Relationship: 5 Things Your Wife Won't Tell You She Needs

I remember watching What Women Want not long after its release in 2001.

The movie chronicles a man, Nick Marshall, who receives a fresh perspective on women after a fluke accident. And by "fresh perspective," I mean he has the ability to read women's minds. Sounds fascinating, right? I thought so too.

Then I watched the movie.

Don't get me wrong, I laughed quite often. But I was also terrified. I left the theater with one of those "I just saw a ghost" looks. Totally dazed and confused. For like two hours, I vowed never to date a woman again. I would be single the rest of my life, maybe become a monk or something. Singleness would be easier than trying to figure out a woman.

Fast forward 15 years. I've been married to an amazing woman for over six years, we have two children and our marriage gets better every day. I'm still convinced women are the most beautifully complex beings on earth, but it's possible to understand what they need.

By no means do I have women (or anything else, for that matter) figured out. I'm only 30. I've only been married six years. So, I don't write as an expert. Instead, I write as a man who loves his wife and wants to know her better. If you've ever thought, "I just can't figure her out," maybe this post can be a launching pad to deeper conversations with your spouse.

Here are five things your wife won't tell you she needs:

1. Security and protection. The world is uncertain and unreliable, and your wife needs you to create a culture of stability, a place where she can rest from the world's craziness.

Your wife also wants you to protect your marriage from outside attacks. And I'm not talking about physical attacks (although, of course, that's part of it). She wants you to fight for purity. Here's an example. A man I would call my second father told this story several years ago. While living in Florida, his wife stayed at home with the kids. More days than not, she went to the beach. That's what you do in Florida. But not this man. He never went. Ever.

At this point in his story, I was puzzled. Who would choose to stay away from the beach? Sun. Sand. Sharks. What more could you want? Then he explained why, and I will never forget his words.

"At the time, I struggled with lust, and protecting the purity of our marriage meant more than a few hours of relaxation."

That's called fighting for your marriage.

The greatest threat to your marriage is, of course, Satan. So, husbands, if you want evil to stay outside, you must let Jesus in. Every day, make sure your wife knows Jesus is the most important person in your marriage.

2. Undivided attention. Husbands, your wife needs your undivided attention. She wants to feel valued. Making sure you focus on her is a huge component of feeling valued. And, guys, you need to know something about undivided attention. The word "undivided" means ... not divided.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious."

Right. But most husbands don't understand why their wife doesn't feel valued even though they sat on the couch together for three hours. Here's why. You stared at the TV or your phone most of the time while occasionally nodding your head, pretending to listen. That's called divided attention.

Guys, you're not spending quality time with her because you're in the same general area. This isn't about proximity. This is about posture and attitude. When you wife speaks, look at her. Eye contact says you're valuable.

Your wife won't tell you this, but she needs undivided attention. And she should. If you don't turn off the TV or put down the phone when your wife speaks, you're not just sending your wife a signal. You're sending yourself one. You're saying your relationship isn't important.

3. Open and honest communication. Generally speaking, guys don't want details. If I'm talking with friends, I don't care for details. If they're necessary for making a decision, by all means, give me the details. Otherwise, I only need the important stuff.

Your wife is wired differently. When she says, "How was your day?" she wants the details. "It was good" is more of a slap in the face than a sufficient response to her question. Your wife loves you, and she wants to know everything about you, even stuff you consider insignificant. But she probably won't tell you this.

Communication is the linchpin of a healthy relationship. Anytime I withhold information from Tiffani, whether I am scared of how she will respond, I want to "protect" her or I just don't have the energy to share all the details, it goes bad. The longer I'm married, the more I realize the importance of open and honest communication.

Even if openly communicating means revealing painful information, your marriage will be better off in the long run. For many years, I hid a pornography addiction from Tiffani. She discovered my addiction only when she opened my computer and stumbled across a pornographic site. I was always afraid to tell her because I didn't want to hurt her. Turns out, the wound she sustained was deeper (and took longer to heal) because she discovered it rather than me being honest with her.

Husbands, your wife (and your relationship) needs open and honest communication.

4. Help with daily tasks. Marriages don't have assigned tasks. You won't hear phrases like "that's her job" in a healthy marriage. Whether your wife stays at home or works 9-5, you should help with daily tasks. And husbands, know this: She probably won't tell you she wants help. But she does.

So, change a diaper without being asked. Fold the clothes. Clean the dishes. Maybe you're tired from work. Maybe your wife doesn't like to clean. But instead of coming home and telling her exactly how you feel, be a servant. Clean the house yourself. Pick up the dishes yourself.

Help your wife. Do so without being asked. Her respect for you will increase exponentially.

5. A break. Culture places impossible expectations on women. Your wife feels those expectations. She might be completely overwhelmed. She might feel totally inadequate. She might be exhausted, sick or hurting. But she won't tell you. And if you ask, she will probably say, "I'm fine."

Husbands, first and foremost, you should understand the weighty expectations on your wife. Be sympathetic to them. Secondly, you must look beyond the words. Don't ignore them, but don't accept them either. Watch her. Study her. When you notice her struggling, step in and give her a break. Give her permission to sit down or get out of the house.

Ask her what needs to be done, and do those things. This will not only help her, it will improve your marriage.

WHY YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER TO MAKE AN IMPACT

Over the past few years, an industry has emerged in Ghana especially among the youth. This has got to do with motivational/inspirational speaking. Today, the average youth wants to be involved in motivational/inspirational speaking of some sort. Here on Facebook, you will see many writing motivational pieces as an attempt to make an impact. And the oft-held fallacy is that, you make an impact as a motivational speaker. Nothing could be further from the truth. I will explain. Sadly, too, I have observed some youth resign from their jobs only to land themselves in motivational speaking all in the name of wanting to make an impact. As I observe these happenings, I like to think most of these young people venturing into motivational speaking are really not going there because that is what they were born to do, but because of the perceived popularity that comes with standing on a stage and speaking for people to see you. Or, authoring a motivational book with their faces at the back to make them popular.

The point is, and I can tell you this for a fact: most of these so-called motivational speakers make no impact. Sitting on radio or TV and having interviews, or being invited to speak at various programmes is not the measure of impact. Anyone can do that. In fact, anyone can lobby for a place on these media platforms just to make "noise" and be said to make an impact. Making impact has got nothing to do with motivational speaking. It doesn't matter what it is you are doing; be you a teacher, doctor, nurse, engineer, cleaner, etc., as long as your work somehow brings comfort to others, you are making an impact. I can't tell you how impactful the woman responsible for the sanitation of my office is to my life until I need her desperately to help with cleaning the office. When I walk into the office after cleaning, I feel fresh and focused for work. She doesn't need to resign from her work and become a speaker to know she's making an impact.

The interesting thing is, a good number of these motivational speakers are either school drop-outs because they refused to take their studies seriously and so they were booted out, or are out of school, in need of job but because hey have found nothing to do, they thought the best thing to do is to venture into motivational speaking. I am not in anyway attacking anyone or industry. I am only trying to speak the truth as raw as I could just so you know that whatever you find yourself doing, you are making an impact as long as you tune your mind to it. If you're not meant to be a motivational speaker, don't force it. Be you. Do what you are meant to do. Don't see someone jumping from one platform or the other, and because you love the popularity they enjoy, you also want to do motivational speaking. The interesting thing is to listen to these "wanna-be" motivational speakers who have no substance to deliver to their audience and yet somehow, they think they are making impact. Go, discover what you're meant to do, and do it the best way you can. Impact is not equal to popularity. You can be doing the most mundane job, and yet it is a source of comfort to many; now, that is real impact!

by 

Jonathan

This Little Thing Called Faith Faith Faith

After 4 1/2 years of employment with the bank, I’d just been fired. Relief and uncertainty followed as I gathered my belongings and headed out the door.

Later that evening, I headed off to Bible Study. Service was great. I felt renewed, rejuvenated and was ready for a new start.  Fast forward three weeks later…

The mortgage was due and my funds were low. Two weeks prior, the car broke down and my small “egg nest” had been depleted. Rewind…Three years earlier. I’d just purchased my first home. My daughter was attending private school, which meant monthly tuition payments had to be paid. Let’s not forget the car payment, utilities, and other monthly expenses.

Overwhelmed, I tried to stand firm on my faith, however I was starting to lose heart and doubt God. Although I kept quoting scriptures, in the back of my mind I kept thinking…what am I going to do? No longer could I hide the fact that I was worried.  Not wanting to alarm my daughter, I quietly slipped into the hallway to pray. 

As I sat praying, my daughter came out and sat down next to me. She gently removed my hands from over my eyes. Wiping the tears away, she wrapped her arms around me. Then she spoke something into my spirit that I shall never forget. She said, “ Don’t worry Mom, God has us”. Blew me away.  Here was my 8 year old child telling me, (a woman of faith), that we would be alright. Not only did God speak through her, but that day, He spoke through me as well. 

He told me to get up and call my former employer. But why? We had nothing to discuss. Then He lovingly reminded me that I had a week of unused vacation days. I wiped the rest of the tears away, and got up off the stairs. I hurried to the phone to call Human Resources. I was informed that I did in fact have the unused vacation days and a check would be cut and mailed. Then the Holy Spirit spoke again…

The voice on the other end replied…

“Well do you have an account with us”?

“Yes, I opened it up years ago when I set up my direct deposit”, I replied.

“Well, I can deposit the funds directly into your account”.

The amount of the deposit was $560.00 and the amount needed to cover the mortgage was $550.71. Overjoyed, I cried out to the Lord and thanked Him. I was left in awe. I cried out to Him and once again He answered my prayer. 

The Lord has answered prayers and performed many miracles in my life. The Bible states “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”.

That day, my faith was put to the ultimate test. I chose to stand in it and trust God. Was it easy? No. Was it ultimately worth it? Yes.  I urge you to stand on God’s word and His promises. He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Just as my daughter wrapped her arms around me….the Lord is there waiting to do the same for you. 

Prayer for the new week and Happy new month of February

The Lord will deliver your soul from death, your eyes from tears, and your feet from falling. The angels of the Lord shall surround you, keep and preserve you from all evil,You shall live to fulfill your destiny in Jesus mighty name. There shall be no sorrow in your life, there shall be no afflictions, and no calamity; only voice of rejoicing and good news shall be heard always in your tabernacle. The glory of God will shine upon you, the anointing for good health, success, progress, prosperity and breakthrough shall rest permanent in your life in Jesus mighty name

Deception of Indecision

Joel 3:14 "Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision! For the day of the LORD is near in the valley of decision" (NIV).

Joshua 24:15 "If serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve ..." (NIV).

1 Kings 18:21 "Elijah came near to all the people and said, "How long will you hesitate between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow Him; but if Baal, follow him." But the people did not answer him a word" (NIV).

Romans 5:16 "Don't you realize that grace frees you to choose your own master? But choose carefully, for you surrender yourself to become a servant – bound to the one you chose to obey" (Passion Translation).

From Genesis to Revelation the Bible is riddled with the call to make a decision, to choose, and as much as we as people would rather not choose, we have to make a choice, for the days of living in the indecision are fast ending. When I lived in Malaysia, I realized how American I was when I went to the grocery store and the choices were so limited, there were only 10 cereal choices, rather than the 50 I had in the US. But when I got back from living in Malaysia for 9 years, I realized how Malaysian I had become, because I was overwhelmed by all the choices here in the U.S. The more choices you have, the more freedom you think you are given, but actually the opposite is true, the less choices you have, the easier it is to decide. Once you decide on one thing, that is where real freedom is found.

It is not freedom to be sleeping around with multiple people, that is bondage, real freedom is being married and living monogamously with one person. It is not freedom to be jumping from job to job because you get offended when you are corrected, real freedom is staying the course, running the race and learning how to live with your cubicle companions over the years. We have bought into the lie that freedom is not choosing, actually, freedom doesn't come until you make a choice. Anxiety and stress riddle people who are trying to find a house to buy, but peace comes when they finally make a decision. Freedom comes from making your choice, not from leaving your options open out of fear of making the wrong choice.

So, if freedom comes from making a decision, why are we so afraid of making a decision; why does the thought of D-Day rattle us so much? The most popular answer to this question is fear, fear of making the wrong decision. The funny thing about fear is, it keeps you from making a decision, but is nowhere to be found once the decision is made.

The Christian challenge is that we have said a prayer but we never made a decision to follow a man. We got baptized in water but we never died to ourselves. We accepted Christ but we never said no to sin. So, we have altered our beliefs to match our experience, which is why you can be a Christian and still have sin as your master; you can live for yourself and still expect to be blessed; you can say whatever you want and not reap what you have sown.

The reason most people do not pick a path is because the gate that leads to life is called death; the path that leads to perfect love is called pain. Most people want relief from their distress, but they do not want to be made whole. We see, feel, experience the consequences of indecision, but yet we do not have the strength to make a different decision.

We have become so comfortable with the bondage of indecision, when we meet someone who has made a decision, we get mad at them for they refuse to conform to our discomfort. Jesus didn't die so you could be comfortable in your contradictions, He died so you could be free from sin. The Lord will never violate your free will, the choice has been and continues to be yours.

Decision day is every day and what you decide is up to you, but I want to end by quoting Deuteronomy 30:19, "Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!" (NLT).

Lisa Great 

Plant That Kills Cancer Cells, Stop Diabetes and Boosts Your Immune System!

Goya, or otherwise known as Karela, is a “bitter-melon” fruit that has been used for health benefits in countries all over the world for a long period of time. It grows well in humid and hot climates and can be mostly found in South America and Asia. It is a common traditional medicine in China, India, Asia and some southeastern parts of US.


This healthy melon has an extremely bitter taste, and its shape resembles a bumpy cucumber. However, the natural components in it were found to be able to treat patients diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

To be more specific, the founder of the effects of this amazing fruit was Dr. Frank Shallenberger M.D. who specializes in Anti Aging treatments and Alternative Medicine at the Nevada Center of Alternative & Anti- Aging Medicine.

Dr. Shallenberger always advises his patients to trust nature and use natural products and substances in treating any kind of sickness. He states that this miraculous fruit inhibits cancer cell growth effectively.

Namely, according to his latest findings, a 5% solution of bitter melon juice can fight pancreatic cancer.

This fruit destroys cancer cell lines by 90 and 98% percent. Its effect was further examined at the University of Colorado, and the results showed a reduction of 64% in the size of pancreatic tumors.

Therefore, this research only confirmed the benefits and powerful action of the bitter melon. Furthermore, it also plays a great part in the treatment of skin infection, diabetes symptoms, asthma, stomach problems and hypertension.

These are the most important health benefits of the bitter melon:

• It cleanses and detoxifies the liver, relieves gout pain and stimulates blood circulation. 
• Goya juice increases the stability of yourimmune system and resistance of your body against infections.
• It stimulates food peristalsis and eases the digestionuntil the food is finally excreted through the bowel and out of the system.
• The bitter melon is rich in polypeptide-P, a phytonutrient which lowers blood sugar. Bitter melon also contains a special charantin, known to increase glycogen synthesis and glucose uptake in the liver, muscles, and adipose tissues. Both of them lower blood sugar, which is essential for patients with type-2 diabetes.
• It relieves the hangover, as it accelerates the metabolism, and at the same time, it nourishes and cleanses the liver after the consumption of alcohol.
• The regular consumption of its juice helps relieve psoriasisand fungal infections, such as Athlete’s feet and ringworms.
• It improves the eyesight and relieves the vision problem, as it is abundant in beta-carotene
• It is a source of folatewhich reduces the occurrence of neural tube defect in newborns.
• When consumed regularly, it boosts your stamina and energy level.

One Thing the Holy Spirit Will Not Do

The Bible repeatedly tells us that God is our helper. The question is, do we really trust God to help us? It's easy to respond right away that we trust Him, but when it comes to practically applying this truth to our everyday life—leaning on the Holy Spirit to help us in every area of our lives—we often struggle to do it.

As born-again believers in Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit—God's Spirit—lives in our spirit. In John 16:7, Jesus said that the Holy Spirit is our "Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Advocate, Intercessor, Strengthener, Standby)" and that He wants "to be in close fellowship" with us (AMPC).

It's so important for us to know that we can have a close, intimate relationship with the Holy Spirt, that He will communicate with us. I went to church for many years and had no idea that I could overcome my problems and live with real peace and joy because the Holy Spirit lived in my spirit. It was life-changing for me when I got the revelation that He wanted to lead me in God's will for my life and He would enable me to do everything I needed to do.

The truth is if we really believe God is our helper and He's willing to help us no matter what situation we're in, then we have no reason to worry or get overwhelmed. 

I'll let you in on another secret: You need to ask God for help because the Holy Spirit is not the type to barge into your life and take over.

Have you ever had someone try to push their opinions or their agenda on you? They may or may not know what they're talking about, and they may not even be really interested in helping you do what needs to be done, but they sure have a lot to say about what you're doing wrong!

That's not what the Holy Spirit does.

The Holy Spirit knows the answer to every problem, and He will even help you through each one. But He won't give you His advice unless you ask for it. In other words, the humble get the help.

Every Problem Matters to God

Jesus said in John 15:5 (NIV), "Apart from me you can do nothing." And that's so true. But did you know He's not holding out on you? God actually likes it when we ask for His help. And God not only wants to help us with our big problems, He also wants to help us with the little things in life. That's wonderful news because sometimes we allow the little things to get us frustrated and upset. One of the best ways to go through the day is to pray often, "Help me, Lord. Help me. Help me!"

In the Psalms, we frequently see King David going to God for help. For example, Psalm 40:13 (MEV) says, "Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me; O Lord, make haste to help me!"

Notice that David was not only bold enough to ask God for help, but he was also confident that God would answer his prayers. We can learn from that too.

In Psalm 43:5, David says, "Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I will yet give Him thanks, the salvation of my countenance and my God" (MEV).

You and I have so many opportunities to feel sad or discouraged and have a bad attitude, but God wants us to stay strong in Him, like David did. Those who do will eventually come out on top, because there's no way the enemy can hold you back if you will trust God and keep your hope in Him.

Learn How to Trust Your Helper

It's comforting to know God will help you get through the hard times of life. His grace and strength will sustain you while you're waiting for your breakthrough. Isaiah 41:10 says He will keep you strong and retain you with His victorious hand of rightness and justice (AMPC).

Even when you're tempted to think, It's not going to do me any good to pray after the way I've acted, don't let that stop you from asking for God's help. Because when you go to the Father in prayer, you don't go in your name—you go in the name of Jesus.

Hebrews 4:16 (MEV) says "Let us then come with confidence to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." And Psalm 23:3 (AMPC) says, "He restores my soul; He leads me in paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him―not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake" (emphasis mine).

When you're hurting, in trouble, or waiting for answers in your life, you need to believe that your Helper, the Holy Spirit is with you and He wants to help you. Stay in close fellowship with Him and ask Him for the help you need.

No matter what the circumstances may look like, believe He's working on your behalf. He is your Comforter, Counselor, Helper, Advocate, Intercessor, Strengthener, Standby—He's everything you need—and He's just waiting for you to ask.

Joyce Meyer 

Prayer for new week

God has intention for your pain, a motive for your struggle and a reward for your faithfulness. Don't give up! You will make it in Jesus name.As much as God will make you blessings to others, I pray that you will never lack the resources to always go higher everyday in Jesus name!

God will stand in for you where every hope has failed. You will never be disgraced in Jesus Name.Nobody can stop the wind from blowing. Whoever that tries to stop your Joy and Progress, God will destroy their powers in Jesus name.

Happy new week from us ASB's World. Love yah Folk and enjoy your week in PEACE.

Just speak NOW for thy Lord heareth

Some time ago, at about 2am, I suddenly woke up from sleep to an irritating sound. It was coming from somewhere near my bed and it was grating my nerves. I was almost sure it was a roach, scratching at some surface CONTINUOUSLY - Oh Lord, can't take it no more!

I wasn't interested in 'sniffing out' the roach and snuffing out its life, yet, I knew I could not stand the irritating sound it was making. And then, in a flash, I remembered church service the previous Sunday and the message that came from the pulpit. Pastor told us to DELIBERATELY SPEAK what we desire to see fulfilled in our lives in the new year. He told us to follow in the Master's steps and speak to things - animate or inanimate (e.g. Jesus spoke to the fig tree; He spoke to the storm too). He said the instruction is, "WHOSOEVER shall SPEAK to WHATSOEVER..."

So I decided to speak to the irritating roach. I turned to the angle where the sound was coming from and told the roach to be silent. I went to ease myself and came back to bed. Behold, there was silence, absolute silence! The grating noise stopped and I heard it no more.......

See, friends, words have tremendous power, there's no disputing that. The whole universe was created by words. When words are spoken, spiritual forces are released to take control of the physical by the power of/in the word. I bring you the same message I received: What do you want to see in 2016? What do you want to see even NOW? Start speaking and be deliberate about your choice of words.

"For assuredly, I say to you, whoever SAYS to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says." Mark 11:23 (NKJV-emphasis mine)

"Then God SAID, “Let there be light”; and there was light." Genesis 1:3 (NKJV-emphasis mine)

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV)

"(as it is written, “I have made you a father of many nations”) in the presence of Him whom he believed—God, who gives life to the dead and CALLS THOSE THINGS WHICH DO NOT EXIST AS THOUGH THEY DID..." Romans 4:17 (NKJV-emphasis mine)

"So will the words that come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed. They’ll do the work I sent them to do, they’ll complete the assignment I gave them." Isaiah 55:11 (MSG) - You share the nature of God, so you can speak as He does.

"Speak NOW for thy Lord heareth!"

by Sis Ayotunde

Prayer for new week

The God who makes rain fall in its season shall command His bountiful blessings towards you and your rains of blessings shall fall for you! Before this month is over, you will witness God's favour in a greater dimension. You will become the leader of all those who have led you before. God will give you special testimonies that can't be stopped, can't be manipulated and can't be diverted in Jesus Name. 

This year shall end joyously for you, your blessings will be uncountable in Jesus name.

Happy new week from us ASB's World.

YOU ARE PROTECTED

A thousand may fall at your side, And ten thousand at your right hand; But it shall not come near you. Psalm 91:7

These days, reading the newspapers and listening to the news can be very frightening. Almost every news item seems designed to strike fear and terror into our hearts.

This kind of fear creates panic. Pretty soon, that kind of panic makes even reasonable people go crazy. We behave like Chicken Licken in the fairy tale: an acorn fell on his head. He went round screaming to all who would listen, 'the sky is falling; some of it fell on my head'.

God promises us protection. His promise of protection does not keep us from hearing and seeing trouble around us.

His promise of protection keeps us even through the troubles and turbulence round about us.

God's presence goes with us along the paths of danger and uncertainty. He is our shelter from the stormy blast and our eternal hope.

To live a happy life in this turbulent world, we must:

• Be constantly aware of God's presence. He is with us everywhere and never leaves us alone.

• Boldly claim God's protection. Know the promises of God concerning His protection and by faith, pray them into reality in
your life.

• Bypass our fears. When fear knocks on your door, let faith answer. Even when you are terrified, make the effort to bypass the fear and allow the promises of God to rule your heart.

Prayer: In the name of Jesus, I claim God's promises of safety and protection for myself and family.

Scriptural Reading: Psalm 91:1-16

Health: Coffee or Tea?

A colleague recently came to me asking what’s better: coffee or tea? She told me that she (a coffee drinker) and her boyfriend (more of a tea guy) were debating which beverage is healthier, each believing their own personal preference was the more virtuous option.

It’s a good question because it seems like every day there’s news about the health benefits of one or the other, but you never see the two compared.

The truth: there isn’t a clear standout. Both of these uniquely healthy pick-me-ups have their own long list of health pros—and cons. Below, I go over the reasons to sip one or the other, along with tips for getting the most out of each one.

It’s a good question because it seems like every day there’s news about the health benefits of one or the other, but you never see the two compared.

The truth: there isn’t a clear standout. Both of these uniquely healthy pick-me-ups have their own long list of health pros—and cons. Below, I go over the reasons to sip one or the other, along with tips for getting the most out of each one.

Tea

The pros: Tea boasts a long list of health benefits. The rich antioxidants in tea fight inflammation, and have been shown to help prevent blood vessels from hardening. Tea drinkers have a significantly lower risk of stroke and heart disease, and tea is known to boost brain health. One study, for example, found that compared with older adults who drank less than three cups a week, those who drank more than two cups of green tea a day had a significantly lower risk of age-related declines in memory.

Regular tea drinkers also have higher bone density levels and slower rates of bone loss.

Overall it’s associated with anti-aging: research shows that the cells of regular tea drinkers have a younger biological age than non-drinkers. Pretty potent stuff!

The cons: The first one is purely cosmetic—stained teeth.

Another is the potential impact on your iron levels due to tanins, a type of antioxidant that interferes with the absorption of non-heme, or plant-based iron from foods like greens and beans. In one classic 1982 study drinking tea with a meal resulted in a 62% reduction in iron absorption compared to 35% for coffee.

Finally, if you’re sensitive to it, the caffeine in tea may also be a con, although the levels are lower than coffee. One cup or eight ounces of black tea contains 14-70 mg of caffeine, and green tea 24-45 mg, compared to 95-200 mg in the same sized portion of coffee.

Healthy prep tips

The most important tip for tea is to limit or avoid adding sweetener. Enjoy it hot or iced, and if you need a little sweetness add a splash of 100% fruit juice. You can also add flavor with a bit of natural seasoning, like fresh grated ginger, or fresh mint. Each of these also boosts the antioxidant potency in your mug.

As for the iron issue, if you’re an omnivore this is less of a concern since tannins do not impact the uptake of animal-based heme iron found in meat, fish, and poultry. But if you are vegetarian or vegan the best way to offset the impact is to consume your iron-rich plant foods with a source of vitamin C. In the same study, OJ upped iron absorption by 85%. Other top vitamin C sources include bell peppers, broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, kiwi, and strawberries.

Coffee

Pros: The good news about coffee just keeps on coming. A brand new Harvard study found that those who drink about three to five cups of coffee a day may be less likely to die prematurely from some diseases than those who drink less or no coffee. A rich source of antioxidants, regular coffee consumption has also been linked to protection against type 2 diabetes, Parkinson’s, and certain cancers.

Cons: Natural substances in unfiltered coffee (meaning boiled or espresso) have been shown to raise cholesterol levels slightly. Also coffee is more acidic than tea, so if you have stomach or digestive issues you may tolerate tea better.

Coffee has long had a reputation for bone issues, but it remains unclear how significant the effects are. One study found that a high intake of coffee—four or more cups a day—reduced bone density by 2-4%, but the effect didn’t translate to an increased risk of fracture. However, if you already have low bone density coffee consumption is something you should discuss with your physician.

The remaining cons of coffee are primarily tied to its caffeine content, which again is higher than in tea. Caffeine is a stimulant, so if you’re sensitive to it coffee may leave you feeling overly stimulated, jittery, and anxious. If you have high blood pressure, you should limit your caffeine intake because caffeine can cause a short, but dramatic spike in blood pressure.

Also two or more cups of coffee a day can up the risk of heart disease in people with a fairly common genetic mutation, which slows the breakdown of caffeine in the body. Unfortunately the testing for this is limited, and not typically offered by doctor’s offices. One company, affiliated with the University of Toronto, offers a test through registered dietitians, but it will likely be an out of pocket expense.

Finally, coffee is a known diuretic, meaning it flushes water from the body. Research shows that your body can adjust to a regular habit, but if you only have it once in a while, or you have more than usual, it could leave you dehydrated.

Healthy prep tips

Again, sugar and other coffee “adds” are a big issue. Fancy coffees doctored up with syrups, milk, and whipped cream can easily add up to more calories than a meal should provide: 540 for a Starbucks grande peppermint white chocolate mocha made with 2% milk and whipped cream. That’s 140 more than a salad from Chipotle made with romaine, black beans, fajita veggies, salsa, and guacamole. I’m not in favor of using artificial sweeteners due to their potential impact on appetite and blood sugar regulation, as well as gut health.

I advise my coffee loving clients to add a little plant-based milk, a minimal amount or no added sugar, and a sprinkling of an antioxidant-rich spice like cinnamon.

The bottom line

Stick with what you’re partial to, take the cons into account, and be sure you aren’t using the caffeine in either tea or coffee as a crutch, to mask fatigue from too little sleep. While you may get a benefit from using caffeine pre-exercise it’s best to cut off caffeine completely at least six hours before bed for optimal sleep. And if either beverage leaves you feeling zapped of energy, either from the caffeine or what you’re adding to it, wean down your intake and up the H2O, the ultimate health-boosting beverage.

GOD LOVES YOU

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

A number of years ago, Karl Barth, the famous German theologian, was lecturing at a major Northeaster Seminary.

At a Q& A session, a man asked Mr. Barth what's the most profound thought that ever entered his mind.

The man clearly expected to hear some philosophical comment from Mr. Barth. But the theologian looked at the man and simply said, "The most profound thought that has ever occurred to me is this: Jesus loves me. This I know, for the Bible tells me so."

You and I need to realize how remarkable the message of God's love truly is. It is simply profound and profoundly simple! And no other verse of Scripture summarizes His love for us as completely as John 3:16: "For God so loved the world..."

It is an undeniable fact. God loves you! The expression of His love is evident from the first page to the last of Scripture. But the greatest evidence of His love is Christmas.

God sent His only Son to die so that you will live. There is no greater love than that.

Enter the New Year with this confidence and assurance that God loves you unconditionally, and He wants to do great things with your life and for your life.

Prayer: Father, I enter the New Year with hope and expectations because I know You love me and You have prepared in advance great things for me.

Scriptural Reading: John 3:16-21

LET GOD'S WILL BE DONE

Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit"; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. - James 4:13-14

The Bible doesn't condemn the person who makes plans for the future.

Rather, it criticizes the person who makes those plans with no thought whatsoever for the will of God. That is a dangerous thing to do. God will not share His glory with another.

There is nothing wrong with making plans. Paul told the believers in Ephesus that he would return for renewed ministry among them, "God willing" (Acts 18:21).

He wrote to the Corinthians that he planned another visit "if the Lord wills" (1 Corinthians 4:19).

On other occasions, Paul spoke of his plans to do certain things and how the Lord changed his plans. We have our plans. We have our purposes.

We have our agendas. But the Lord may redirect us. Jesus taught us to pray, "Your will be done" (Luke 11:2).

Our prayers will be effective and successful when we align our will with the will of God and pray accordingly.

Prayer is not getting our will done in heaven; it is getting God's will done on earth. It is not moving God our way; it is moving ourselves His way. It is not moving the hand of God; it is seeing the movement of the hand of God and moving with it.

Never be afraid to thrust an unknown future to a knowing God. His plans for you are better than any plans you have for yourself. So don't be afraid of God's will, even if it is different from yours.

Prayer: Father, Your will be done on earth and in my life.

Scriptural Reading: James 4:13-17

PRAYER AND DECLARATIONS FOR THIS NEW WEEK

The Almighty God will strengthen you and keep you going in the journey of life. Everything contrary to glory is destroyed in the name of Jesus! Issues of shame and reproach are over in your life!
You shall not bury any member of your family in the name of Jesus! Your new name this year shall not be theoretical but practical in the name of Jesus! You only have one life to live. Grace to live it to the fullest, receive it in Jesus' name! Your life shall be re-branded! Fear not, you will not lose your job, your marriage, your children, your business nor your spouse this year in Jesus Name!

Happy new year and new week from us ASB's World.

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Prayer For New Year 2016

You will  sing for joy in this new year. What appears to be scarce in 2015 will soon be in abundance in 2016. You will have more than enough to spare. You will rejoice in year 2016 in Jesus Name.

Happy new year again folks!