Relationship: 3 Things Your Children Should Know About Gender Identity

You are the sun, shining down light on everyone . . . I am the moon with no light of my own," singer and songwriter Sara Groves croons to the God of the Universe in her song "You Are the Sun." She calls herself a "cold, dark, stone." And so we are.

You illuminate who God is when you embrace the role of womanhood.

And yet, take a walk on the night of a full moon in all its brilliant glory. Better yet, take your kids for a walk, and present to them the world's largest object lesson. As you look to the sky, remind them that the moon is just a cold, dark stone with no light of its own. Yet, it makes the sun known by "glorifying" it. Theology even a five year old can grasp. And well they should in light of the gender revolution I mentioned in yesterday's blog post. As promised, here are the three truths children must know about their bodies in order for moral truth to survive and for their faith to survive the gender revolution.

1. Your primary purpose is to glorify God.

God made you for Himself and has jealously protected His treasure by sacrificing His Son. It is this sacrifice that motivates us to glorify Him. And make no mistake, it takes our bodies to do this. "You were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body" (1 Cor. 6:20).

Our children do not need self-esteem. They need God-esteem. If they esteem God, they will understand their value, but not make too much of themselves. It's time to remember who gives light to this dark world, and to train our children that to glorify God is to make Him known and visible. This is our primary purpose—not a great career, not a family, not fame, not wealth—worshiping God.

2. Your primary practice must be to look like Him.

We do that best in His defined roles of maleness and femaleness. We find this truth solidly planted in Genesis. The pinnacle of God's design was Adam and Eve. One man. One woman. They were more than just a unique creation. They were a representation. "Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, in our likeness.' . . . So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them" (Gen. 1:26–27).

There are so many God-like qualities that humanity possesses. Why doesn't God mention the traits of being intelligent or worshipful or creative when He says we were created in His image? Why doesn't He commend our language proficiency or our ability to compose sonnets? Apparently these are not the things that make us most like a representation of God. It is our maleness and our femaleness that makes us like Him. This places authentic humanity and sexuality in the context of male and female distinctiveness. Our ability to look like Him mandates that we embrace those differences, not erase them.

3. Our bodies must be a living sacrifice to God.

In Romans, the apostle Paul also begs for us to lay down our own plans for our bodies, and to make them daily, living, breathing sacrifices to our purpose of glorifying God. This includes how we work, live, give, spend, and even who we have sex with, no matter what gender "preference" might be tempting to us. Those verses read: "I beg you to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect" (Rom. 12: 1–2).

Why did God make you a woman? Or a man?

Because you were created to contribute to humanity's purpose of glorifying and enjoying God, and God chose for you to do that as a woman. You illuminate who God is when you embrace the role of womanhood because it is in male and female distinctions that we are the image of God. And let's be honest, there will be times when this is a sacrifice for you. Obedience to God and now our own desires can be deeply painful.

Maybe even for you.

How are YOU called to sacrifice? Will you give of yourself (as Christ did), renew your mind, and become a discerning woman of God so that your body may be a beautiful living sacrifice? Will you prepare your children to be countercultural and worship God as opposed to worshiping self? source: charismamag.com

“ Delay Does Not Mean Denial"

Hi Beloveds long time, 2015 is the season of abundant blessings, favor, and decreeing visions. I’m not one to have a braggadocios spirit; but God has been so good to me and I have to share it with someone. I’ve just completed my graduate degree a few days ago and I am now preparing to marry my best friend.

We women all love the story of Ruth and Boaz, but here is my story. As most of you that follow my journey know I too lost someone very near and dear to me, my friend taught me a valuable lesson in life which is the key to forgiveness. I wanted to be committed to my friend; I just thought timing wasn’t on my side. It was a tough time for me; although I surrounded myself around positive people who loved the Lord as much as I do. During my grieving moment, I asked “so God does this mean I will never get married?” I knew God word says “For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay (Habakkuk 2:3) “.

During the past six months of my life; I was praying and asking God to connect me to the heart that is meant to love me. I still tried to do things my way; which resulted in disappointment after disappointment. I decided to make a self- vow after I forgave my father. I vowed that I was not giving my time to emotionally unavailable men or people. I found myself fully committed to God; I was reminded why I chose patience over not settling, I know the word of God says “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened (Matthew 7-7:8).”  The devil tried it, he lied and said I was lonely and I will be single forever .Waiting and being patient can be difficult; due to today’s society we are living in. The I want it (NOW) society. I was reminded that I serve the most high God and my faith lies within Jesus Christ. Women of substance, I’m here to tell you; hold fast because God answers our prayers; he gives us three answers NO, NOT YET, or I HAVE SOMETHING BETTER FOR YOU. Waiting during the difficult times develops our relationship with God. “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin (Proverbs 18:24).” When we wait during the hard times, just know that God is right in the trenches with us waiting. Delay Doesn’t Mean Denial

 My modern day Boaz has been here all along, he has been present in my life during the most difficult times of my life. Although I placed him in the friend zone he never placed limits on our friendship or pressured me into anything that was unwarranted. He was there to pray for me when I couldn’t pray for myself, a shoulder to cry on when there was no one else around to listen, and most of all he respects me.  He reminds me daily why he chose me, he states how he’s intrigued by my strength, my heart, and most of all… my faith in God.  Although he and I are from two different cultural backgrounds, he accepts me for me no matter what my past looks like; he accepts my bruised heart , my flaws, but most of all he loves me for me . I submitted all my burdens to God and became vulnerable with him. Once I did that God shift the atmosphere and revealed to me my future husband. Love is an action; it’s not what’s perpetuated in the media. My help mate understands that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). read here

We are preparing to form a union and change my last name and become one . “The nations shall see your righteousness, and all the kings your glory, and you shall be called by a new name that the mouth of the LORD will give (Isaiah 62:2  )”. “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord (Proverbs 19:14)”. So to my virtuous single praying women just know “ Delay Doesn’t Mean Denial ”. God’s words are true . Keep God first and you will never be last.

Some Dangerous Lies That Lead To Infidelity

When I was in college, I spent a summer working in a lock shop. My supervisor was an old, stocky African-American man named Rock with a raspy voice.

He was a hard-working man who had a nickname for everyone and was a great storyteller. One of my favorite stories he told was about a day he was asked to collect screws in the warehouse.

Apparently, the company was trying to save money and time for an in-house building project requiring screws. Rock's manager brought him into the warehouse and pointed to the high steel shelves. Then he asked Rock to remove all of the screws fastening the shelves to the walls.

Rock diligently got out a ladder and went to work, moving right to left. With each screw removed, the shelves stood in place. Finally, he ascended the ladder and removed the final screw on the last shelf. As he looked at the final screw in his hand, the last shelf leaned and crashed into the one next it. The rest went down like thundering dominoes, discarding all of the contents in an enormously mangled mess.

The manager came running in to find a pile of destruction. Behind the debris was Rock standing sheepishly on a ladder holding one screw in his hand. They stared at each other until Rock broke the silence: "This is your fault."

Marital affairs rarely happen randomly. They result from believing and justifying lies. In marriage, believing lies is like removing the fastening screws. It is dangerous, causes bad decisions, and leads to broken marriages.

Exposing lies for what they are keeps us from falling into their traps and knowing the warning signs of infidelity can keep the dominoes from falling.

Here are the dangerous lies that lead to infidelity. Although I am speaking to husbands, I believe these apply equally to wives as well:

1. My wife should make me happy/I deserve to be happy. Marriage is actually not about happiness. It may be a part of it at times. The problem is that this attitude is selfishness, plain and simple. When this attitude is nurtured, spouse blaming becomes routine; bitterness is right around the corner. The list of negative qualities in the spouse gets longer and longer. All it does is attempt to justify the selfish attitude so the person is free to chase happiness or the greener grass. Marriage is about dying to self, giving and loving in good times and bad. That's why it's so difficult, but also so rewarding.

2. There's nothing wrong with a little flirting. It's exciting. When someone finds you sexually attractive it feels good, particularly when you feel the same way about them. No one wants to lose that feeling, they want it to continue. So they justify it by telling this to themselves accompanied by: It doesn't mean anything. It does. It's hurtful to the spouse because it trains the heart to wander. It's natural to have those feelings, but playing with them gives the wrong person an improper place in the heart. Flirting is like entering a river with a powerful current that ends at a large drop off.

3. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. This attitude can take root in the person doing something they know would make their spouse upset. They recognize it's wrong and probably feel guilty, but don't want to stop. In an attempt to make themselves feel better, they simply tell themselves: It's not like I'm hurting anyone. It does hurt. Secrets cause disconnection. Spouses can intuitively sense when there is distance, no matter the degree. They may not address it, but they sense it. Believing a lie like this is just the beginning of allowing disconnection to enter the relationship. The distance just gets wider and wider until this person connects to someone else.

4. I have sexual needs. Food is a need. Sex is not a need, it's a desire. An attitude such as this one gives sexual urges too much power. It is also a subtle way to justify pursuing sex outside of marriage. Once it's justified in the person's heart and mind, acting on it becomes easier.

5. Our marriage problems are HER fault. Marriage relationships consist of two people. One person might be more responsible, but not completely to blame. This is a convenient way to avoid responsibility. Anytime a person avoids responsibility, blames others or justifies themselves, they become colder. Walls of defense get fortified and the separation begins. Note: There are occasions where one person is completely to blame, but those are rare. By BJ Foster

You Desired It, You Planned It And Action It, PLS READ CAREFULLY!!!

I was hoping that it will not get to this, but I need help.

The help i need is for my friends and brethren to please pass this onto a man they know....every man they know.

You know when there is a problem in a marriage, most of the time, we get to hear the story from only one party. But when the story is consistent and the exact issue is always the cause of the problem , you assume that there is no smoke without a fire.

The issue of pastors cheating on their wives is rife.

By the virtue of the ministry to women, we are having to deal with this so frequently.

I have searched my heart and come to some conclusions as to why things may be happening this way.

WOMEN:

A lot of us are very trusting. Most of the ladies attest to it that Pastor is sleeping with a close relative of the wife or at times, even the house-help or a sister in church. He is not bold enough to go out, or the risk that the news may get to the church members. We trust these helps and relatives. We bring them home and they take over the home. Some of them are even talked into the act, not that they had that in mind when they came in. We trust PASTOR even when there are obvious pointers...or shall i say we choose to ignore the obvious hoping its a lie?
We blame everyone else apart from the real cause of the problem. If your husband, the pastor is sleeping with someone else, you blame the woman who SEDUCED your husband.....what was he doing where he got seduced? Its very difficult to catch a man and pull his pants down to sleep with you. Most men will not even have an erection when they are not sexually attracted. Pastor did it because he wanted to. HE IS GUILTY OF THE ADULTERY....
We don't know where to turn to.......There is help available for those who want it. I said those who want it, because its not everyone who want an end to their problem. If you have a cheating husband, you have a choice to stay with him in his error or expose the wickedness and let him get help.
We are too scared of getting help. The common saying i hear is .....it will affect the ministry. Sisters, if your husband is living in sin, and you continue to expose other children of God to him, you are abating crime spiritually and you are as guilty. You don't want him to lose face....okay.....you may ends up losing your mind.
We feel guilty.. Typically, when a woman complains that her husband is cheating , the first finger is pointed at her.... YOU DON'T DRESS WELL, YOU DON'T DO SEXUAL STYLES, YOU DON'T LOVE HIM ENOUGH!!!! Sisters, don't feel guilty because someone is pointing at you....a man is responsible for his actions. If he is sleeping with someone else when he is married to you, its because the part of his brain that controls his choices is faulty. Forget the spiritual part, its not a demon that is afflicting him, the demon does not pull his pants down......he does that by himself. Those who are afflicted by demons pull their pants down in public.....if you hubby pulls his pants down with another woman in your bedroom or in a hotel room...he is not afflicted of the devil. He has made a choice to desecrate your marital bed. A woman will rarely move out and start having extramarital affairs because her PASTOR HUBBY has pot belly. Is it because they don't like toned 6-pack men? No, its because they reverence their marital vows and God. Don't let anyone blame you for an unrepentant wandering husband. He chose his destiny in hell. He is responsible for his actions.

MEN;

Most men who indulge in sin in marriage had the tendency to do so before marriage. So, the appearance of your desires is just a display of what has been hidden for a long time. You don't have any business teaching women when you know that you have a problem keeping your zip up. Dedication to God requires discipline. If you are not there yet, don't step out.
God calls people, others call themselves. If you have called yourself, we can understand that it will be a bit of struggle. But you don't need to hold the woman responsible for your choices.
The Bible says in James 1: 13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
You desired it, you planned it and action it....so enjoy it and be proud to enjoy your sinful life.
Its painful when a man cheats . Its more painful when a 'MAN OF GOD' cheats. How can it be ....when one who should be the custodian of the law is the one breaking it. When you announced that you are a pastor, people take you to be a GOD-REPRESENTATIVE.... they give you the respect and give you the honour. You dupe them of their trust and capitalize on this and mess them up. You use the name of God as a tool to let yourself into the homes and hearts of many....The bible has already made provision for people like you.....2 TIMOTHY 3: 1B-8....As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They’ll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they’re animals. Stay clear of these people. 6-9 These are the kind of people who smooth-talk themselves into the homes of unstable and needy women and take advantage of them; women who, depressed by their sinfulness, take up with every new religious fad that calls itself “truth.” They get exploited every time and never really learn.
You will be found out soon, and all those who respect you will see your shame, if you refuse to repent. Your wife married you in faith and believing in you, she protects you. She hides your sin from the members, some of whom believe that you are their property...YOUR SHAME SHALL SPREAD ABROAD when God decides to visit your iniquity.


The Bible says that he that commits sin is not of God... other translations say....HE THAT PERSISTENTLY COMMITS SIN DOES NOT KNOW GOD. How i wish that the weak women who give in to you will see this and get it !!! The deception is both ways i guess, they are corrupt and want a corrupt man , even though they sing in the choir and lead Sunday school, they are still harlots. So, you go well together.
For the sisters who are laden with the burden of living with persistent adulterers who like to be addressed as PASTORS....the choice is yours.

1. You don't have to cover up with his perpetual sins. You need to SHOUT IT OUT. Sin thrives in secrecy.

2. You say OMOB, do i move out? I say, that is an option. Don't embrace the GOD HATES DIVORCE phrase that everyone will throw at you. THE SAME GOD HATES ADULTERY AND EVERY FORM OF SIN.... yet the people who shout that at you commit these sins everyday, and they advise you as though they are better than you. Separation may mean that you stay out of his house, whilst you look for a way out and encourage him to get help. It may mean that you stay in the house , and give him space without any sexual contact.

3. We want your home to work. If a man is willing to make good his ways, repent and get help, God is able to restore him.

4. Do you have to keep sleeping with him? Its your choice. BE WISE.....If he has been putting his tools in all dirty gutters around town, ask him to wear a condom. You don't deserve a life sentence with HIV because of someone else's wrong choices. If you still choose to not sleep with him because you are not sure.....you are not bound by any contract to do so, the day he let his tools out in inappropriate places, he already broke the covenant between you two.

5. Don't suffer in silence. In as much as help is available, be careful the kind of help you give in to. You are also susceptible , as you have been cheated and heartbroken. Don't let the need for help drive you into immorality . You find succor with another man.....you will only make things worse.

6. If a man persistently abuses you because you question him about his adulterous ways, you need to get out of that marriage and get help. Your life is worth more than a wedding ring. It was not how God designed it to be. Marriage should be enjoyed and not a daily abuse ; slaps and kicks because you are afraid to ask questions. If he is beating you because you raise concerns about evidences that he is cheating, he will kill you someday and you wont be here to give your own side of the story.

7. You say I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO BE PRAYING FOR HIM..... Yes, pray, most of the time, you have been praying for so long before speaking out. Prayer is good. I know that when the heart is weary, it gets more difficult to pray. You can pray, but also ACT....

For every woman who is faced with this, help is available. By Sis Bola.

Pls free free to comment below, let know your view........

Relationship: Avoiding the Counterfeits

When there is greatness on the horizon, the devil will always send a counterfeit. When God has something amazing for you, it will go beyond your comprehension. I believe in the devil. I believe he’s a liar. His witty methods are designed to block blessings, good juju, and a great man.

I found myself in an all wrong relationship when I turned 30. I never once considered if the ‘great man’ who found me was counterfeit or legit. He spun an impenetrable web delicately laced with dreams of an amazing life. We were all sold: my family, friends and most importantly me. I imbibed it, no questions asked. I later discovered the depth of my counterfeit’s ramshackle and debatable character and paid a hefty price for my naiveté.
Character, I learned the hard way, must take precedence over charisma. Anyone can be charismatic. Mr. Charisma spots you from across the way, is ridiculously attractive, says all the right things and is magnetic. You can’t put your finger on it, but you know you feel connected in some way. That doesn’t mean he has the character to back up all that finesse and allure. That is substantiated by time and consistency.
There are 5 characteristics I now look for in a great man when I enter a high potential dating relationship.

1. Committed – Say yes to the man whose mind is already made up. He is the man you’ll be able to set your watch by. You can count on him to do his very best. His mind is made up, he’s all in and consulting God every single step of the way. Say no to the man who is ‘making up his mind’ about you, his life and living in general.

2. Protection – Physical protection is important; but it is a given. Say yes to the man who will protect you with his words. He will be gentle and always address you with respect. He won’t put you down in public nor will he ridicule you behind closed doors. He will have your back even if that means he has to stand up to his friends, family or his mama. This is a man who will be encouraging and supportive. He will make you feel provided for (financially, emotionally, sexually, and mentally) and he will make ‘it’ work–all of it.

3. Reliable – Don’t get it tangled with boring. Say yes to Mr. Reliable. He is the man who will be consistently dependable. He will have resilient character; and will also be a good judge of it. This man will walk in wisdom and use the spirit of discernment to lead and cover his family. You will count on him to make good decisions and right choices, even if you’re not around to assist. You will trust in his reaction to certain situations and overall he will be reliable in how he does life and how he studies God’s word. One thing he won’t be is boring.

4. Motivated – This man isn’t just sitting around waiting for someone else to stir his pot. He’s already gassed up and ready to drive. He will be motivated to work, get things done and be the provider that he was called to be. It’s not about the fancy education, the latest pair of sneakers, those perfect set of pearly whites or the rippling abs that have helped him get by all this time. Ask yourself: Is he a hard worker? When the tough times come, will he be so prideful that he won’t take a menial job temporarily to make ends meet?

5. Mindful – Say yes to the mindful man who thinks of you—always. You may not always like him, but you will always love him. You will value his mind and appreciate the way he thinks. His heart and intentions will be pure. He will consider that you’re a light sleeper. He will think about how your daughter is scared of the dark and ensure her nightlight will always shine. He will understand you live in a hurricane area and will stock extra canned goods, water and kerosene lamp. This is the man who’s got those broad shoulders to carry you and his family.
Of course there are additional traits I would like in my husband: humorous, easy-going, good-looking and so on. But when I consider my future vows, the solid foundation wins. The other desires held in my heart and his will be added to us as God promises in His word. source: theprayingwoman.com

A man who finds a wife finds a good thing. He was never created to be alone. Without Eve, Adam would have never changed his loin cloth, he wouldn’t have eaten 3-square meals, and he probably wouldn’t wash his hair enough. A woman is critical to a great man’s mission and overall success.
A great man will reveal these characteristics over time. To the man of good character and pure heart—say yes. Choose him. Want him. Pick him. Love him. Don’t just love

Relationship: When God Doesn't Answer Your Child's Prayer

The other day at bed, my littlest girl and I prayed a bold prayer for a contract on our home ... that night. She doubts God right now. She doesn't see things changing ... she doesn't see God working. We all really need something to change soon, but God doesn't seem to be changing anything right now.

I wanted God to do something amazing that night ... I'd even have taken the next day. In fact, I thought it probably would be the following day.

Unfortunately, it didn't happen. And the "somewhat interested" response from the people who looked at my house caused my faith to wobble a bit.

See, I've been reading a book that has encouraged me to pray big prayers so I can see God answer in big ways ... and I'm all for praying big prayers ... but I'm wondering if I pray big prayers for big answers, am I also praying big prayers understanding that God might not answer in a big way? His gentle and loving answer might be something like, "Not yet."

But I will be honest and tell you that I am tired of the "not yet" answer ... and the "no" answer ... I'd like a "yes." But even as I say that I know that some of the nos and not yets have been the very best answers to my prayers. And I do trust Him to answer perfectly.

Argh! But I so want to get out of this situation ... when I've used the word "desperately" to describe something in the past I don't believe I've understood it as deeply as I do now ... I desperately want to be released from this place God has my children and me. I don't want to be here anymore. But I also don't want to force it and end up in a place I'll eventually desperately not want to be either.

I'd rather trust God.

That's huge. Because right now, I can tell you I've had some conversations with God ... and they haven't all been holy.

But when given the alternative of figuring things out without Him, I'd rather trust God.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths" (Prov. 3:5-6).

When faced with decisions and dilemmas in this life, I'd rather trust God.

"Now no discipline seems to be joyful at the time, but grievous. Yet afterward it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness in those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift up your tired hands, and strengthen your weak knees. 13 Make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame go out of joint, but rather be healed" (Heb. 12:11-13).

When I'm trying to raise my children to love and honor Him, I'd rather trust God.

"All your sons shall be taught of the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your sons" Isaiah 54:13

When I'm exhausted and weary with nothing left to give, I'd rather trust God.

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will boast in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, in reproaches, in hardships, in persecutions, and in distresses for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Cor. 12:9-10).

When I have no idea which way to turn, I'd rather trust God.

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake" (Ps. 23:1-3).

No matter how strongly I feel that I know what would be best, I'd rather trust God.

"May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ" (2 Thess. 3:5).

Oh, how I need my heart directed. This has been an exceedingly difficult time ... and sometimes I don't think others can quite understand the challenges. I don't think I'm necessarily doing it with the grace I'd hoped, but the Lord continues to meet me where I am. He continues to love me through my doubts, fears and faltering faith. He continues to be faithful. I do trust that He will guide my family, that He is a shield about me, that He is my refuge and strength.

I do trust that He will enable me to do this life well ... even when it feels anything but wonderful.

And I do trust Him for the sale of my house and the purchase of our next home.

But most importantly, I trust that He will reveal Himself to my littlest girl in just the right way at just the right time. That I don't need to orchestrate things to convince my daughter of His love, faithfulness and existence! He will handle that ... I just need to love on her and pray.

So tonight, as I lay my head down on my pillow, I will be praying for my children and their faith and for me to trust Him without hesitation ... and for a buyer for my house!

Sue Birdseye

Signs You’re Idolizing Something or Someone

Let’s be honest, we are all passionate about something. Whether it’s a career, a hobby, material things, or a relationship. You have something that makes your heart sing, so to speak… something or someone that you love more than anything on this earth. We are taught from a young age that when we love something or someone we are to put our heart into it and give it our all. But, if you’re not careful, that passion and love can easily turn into idolatry.

Many of us have celebrities we like, look up to and even emulate. Some of my favorite celebs are Yolanda Adams,  Denzel Washington, and the late Maya Angelou. I like them all for different reasons and feel they inspire goodness. But as much as I like these celebs, I know I am not so enamored by them that I idolize them. I only have one idol (Christ). He’s the one I put before everything.

Today, I ask you this: Where does God fit in your life? Is He #1, #2, #3, or a better question would be… Is He even a priority in your life at all?

In Matthew 22:36, one of the Pharisees poses a question to Jesus: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus answers that we are to love God with all our heart, with all our soul and with all our mind … to give God our complete and unwavering allegiance. God is jealous for us and He does not want to share us with anyone or anything.

Sometimes we place our relationship with God on the back burner without even realizing it. We don’t give it our all like we do everything else. 

Here are 10 Signs You’re Idolizing Something or Someone:

1. You find your worth and value in them because they give you status, popularity, and power.

2. When you think of your life without them, you feel empty inside.

3. When you’re away from them, they are all you can think about. Night and day, Day and night.

4. You often feel like they give your life purpose. Without them, there’s no you. Does this sound familiar?

5. They have a major influence on the way you feel and think about yourself. They have total control of your self-esteem.

6. Most of your time is consumed by them. If you could, you would spend 24/7 with them. As the saying goes… “You eat, sleep, and breathe” them.

7. You schedule everything around them. You try to squeeze God in wherever you can instead of making Him the priority to begin with.

8. You neglect other important aspects of your life in order to focus on the one thing  that really matters to you. Read here

9. You’d rather put your faith into someone or something other than God.

10. You found yourself nodding throughout this list, reaffirming that you’ve got work to do.

If so, try not to be so focused on material things or relationships that you forget about your relationship with God. Switch the energy you’re currently putting into your distractions and refocus it where it’s needed, on Him!

That’s why it is so important for us to fast from things that we might be giving too much of our attention to and not giving God enough attention. Just remember God is all you need.

Relationship: A MOTHER TO HER DAUGHTER ABOUT MARRIAGE

1. The wife that wins all arguments with her husband is not wise. The home is not a law court.

2. The wife that uses sex as a weapon in the home - placing embargo, going to bed in jeans shorts and trousers - lacks wisdom.

3. The wife that uses the modern trends and laws of "women's rights" to insult or ridicule her husband simply makes a fool of herself.

4. A woman that makes her home devoid of peace through bickering, nagging and quarrels needs help. A man should be eager to run away from office to be at home, for that should be the safest and cosiest place on earth for him.

5. Modern-day equality in marriage does not mean competition. It simply means partnership. Taking advantage of such equality to turn around and become the de facto head of the home and oppress the man is tantamount to playing with fire. If you destroy your home, soon you will be the boss of an empty home.

6. A wise wife makes the man feel so good that he assumes that he is the head. Once he gets that feeling, the woman gently wields her power and the head actually turns to wherever the neck wants without a protest.

7. A wife that does not pull herself away from friends' influence and advice or even from the control of her mother and father will have herself to blame.

8. When a man is looking for a wife, he bypasses women of different shapes and sizes to choose a wife. But soon after childbirth, many women hide under the excuse of childbirth to let go of themselves. Many stop bothering about their looks, shape, dressing, etc. Within 5 years of marriage, people start wondering if the wife is the man's aunt, even though she is 7 years younger. Her defence is that if he truly loves her, he should love her the way she is, but when looking for a wife, he saw people like the present YOU and ignored them and settled for the former YOU. Today, you go to bed smelling of onions.... You go to bed wearing grandmothers' clothes. Why are you playing with your marriage? Love is not about looks - we know. But looks enhances love and marriage. There is a difference between someone disfiguring herself and the person being disfigured by an accident.

Please don't be complacent. As hard as it may be, work on looking like you were when he first saw you and began the chase.

9. If every night you are tired, sleepy, sore, down with headache or fever, "not in the mood," you are a joker, a serious comedian!

10. If your children suddenly become more important to you than your husband, you need prayers.

11. If you assume that as the woman, only you need to be pampered and fussed over while the man is a stone that has no emotions, you need to be pitied.

12. A woman that has the mind of a wife does not excite her husband. Wives are usually complacent and presumptuous. A wife must strive to have the mind of a girlfriend. A girlfriend is always nicer, sweeter, more loving and always thinking of ways to wow her sweetheart; a girlfriend does not try to win all arguments, does not call the man a "useless man", is not careless about her looks or dressing, always smiles and laughs with the man, sends the man sweet messages and calls, etc. Are you your husband's girlfriend in word and in deed? by Hope Gilbert

LASTLY, DO NOT INFORM ME OF YOUR QUARRELS, I DIDN’T JOIN YOU TOGETHER, GOD DID, GO AND INFORM HIM AND HE WILL SORT YOU OUT ..

Relationship: 7 Lies the Enemy Tries to Sell You About Marriage

I've come to realize that there are a lot of lies out there about marriage that people are not only believing, but also are embracing.

Here are 7 lies about marriage:

Lie No. 1: Marriage is a contract. If we accept this lie, we think that marriage is a mere transaction. That it's an "I'll do this, only if you do that" kind of relationship. And, "If you don't do that, I'm terminating the contract."

I have shared previously that "Marriage was never meant to be a contract to be broken, but a covenant to be cherished.  [There] is the clear difference between a covenant and a contract ... In a nutshell, a contract is all about what you get. A covenant is all about what you give."

Lie No. 2: Marriage is an outdated institution. If we accept this lie, we are saying that this God-ordained institution established since the beginning of mankind and intended to last while mankind is on this earth can be set aside and disregarded by the whim of man. The institution of marriage may be under attack, but it is still unchanging.

Lie No. 3: Marriage is a 50-50 partnership. If we accept this lie, we excuse ourselves from putting our 100 percent into the relationship. We will constantly be comparing our efforts against our spouses and questioning who does more in the relationship. In such a scenario, husbands and wives may even find themselves keeping a marital scorecard of who spends more, disciplines more, does the dishes more, cleans more or works more. Marriage is a 100 percent-100 percent, give it all you've got relationship.

Lie No. 4: Marriage will end the battle with lust. If we accept this lie, we set ourselves up for disappointment and failure. Most struggles we bring into a marriage are not solved by marriage, but rather in marriage.

Lie No. 5: Marriage will fix my problems and make me happy. If we accept this lie, we put unrealistic pressure on our spouse to fulfill us and take care of all our problems. Marriage should bring happiness and satisfaction. Spouses can help one another to work through issues, but our spouse can never be the be-all and end-all of our lives. Only God can.

Lie No. 6: Marriage is about what I can get from my spouse. If we accept this lie, we will crush our spouse with our selfishness. When our marriage is focused on giving, instead of getting, it's more rewarding and enriching. Love is all about giving.

Lie No. 7: Marriage shouldn't be hard work. If we accept this lie, we misunderstand the true nature of man and marriage. Because we humans are inherently selfish, husbands and wives must constantly work against that nature and seek to give to rather than to get from their spouse.

Donald Trump once said about working on a marriage: "Well if you have to work at it then maybe it's not worth having. I have to work at everything else in my life. I have to work at my work. I just think a marriage should be easy, not hard."

Actually, we do have to work at marriage, and it is worth having. Like most other things in life, when we really work on our marriage, it only gets better and better.

What are other lies about marriage? Have you ever believed any of the above lies?

Mark Merrill

Some Ways to Mend Trust in a Relationship

Many relationship struggle tremendously because trust in their marriage/relationship has been breached.

People want to know how what needs to occur to have the foundation of trust restored in their relationship. While I'll specifically be addressing this issue in the context of marriage, the principles apply to all relationships.

Before a couple can start restoring trust in their marriage, there needs to be an admission of wrongdoing by the offending spouse, a sincere request for forgiveness and granting of forgiveness by the offended mate. I've addressed those issue in my past blogs on giving forgiveness and two personal stories for forgiveness: Corrie ten Boom and the family of Ed Thomas.

Do you need to rebuild trust in your relationship? If so, there are a few things you need to know.

First, notice that the word "rebuild" implies that a relationship has been torn down and needs to be established once again. Something you said or didn't say, did or didn't do to your spouse, child, relative or friend has adversely impacted your relationship with them.

Second, trust is not something that anyone owes you.  Trust must be earned. That means that you need to provide something to the other person in order for them to trust you once again. It is not something you just do one time, but rather need to display them consistently, day in and day out, over a period of time.

Third, in order to trust you, the other person must have complete confidence that from this day forward:

1. You are who you say you are. Your spouse needs to know that you are genuine and authentic...that you are the real deal. Whether you are with your family, friends or coworkers, your spouse needs to see that you are the same person wherever you are and whoever you are with. They need to see you living a consistent life. Your spouse needs to know that you are rock solid, not a person whose personality or behavior is constantly shifting.

Also, when you and your spouse got married, you promised to be there for each other "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health...till death us do part." You also committed to become "one flesh." That means the other person should be able to rely upon those promises—that you will not tear the marriage apart and that you will be there, as their husband or wife, no matter what happens.

2. You will always speak the truth. There are no such things as "little white lies" or "half truths." What you say is either true or it is not. Let me illustrate. If your wife asks you something simple like, "What have you been doing?" Don't just say, "Mowing the lawn." If you have also been watching television and checking emails, say so. Remember: Truth is the whole truth. To rebuild trust, speak truth in everything, big and small. Doing so will help build the other person's confidence in your trustworthiness.

Speaking truth also means not keeping secrets from your spouse. Whether it's a purchase you made, an addiction you have, an illness you're experiencing or where you've been, nothing should be kept from your spouse. A surprise party may be an exception! Sharing challenges, problems, and your emotions with your spouse may be difficult initially, but will help rebuild trust and ultimately intimacy in your relationship.

3. You will always do what you say you'll do. In simple terms, when you say you'll do something, the other person can check it off the list or take it to the bank. It's a done deal. If for some reason you are unable to do it, let the other person know immediately. Also the seeds of suspicion and distrust seem to germinate when the person working to rebuild the trust does unpredictable things. For example, if you are going to be unusually late coming home from work, tell your spouse and let him or her know why.

As you rebuild trust in your relationship, remember that one of the best things you can do is to ask the other person, "What can I do to earn your trust once again?" Then be sure to listen carefully and take action.source: charismamag.com

Relationship: 5 More Things Men Should Do to Protect Their Marriage

I want to challenge you with five more things every married man should do to protect their marriage.

And keep in mind with these five more things, that these are not meant to show disrespect to women that are not your wife, they are methods for you to use when you feel the situation is necessary for them. As a mature man actively growing in his walk with Christ, you will know when these moments arrive.

1. Imagine your wife is in the room with you. Take a moment to think about recent conversations or encounters with other women. When you were alone, were you more likely to give her that second look? Were you more likely to engage in conversation that one would say was more than professional or friendly? When you think back on those times, would your wife had approved of your actions? Would Jesus?

Early in my own marriage I struggled with this concept. I mean it wasn't too long ago that I was single and free to do and say as I pleased, but now I was married. As my wife and I were together much more often, I started to realize my wife's responses when I engaged in conversation with other women. She started to let me know when I was coming across "flirty" rather than "friendly." At first I didn't understand and was even offended, but I came to realize that if the way I acted towards other women made her feel uncomfortable, then I needed to change.

I have come to learn after almost 10 years of marriage that the way I act around other women when I am with my wife is the way I need to act around them all the time.

2. Strive not to meet alone. I am fully aware that this step may not always be possible in a professional type setting, but even in this type of setting certain precautions can be taken to protect the integrity of both you and your co-worker. For example, you could leave your door open. You could attempt to meet in a place that is quiet but is still open to the public. You could invite a trusted colleague to join the conversation. There are always options, so don't make excuses that there are none.

Have you ever had an experience where you and your friends were supposed to all meet up and hang out, and you find out quickly that only you and a female friend showed up? What did you do or would you do? I honestly can't think of any good reason to stay there and " hang out" with her. Even if she is a trusted friend who knows your wife, both she and you should respect each other enough to say your good byes and reschedule with the group. I don't call this type of situation dishonoring to the friend, I call this honoring her and my marriage.

And if this does happen, I would still let my wife know about the situation. 

3. Call your wife to ask/confirm details. Guys, I personally feel that this is one of the most important things to remember when encountering other women. I look at this point in two ways. One, you may be put in a situation where you don't have a choice in the matter. In terms of work, you may need to be in a particular meeting with another woman or you may be told to take a long ride or trip with another woman. In these cases, you need to be honest about the details and the activities and you need to man up in terms of staying professional and friendly only. And second, there may be those moments when you have a choice in the matter. A woman asks you for a ride, what do you do? Well, it's pretty simple, you either explain that you're uncomfortable with the situation and explain why and she is mature enough to understand or you call your wife and review her feelings on the situation. What would you do?

Here's a good question to keep in mind. "Is what I am about to do or where I am about to go something I feel comfortable sharing with my wife?"

4. Guard your online/texting activity. In all of the other points, we have really discussed actual, physical occurrences like what to do when you're with your wife, how to handle actual situations at work or with friends. But what we can't miss is the online or texting activity. As smart devices and social media get bigger, this will only become a larger area of concern in our marriages.

Here are a few ways I've chosen to handle online activity. One, I have chosen to not accept certain friend requests by women that I have known very well or use to be attracted to in the past. Even if they are married or single, I honestly don't need to know what there up to these days or hear about any issues they might be experiencing. Another option is to accept the requests, but to be very cautious in the way you approach the relationship. Earlier in my marriage, I had an old female friend hit me up online.

At first it was just about the past, but as things went on in the conversation, she started to tell me more personal and up to date issues in her life. STOP! Yes, this is where my wife stopped me. From then on, if I am approached via message or text, my wife gets alerted first. And if it does need a response, I include my wife's opinions and thoughts in my response.

Online activity and texting may make it easier to cheat, but it also makes it easier to get caught.

5. View the relationship similar to your mother, sister or daughter. Wow, every time I think about this point, God really makes me consider my actions towards other women. As I was the youngest child with two older sisters, I can really relate to this idea. And I don't think this point applies to the points mentioned above, but deals more with the heart of the situation. As I say we, as married men, should be careful and take certain precautions around recently separated or single women; I also know there is a heart aspect to it all.

My relationships with my mother and two sisters are not really of close friendship anymore (as I've moved away years ago), but instead is one of love and grace. No matter what happens or no matter how long it's been since I've seen them, I still strive to show them love and grace in the moments we are together. The only person I can relate to with that is Jesus Christ. It didn't matter whom he came into contact with, the blind, the crazy, the prostitutes, etc. He always chose to show love and give grace. We can do the same in these relationships.

All the women you encounter are daughters of God and should be treated as such. If thinking about them in terms of sister, mother or daughter helps; then pursue that option. As you pursue to honor God and your marriage first, and engage in the nine points listed, always do it under the umbrella of love and grace.

As I said before, I challenge every man to consider each point and take the necessary steps to strengthen his marriage!

source: charismamag.com

Relationship: How God Can Heal Your S*xual Hurt

God should be our first choice and not our last resort when it comes to healing our sexual hurt. This pain and ache is not something we can easily or quickly figure out or fix all by ourselves.

Time doesn't heal all wounds but God does. How? There is no sexual experience, memory, temptation or addiction that is too strong for Him. His grace is greater than our sin or sadness. Here are 10 reasons to include God in your deepest wounds or darkest secrets in life:

1. God knows what sex can do. He knows that sex can be beautiful or horrible. It can be exhilarating or humiliating, delightful or disgusting. It can bond a couple together and it can tear a person apart. God knows how we can be deeply hurt by unwanted sexual experiences and also by mutually consenting adults. He invented it and knows that it's just not as casual as we think. He knows how it hurts you now.

2. God wrote a book for you. Reality TV is nothing compared to the real life stories in the Bible! God included family sexual dysfunction, honeymoon night romance, violent rape scenes, tender physical fondling, seductive deadly attraction, sneaky sexual assault and devastating emotional trauma. It's all there in the Bible to let us know that God is not a prude but keeps it real and has real answers for us.

3. God knows what you went through. You think He wasn't there when it happened but He was. Nothing escapes Him. You weren't alone then and you're not alone now. He knows all the exact details of who, how, when, why, where and how long—more than anyone else. He can give you clarity and closure like none other. Include Him in your healing because He knows everything that happened to you.

4. God does what we can't do. He offers you strength and peace that the world can't give to you. No self-help book can accomplish what He can do. No one can whisper to you the truths He will tell you when you're quiet in His presence. If He can calm a raging storm, walk on water, make blind people see, get the lame to walk and raise the dead—is there anything God can't do in helping you to heal today?

5. God knows what hurt feels like. Jesus was betrayed and abandoned by people who promised loyalty and protection, much like we are. He was stripped naked, physically violated and sexually humiliated. Maybe the same happened to you ... He was acquainted with grief and a man of sorrows. He's been there and done that with life's trauma, injustices and suffering. He hurt just like we do now.

6. God came to bring you life. He came to bring freedom to those who are held captive. Does that describe how you feel today? You can't forget and you won't forgive. It doesn't go away ... Jesus came to rescue us from thoughts that will destroy us. His truth will set you free and He will guide you into truth. God is not the killjoy; rather, He came to give joy. He brings light to those who are living in darkness.

7. One day, He will right all wrongs. It's tough to handle your hurt because it seems like you lose and they win. They got away with it and fooled everyone. Maybe they're still fooling people to this day. Remember, it will all be reversed. Those who do or did wrong will not get away with their secrets or sins. One day, everything will be exposed. One day, He will wipe away all your tears and erase the memories.

8. Your heart is in His hands. That's great news to know that it's not all up to you to heal yourself. God can restore and soften your heart. Jesus told us we would find rest in Him for our weary souls and heavy burdens. He can mend our hearts to be strong again and mold our heart so you feel clean once again. You may feel like you are damaged goods but God can help you see you are a new creation in Christ. There is no human heart that is too addicted or wounded for Him to change. It's what He does best.

9. Forgiveness comes from God. This is probably the last thing you want to think about at this time. Sooner or later though—when you're ready—there will come a time when it will be wise and healthy for you to forgive the person who deceived or disappointed you. You'll need God's help to do this because an apology will probably never come from the lips of the person who hurt you so deeply. Jesus talked a lot about forgiveness and extended it to people who abused and assaulted Him on the way to the cross. He'll show you how to forgive the person/s who changed your life so you can get on with life afresh.

10. His ways are above our ways. People let us down. They disappoint us, deceive us and some even try to destroy us. God is in a totally different category. He doesn't lie and He doesn't leave. And He doesn't stop loving His children. He will never do anything wrong to you. He is someone you can finally trust. He might actually be the only person you will ever trust in your life as a result of the sexual hurt. Maybe you were treated sexually horribly as a child. Your Father in heaven is different. Maybe your significant other took advantage of you, betrayed you, left you or scarred you. Your Bridegroom in heaven is different. When you've got shattered dreams, broken promises, family dysfunction, panic attacks, powerful addictions, health issues, overwhelming rage, childhood lost, trust stolen, false guilt or permanent memories, God is your very best shot in this life of becoming completely whole again.

Source:charismamag.com