Wife Must Submit, and So Must the Husband! Read

In marriage, God requires us to submit to Him first and then to each other. For those whom this truth

irritates, this post is specifically for you. Now that I have your attention, let's ask some questions.

In the many marriage conferences I have attended over the last few years, I always hear about the longstanding debate where the wife must submit to her husband. This, of course, always brings up some tension, mainly among the ladies in the crowd. The men nod their heads, of course, but are quickly sustained. 

I also hear a lot of confusion on this topic with couples who are struggling in their marriage. Typically, the husband is trying to drive home the point that she must submit to him, not even knowing where it's written or how to actually define it, and the wife will naturally fight against his wishes, she, again, not knowing the rules on submission or love. So what are the rules?

What Does the Dictionary Say?

• Submit: "to give over or yield to the power or authority of another"
• Love: "a profoundly tender and passionate affection for another person"
• Respect: "to hold in esteem or honor"

These definitions sound like the type of relationship we all need to have with Jesus. Agreed? Now, what about our marriages?

What does the Bible say about submission and love?

The standard for this information can be found in Ephesians 5:21-33. The big verse that stands out for wives and submission is verse 22: "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." The next big verse that stands out is verse 24, which says, "Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

The big verse that stands out for the husbands and love is verse 25: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her." The next big one is verse 28: "In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."

These verses bring up the exact points that wives are to submit to their husbands and husbands are to love their wives. Note that their is no hierarchy mentioned here in these verses. There are different roles mentioned, but they are equal. This might be the key point.

To put these verses in a better perspective, I made this infographic below to help you understand those Scriptures. Review the graphic and then review your marriage and relationship with Jesus. What are you waiting for?

 

The infographic helped me understand the connections between our roles in marriage and our roles in our relationship with Jesus. All at the same level, the wife must submit to her husband just as the church submits to Jesus, and the husband must love his wife just as Jesus loves the church. Do you agree with this graphic? Expand on your thoughts in the comments.

Is that it? Are husbands exempt from any form of submission?

Absolutely not. In fact, if you read all of the verses in the Ephesians passage above you, would see that the first verse says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Another hot verse on submission can be found in James 4:7, which reads, "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you."

These verses make it clear that both men and women, married or not, must learn how to submit to God. If you take the initiative to be submissive to God and understand what it means, you will be able to better apply the principles in your own relationship or marriage. Starting to make sense?

So, what is the bottom line? It's simple: Both spouses must learn the details on submission and love. Jesus sets the example for us in the Scriptures, and you must learn to live them out in your own marriage.

In the case of submission, yes, the wives must learn how to submit to their husbands according to the Scripture. But in the same sense and on the same level, husbands must learn how to love their wives according to the Scripture.

If you are personally living out the principles in your walk with Jesus, it will be much easier to live out these principles in your own marriage. As we are all the body of Christ, we are all one flesh. As a married couple, we are and have become one flesh.

So, here's your challenge:

• Husbands, ask your wife today how you can love her better.
• Wives, ask your husband today how you can submit to or respect him better.

What aspect of love or submission do you struggle with in your own marriage? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

by Manturity

IMPROVING SELF CONFIDENCE

Are you the type of person who easily get influenced by negative advice? Follow this short self

confidence lesson.

When Henry Ward Beecher was a young boy in school, he learned a lesson in self confidence which he never forgot.

He was called upon to recite in front of the class. He had hardly begun when the teacher interrupted with an emphatic, “No!”

He started over and again the teacher thundered, “No!” Humiliated, Henry sat down.

The next boy rose to recite and had just begun when the teacher shouted, “No!”

This student, however, kept on with the recitation until he completed it. As he sat down, the teacher replied, “Very good!”

Henry was irritated. ”I recited just as he did,” he complained to the teacher.

But the instructor replied, “It is not enough to know your lesson, you must be sure. When you allowed me to stop you, it meant that you were uncertain. If the world says, ‘No!’ it is your business to say, ‘Yes!’ and prove it.

Henry Ward Beecher, a prominent Congregationalist clergyman, social reformer, abolitionist, and speaker in the mid to late 19th century.

The world will say, ‘No!’ in a thousand ways.

‘No! You can’t do that.’

‘No! You are wrong.’

‘No! You are too old.’

‘No! You are too young.’

‘No! You are too weak.’

‘No! It will never work.’

‘No! You don’t have the education.’

‘No! You don’t have the background.’

‘No! You don’t have the money.’

‘No! It can’t be done.’

And each ‘No!’ you hear has the potential to erode your confidence bit by bit until you quit all together.

Though the world says, ‘No!’ to you today, you should be determined to say, ‘Yes!’ and prove it! ”

Any moral lessons learnt? Please share with the rest of the world.

5 Ways Home Remedies For Eliminating Pimples

Pimples or zits are a common skin problem among adolescents and adults.

They are caused when the sebaceous glands (oil glands) on the skin get infected with bacteria and swell up with puss. Pimples usually occur on the face, back and shoulders and can be quite an unpleasant sight. However, you can use these easy home remedies to treat pimples
Ice
Use ice quickly on a newly rising pimple to soothe it. This will help improve blood circulation to the affected area and will also freeze the skin pores. It also helps remove dirt and oil collected on the skin, thereby healing the pimple.

Lemon
Lemon juice is rich in vitamin C and is extremely effective in getting rid of pimples. Lemon juice helps the pimple dry up fast. You can directly use a little lemon juice on a cotton swab and apply it on your face before bed and wash it off the next morning.

Toothpaste
Many people have sworn about the effectiveness of toothpaste on a pimple. Use a little toothpaste on the pimple before bed and allow it to stay overnight then wash it off in the morning. You will see a significant reduction in the size and swelling of the pimple.

Tomato
Tomato is high in antioxidants and acts as an amazing natural astringent to treat inflamed pimples. Just dab a little tomato juice on the affected area and allow it to stay on for about 20 minutes before you wash it off.

Garlic
Garlic has antiviral, antifungal, antiseptic and antioxidant properties, which can help treat pimples. Freshly cut garlic can effectively help heal pimples quickly. Cut up fresh garlic and rub it on your pimples for five minutes before washing your skin with lukewarm water. Repeat this routine several times to keep your skin pimple free.

7 Secrets to Keeping Your Marriage Hot

When I married my wife, Deborah, 30 years ago I had a tiny salary and no money in the bank, so our honeymoon was a budget affair: four nights in Miami Beach, four nights in Orlando, and then back to work. Deborah didn't complain at all, but I always wanted to make it up to her. So this week we are enjoying an anniversary trip to Hawaii—and thinking a lot about God's faithfulness.

How do two people stay in love for 30 years? I don't consider myself a marriage expert, but I can tell you what has worked for us—and what I always advise the younger people I mentor:

1. Pray together. Marriage is more than an emotional and sexual union. It's a deep spiritual bond. I believe the best way a couple can nurture that connection is to pray together regularly. Set aside time each week to pray for your children, extended family members, financial challenges and life decisions. Pray even more often when you are going through difficult spiritual battles. Prayer will knit your hearts like nothing else.

2. Avoid resentment. All couples fight from time to time, but if you don't learn how to kiss and make up, your marriage will unravel. Marriage is like a school of forgiveness. Paul's rule to the Ephesians, "Do not let the sun go down on your anger" (Eph. 4:26, NASB), is best applied by husbands and wives. When your spouse hurts you, talk about it, forgive and let it go. Don't keep a list of offenses. If you bury your resentments without resolving them, they will explode like land mines later.

3. Treat each other as equals. Many Christian men believe they are the "head" of the marriage, and they assume this means they can boss their wives around and demand submission. This can lead to physical or verbal abuse, and it is one of the primary reasons so many Christian marriages end in divorce. The Bible actually tells husbands to treat their wives as "fellow heir[s] of the grace of life" (1 Pet. 3:7). If you view your wife as inferior, or if you order her around like she's under your control, you are guilty of abuse. A husband's "headship," as defined by Ephesians 5:23, requires him to be humble, tender and sacrificial not macho or bossy.

4. Stay involved in a church community. Many couples try to survive in isolation. Either the husband has no friends or the wife has no support network. And I know many couples that don't have mentors to talk to when they hit rough patches in their relationship. This is dangerous! If I started going off course spiritually, I know my wife would immediately call some of our close friends—and one of them would be at my doorstep demanding my repentance. I have given my friends permission to get in my face! Accountability provides a safety net for your marriage.

5. Keep dating each other. The Bible tells guys, "Rejoice in the wife of your youth" (Prov. 5:18) and then goes farther to say, "Be exhilarated always with her love" (v. 19). That exhilaration might be easy during your honeymoon, but what about when babies arrive, bills pile up, the workload at your job increases and the kids need braces and car insurance? The sizzle can turn to ice if you don't spend the time necessary to regularly stoke the fire of romance. When we had four little kids at home, my wife and I always tried to go on a date every week—even when we didn't need the extra expense of a babysitter. We still try to live by this rule now that we are empty nesters. If you invest in your marriage now, you will reap the rewards later.

6. Maintain sexual intimacy. I have counseled many married guys with sexual problems, including porn addiction and adultery. In almost every case, these men stopped having regular sex at home before their problems began. Sex is a totally natural part of marriage, and it is unhealthy for couples to deprive each other of sex or to use it as a manipulative weapon. Paul told the Corinthians, "The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and also the wife to her husband" (1 Cor. 7:3). Healthy sex is like glue that holds a marriage together.

7. Honor your vows. Many couples in the church today don't have a clear understanding of what a marriage covenant means. We pay a lot of money for weddings, and we take a lot of expensive photos so we can remember the moment. We say our vows in front of an altar, and those vows are solemnly confirmed by a pastor holding a Bible. But many couples still don't take their vows seriously. Marriage is a promise made in the very presence of God! If we view that vow casually, or if we don't keep God at the center of our relationship, a marriage can go from hot to cold in a matter of months.

My wife keeps some of our framed wedding photos on the wall of our family room. Even though the 1980s hairstyles and clothes are horribly out of date, we display those pictures to remind ourselves that we made a covenant with God and with each other on April 28, 1984. We invited Him to make us one, and we know that the grace He gave us to stay married for 30 years can last a lifetime. He can do the same for you.

By J. Lee Grady

Covering Or Cover-up?

TEXT: LUKE 12:1-12

KEY VERSE: “For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known” (Luke 12:2).

Addressing a huge crowd that had gathered to listen to Him, our Lord Jesus Christ underscored the importance of living an open life. Man’s acts, whether expressed outwardly or covered in thought, are being recorded. On an appointed day in eternity, they will be played back. Thus, Jesus warns us to flee from the sin of hypocrisy since there is nothing hidden now that shall forever remain hidden. He condemned the hypocrisy of the Pharisees and attitude of fear of man but counselled that we should fear God who is able to kill and condemn the soul to hell.

The three issues are interwoven as the fear of one thing or another prompts men to either cover up their actions, manifest hypocrisy, exhibit crookedness in behaviour or tardiness toward any noble cause if they realise it would task them. Why tell lies because of the fear of being prosecuted or cover up misdeed for fear of losing respect or public approval?

We could see how mindful God is of minute details as Jesus sought to enlighten us that those tiny birds don’t die without God’s knowledge and that even the hairs of our heads are numbered. If therefore those small birds are so highly prized by God the Maker, then we humans are much more highly prized and recognised – a point He made to douse our anxieties about getting our needs met. Too much care for our safety, according to Him, shows how anxious we are, how unaware of God’s knowledge about our existence as individuals and how less thoughtful we are of God’s unfailing protection or covering over us.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: The Omnipresence of God mocks hypocrisy.

Why Married Men Must Dump Their Secret Crush

Oh, you don’t know who the secret crush is in your life? Well, maybe that’s because you have become too comfortable with looking forward to seeing the daycare girl, the grocery girl, the after work girl or even the church girl. Still not following?

Here’s some background …

My buddy told me a story the other day about a married friend of his who had a “daycare girl,” and, yes, it was at the church daycare. Each time this married man would show up to church, he would gladly take the kids over to the daycare.

Why? Because he wanted to see his “hush” crush. In other words, he looked forward to seeing a woman that worked there that hit all the right points in him. Something about her drew him in, in the worst way. I can’t verify if it was her look, her fragrance, her long or short hair, or just her personality. It was something though. That something was slowly destroying his marriage and he couldn’t even see it.

Personally…

I can’t sit here and type and say that I have never struggled in this area. Early in my marriage and before I truly understood the consequences, I would somehow spot a beautiful woman. If I was at work, I’d get distracted with one woman in particular. If I went out with friends to a restaurant, a particular waitress might catch my eye and, you guessed it, I’d keep going back for looks.

It required no communication between the two of us, the looking and wondering was enough. These innocent occasions became a primary contributor to the decay of my marriage. At the time, “I didn’t know or understand,” was a convenient excuse. But now I know and NOW I take action to protect my marriage. Oh, and by the way, NOW you know TOO! Keep reading…

Who might not understand?

First off, the newlywed man might not get what I’m saying. Why? Because when marriage is new and fresh, his bride is every bit his crush. In most cases, both spouses have attempted to be at the top of their game for each other. And there is very little history to make you want or think you need another woman.

Hear my words newlywed men, do everything you can to protect your marriage right from the start. Understand that looking at other women with lustful eyes will only damage the view you have for your bride. No matter what, do everything you can to make her the only woman gaining your affection. If you find yourself being brought into the beauty of another woman, do what you can to control your emotions, get out of the situation.

The second type of man who might not understand is the man in denial. Typically, this will be the man who has been married for some time. The years have maybe taken its toll on the marriage and there is plenty of history to use as excuses. He might have one woman in particular he likes, or he might have multiples set up at different areas.

Hear my words, men. “Stop, look and listen. Are you in denial about the habits, thoughts and actions that are threatening your marriage? Are you blatantly permitting your marriage to be destroyed? Just because the years have rolled on, a nuclear argument had occurred, or the communication has dried up, doesn’t permit us to fix  our issues by finding someone else.

Find help now! Get out of your comfort zone and talk about your marriage concerns with a trustworthy and stable married male friend or pastor. Hiding your problems will only seek to force you out of your comfort zone in a much more costly way. Let him know what has been going on in your marriage and seek to find a resolution to your problems. Whatever you do, do not seek advice on how to fix your marriage from one of the women you secretly (or openly) like. 

 What does the Word say?

A great section of verses for this type of scenario can be found in Mathew 19:1-10. The Pharisees are doing their classic test questions against Jesus about the topics of marriage and divorce.

Jesus responded with some critical information for them and for us. Having a secret crush is plain out sexual immorality. This is one of the only reasons it is acceptable to entertain divorce. Another important thing to note is that husbands are to cleave to their wife. Husbands are to become one with their wife, not their secret crush. Dig in and read the rest of this verse section if you haven’t yet. Start praying now that if you’re in this scenario, God would bring closure and clarity to your situation.

What’s the Bottom Line?

Your wife should be the only crush you have in your life (other than Jesus). She is the one you chose to say your Vows to and she is the one you swore your love to for the rest of your life. To seek a crush elsewhere would question your very integrity. It would violate the very laws of what it means to be a good and faithful husband.

In case you didn’t read the above paragraphs and need to know why your secret crush could destroy your marriage. Here are 3 reasons why you need to stop seeing her and 3 ways to help you in the future:

Why you need to stop seeing her now:

1. Because you’re are a one-woman man, and your wife deserves your all.

2. Because a secret crush will destroy you and your marriage (matter of time)

3. Because Jesus has made you one flesh with your wife. To betray your wife would be to betray Jesus.

3 tools to help you in the future:

1. Open up and be honest about your situation with a friend now. Confess it, explain it, seek forgiveness and start working past it.

2. The next time the opportunity comes up to see her. Man Up and either get in and get out or request that your wife handle the situation or duty at hand.

3. Get humble and start praying for your wife and your marriage. Make your focus more on Jesus and your wife. It will change everything.

What are some ways you’re able to avoid distractions and stay focused on your marriage?

By Manturity

When You Think or Feel Forgotten

I remember being in second grade and sleeping in an attic bedroom. I felt alone, scared and disconnected from my mom, stepfather and my brother—my father's biological child.

I remember being in sixth grade and feeling too chubby and awkward for anyone to like me. I wondered if I could ever capture a guy's attention or a guy's heart. 

I remember being a senior in high school, but instead of being at school I was sitting at home, depressed and pregnant. My boyfriend already had a new girlfriend. I wondered if there would ever be a man who would love me and my child.

And during each of those times, I prayed. I prayed to belong. I prayed to be chosen. I prayed to be worthy of a lifelong commitment.

I'd forgotten about those times until just this morning, when I read in Bible about Joseph locked in prison. Joseph hadn't done anything wrong. God had even granted him the ability to interpret the dreams of the chief baker and cupbearer. Joseph only asked for one thing: not to be forgotten. He simply wanted the men whom he helped to remember him and offer help in return. But it didn't happen.

"Pharaoh's chief cup-bearer, however, forgot all about Joseph, never giving him another thought" (Gen. 40:23, NLT).

Joseph may have felt forgotten for a time, but God remembered him. God knew exactly where Joseph was. God was with him, and when the season of Joseph's kingdom service came, God helped the chief cupbearer to remember him, too, and within days Joseph went from prison cell to palace seat.

Do you feel forgotten?

Have you prayed to belong? Have you prayed to be chosen? Have you prayed for a spouse, a child or a long-desired dream?

People may forget. You may have pushed your prayers to the back of your mind, but God remembers.

We have to trust God even when we feel forgotten: "Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!" (Hab. 3:17-18).

And in your waiting, also have the faith to look ahead: "'The time will come,' says the Lord, 'when the grain and grapes will grow faster than they can be harvested. Then the terraced vineyards on the hills of Israel will drip with sweet wine!" (Amos 9:13).

Do you feel forgotten? God remembers.

Do you feel alone? God remembers.

Do you feel that someone who should be on your side isn't giving you another thought? God is there.

Keep turning to Him. Keep praying. In the right moment, God's timing will come and His purpose will be displayed. You will enjoy a harvest of blessings in a way you couldn't have experienced unless you'd walked through the silent days.

Now, how about you? When is a time that you felt forgotten? How did God show up? 

By Tricia Goyer