in church. He is not bold enough to go out, or the risk that the news may get to the church members. We trust these helps and relatives. We bring them home and they take over the home. Some of them are even talked into the act, not that they had that in mind when they came in. We trust PASTOR even when there are obvious pointers...or shall i say we choose to ignore the obvious hoping its a lie?
We blame everyone else apart from the real cause of the problem. If your husband, the pastor is sleeping with someone else, you blame the woman who SEDUCED your husband.....what was he doing where he got seduced? Its very difficult to catch a man and pull his pants down to sleep with you. Most men will not even have an erection when they are not sexually attracted. Pastor did it because he wanted to. HE IS GUILTY OF THE ADULTERY....
We don't know where to turn to.......There is help available for those who want it. I said those who want it, because its not everyone who want an end to their problem. If you have a cheating husband, you have a choice to stay with him in his error or expose the wickedness and let him get help.
We are too scared of getting help. The common saying i hear is .....it will affect the ministry. Sisters, if your husband is living in sin, and you continue to expose other children of God to him, you are abating crime spiritually and you are as guilty. You don't want him to lose face....okay.....you may ends up losing your mind.
We feel guilty.. Typically, when a woman complains that her husband is cheating , the first finger is pointed at her.... YOU DON'T DRESS WELL, YOU DON'T DO SEXUAL STYLES, YOU DON'T LOVE HIM ENOUGH!!!! Sisters, don't feel guilty because someone is pointing at you....a man is responsible for his actions. If he is sleeping with someone else when he is married to you, its because the part of his brain that controls his choices is faulty. Forget the spiritual part, its not a demon that is afflicting him, the demon does not pull his pants down......he does that by himself. Those who are afflicted by demons pull their pants down in public.....if you hubby pulls his pants down with another woman in your bedroom or in a hotel room...he is not afflicted of the devil. He has made a choice to desecrate your marital bed. A woman will rarely move out and start having extramarital affairs because her PASTOR HUBBY has pot belly. Is it because they don't like toned 6-pack men? No, its because they reverence their marital vows and God. Don't let anyone blame you for an unrepentant wandering husband. He chose his destiny in hell. He is responsible for his actions.

MEN;

Most men who indulge in sin in marriage had the tendency to do so before marriage. So, the appearance of your desires is just a display of what has been hidden for a long time. You don't have any business teaching women when you know that you have a problem keeping your zip up. Dedication to God requires discipline. If you are not there yet, don't step out.
God calls people, others call themselves. If you have called yourself, we can understand that it will be a bit of struggle. But you don't need to hold the woman responsible for your choices.
The Bible says in James 1: 13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
You desired it, you planned it and action it....so enjoy it and be proud to enjoy your sinful life.
Its painful when a man cheats . Its more painful when a 'MAN OF GOD' cheats. How can it be ....when one who should be the custodian of the law is the one breaking it. When you announced that you are a pastor, people take you to be a GOD-REPRESENTATIVE.... they give you the respect and give you the honour. You dupe them of their trust and capitalize on this and mess them up. You use the name of God as a tool to let yourself into the homes and hearts of many....The bible has already made provision for people like you.....2 TIMOTHY 3: 1B-8....As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They’ll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they’re animals. Stay clear of these people. 6-9 These are the kind of people who smooth-talk themselves into the homes of unstable and needy women and take advantage of them; women who, depressed by their sinfulness, take up with every new religious fad that calls itself “truth.” They get exploited every time and never really learn.
You will be found out soon, and all those who respect you will see your shame, if you refuse to repent. Your wife married you in faith and believing in you, she protects you. She hides your sin from the members, some of whom believe that you are their property...YOUR SHAME SHALL SPREAD ABROAD when God decides to visit your iniquity.


The Bible says that he that commits sin is not of God... other translations say....HE THAT PERSISTENTLY COMMITS SIN DOES NOT KNOW GOD. How i wish that the weak women who give in to you will see this and get it !!! The deception is both ways i guess, they are corrupt and want a corrupt man , even though they sing in the choir and lead Sunday school, they are still harlots. So, you go well together.
For the sisters who are laden with the burden of living with persistent adulterers who like to be addressed as PASTORS....the choice is yours.

1. You don't have to cover up with his perpetual sins. You need to SHOUT IT OUT. Sin thrives in secrecy.

2. You say OMOB, do i move out? I say, that is an option. Don't embrace the GOD HATES DIVORCE phrase that everyone will throw at you. THE SAME GOD HATES ADULTERY AND EVERY FORM OF SIN.... yet the people who shout that at you commit these sins everyday, and they advise you as though they are better than you. Separation may mean that you stay out of his house, whilst you look for a way out and encourage him to get help. It may mean that you stay in the house , and give him space without any sexual contact.

3. We want your home to work. If a man is willing to make good his ways, repent and get help, God is able to restore him.

4. Do you have to keep sleeping with him? Its your choice. BE WISE.....If he has been putting his tools in all dirty gutters around town, ask him to wear a condom. You don't deserve a life sentence with HIV because of someone else's wrong choices. If you still choose to not sleep with him because you are not sure.....you are not bound by any contract to do so, the day he let his tools out in inappropriate places, he already broke the covenant between you two.

5. Don't suffer in silence. In as much as help is available, be careful the kind of help you give in to. You are also susceptible , as you have been cheated and heartbroken. Don't let the need for help drive you into immorality . You find succor with another man.....you will only make things worse.

6. If a man persistently abuses you because you question him about his adulterous ways, you need to get out of that marriage and get help. Your life is worth more than a wedding ring. It was not how God designed it to be. Marriage should be enjoyed and not a daily abuse ; slaps and kicks because you are afraid to ask questions. If he is beating you because you raise concerns about evidences that he is cheating, he will kill you someday and you wont be here to give your own side of the story.

7. You say I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO BE PRAYING FOR HIM..... Yes, pray, most of the time, you have been praying for so long before speaking out. Prayer is good. I know that when the heart is weary, it gets more difficult to pray. You can pray, but also ACT....

For every woman who is faced with this, help is available. By Sis Bola.

Pls free free to comment below, let know your view........

THE LORD WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU

Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost! - Luke 15:6

In the Gospel of Mark, we read of the devil trying to stop Jesus and the disciples from reaching a poor tortured soul, a demon-possessed man who was living among tombstones.

Jesus said to the disciples, "Let us cross over to the other side." So they boarded their little boat and began to make their way across the Sea of Galilee.

Suddenly a storm arose and the waves beat the boat so that even these seasoned sailors thought they were going to drown. But Jesus would not be stopped.

He explained why in the Gospel of Luke, saying: "What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbours, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!' (Luke 15:4-6)

This tormented man was the lost sheep Jesus was after. He was not going to let high water stop Him from His intended goal.

The devil is always on duty. He doesn't rest day or night. He is ever watchful. He wants to destroy you and make your life miserable. And he will do anything to prevent you from receiving from the Lord.

But like the demon-possessed man, the Lord will allow nothing to hinder Him reaching to you. Satan will try to stop Jesus from coming into your situation, but he will fail. He always will. Jesus loves you, and He can't give up on you.

Prayer: Thank You Lord, for Your unfailing love.

Scriptural Reading: Luke 15:1-7

Relationship: Avoiding the Counterfeits

When there is greatness on the horizon, the devil will always send a counterfeit. When God has something amazing for you, it will go beyond your comprehension. I believe in the devil. I believe he’s a liar. His witty methods are designed to block blessings, good juju, and a great man.

I found myself in an all wrong relationship when I turned 30. I never once considered if the ‘great man’ who found me was counterfeit or legit. He spun an impenetrable web delicately laced with dreams of an amazing life. We were all sold: my family, friends and most importantly me. I imbibed it, no questions asked. I later discovered the depth of my counterfeit’s ramshackle and debatable character and paid a hefty price for my naiveté.
Character, I learned the hard way, must take precedence over charisma. Anyone can be charismatic. Mr. Charisma spots you from across the way, is ridiculously attractive, says all the right things and is magnetic. You can’t put your finger on it, but you know you feel connected in some way. That doesn’t mean he has the character to back up all that finesse and allure. That is substantiated by time and consistency.
There are 5 characteristics I now look for in a great man when I enter a high potential dating relationship.

1. Committed – Say yes to the man whose mind is already made up. He is the man you’ll be able to set your watch by. You can count on him to do his very best. His mind is made up, he’s all in and consulting God every single step of the way. Say no to the man who is ‘making up his mind’ about you, his life and living in general.

2. Protection – Physical protection is important; but it is a given. Say yes to the man who will protect you with his words. He will be gentle and always address you with respect. He won’t put you down in public nor will he ridicule you behind closed doors. He will have your back even if that means he has to stand up to his friends, family or his mama. This is a man who will be encouraging and supportive. He will make you feel provided for (financially, emotionally, sexually, and mentally) and he will make ‘it’ work–all of it.

3. Reliable – Don’t get it tangled with boring. Say yes to Mr. Reliable. He is the man who will be consistently dependable. He will have resilient character; and will also be a good judge of it. This man will walk in wisdom and use the spirit of discernment to lead and cover his family. You will count on him to make good decisions and right choices, even if you’re not around to assist. You will trust in his reaction to certain situations and overall he will be reliable in how he does life and how he studies God’s word. One thing he won’t be is boring.

4. Motivated – This man isn’t just sitting around waiting for someone else to stir his pot. He’s already gassed up and ready to drive. He will be motivated to work, get things done and be the provider that he was called to be. It’s not about the fancy education, the latest pair of sneakers, those perfect set of pearly whites or the rippling abs that have helped him get by all this time. Ask yourself: Is he a hard worker? When the tough times come, will he be so prideful that he won’t take a menial job temporarily to make ends meet?

5. Mindful – Say yes to the mindful man who thinks of you—always. You may not always like him, but you will always love him. You will value his mind and appreciate the way he thinks. His heart and intentions will be pure. He will consider that you’re a light sleeper. He will think about how your daughter is scared of the dark and ensure her nightlight will always shine. He will understand you live in a hurricane area and will stock extra canned goods, water and kerosene lamp. This is the man who’s got those broad shoulders to carry you and his family.
Of course there are additional traits I would like in my husband: humorous, easy-going, good-looking and so on. But when I consider my future vows, the solid foundation wins. The other desires held in my heart and his will be added to us as God promises in His word. source: theprayingwoman.com

A man who finds a wife finds a good thing. He was never created to be alone. Without Eve, Adam would have never changed his loin cloth, he wouldn’t have eaten 3-square meals, and he probably wouldn’t wash his hair enough. A woman is critical to a great man’s mission and overall success.
A great man will reveal these characteristics over time. To the man of good character and pure heart—say yes. Choose him. Want him. Pick him. Love him. Don’t just love