Do you want to have God at the center of your dating
relationship? Would you like God to influence the love you show another person?
Here is some advice that can help you pursue God’s will in your dating
relationship.
1. Remember that God’s Love is
the ultimate. Knowing the love God has for you means that you do not have
to seek fulfillment in how anyone makes you feel (a weakness of human
love): the most perfect love comes from God, and it is always yours. He will do
much more to fill the love-space than a person ever could. Approach
your dating relationship knowing that God likes you and loves you,
and there is plenty room for wonders of love, marriage, mature family love,
i.e.: constancy (not fickleness) thus enabling you to build and love your own
family, of course. (Christians: Always remember He sent His son,Jesus, to die for your sins.) Make sure
you are strong in your loving relationship with God. This means knowing that He
is always there to help you along the way. Trust Him. Make God
the most important in your life. Make Him the love of your life.
2. Know the ideal match for you. Date
someone that you would consider marrying. Choose a person that has a similar
desire for God, one that will build you up in your faith. If you are already in
a relationship, positively encourage one another in pursuing God. Help your
boyfriend or girlfriend to keep God the focus. Understand that Christians are
not to be "unequally yolked" that is, if they are not willing to
accept the faith, the relationship might have to be sacrificed.
3. Pray. Pray about your
dating relationship. Give everything over to God. Let God know that you are
asking His approval. Talk to God about the problems that arise. Thank Him for
the opportunity to be in a relationship and the happy times you experience. You
can also pray with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It is a good way to help each
other out with whatever stresses life brings. By praying together, you are
experiencing God together. Though, it could make the focus more about you two
building intimacy still there is a tendency to bring out one another's faults
in prayer; therefore, avoid prodding, interrogating, judging; instead, help
each other in order to build trust; love and forgive each other as the Lord's
Prayer models for us.
4. Talk about God. Make an effort to bring God
into your conversations. Not only will it help in keeping God on your minds,
you will also find out about each others beliefs. Talking about a spiritual
subject changes normal conversation into one of eternal significance.
Discussing God also allows you to build up each others knowledge and confidence.
5. Read the Bible. Keeping God’s words in your
heart helps you to remember the love and promises He has for you. Try reading
the Bible together. It is fun, spiritual and good for conversation. Different
verses will help you along the way in your relationship.
6. Get involved with Church. Make sure your
boyfriend or girlfriend and you are active in the body of Christ. You will feel
good about sharing God’s love. He calls us to serve Him.
7. Be careful with physical affection. Hugs are great. God created physical affection to be
good. But be careful in how much physical permission you give one another. A
relationship can easily turn sinful if physical bonding occurs too quickly.
Everyone is different. But if you feel guilty at all for actions, it may be
good indication that you are going too far. Avoid physical actions that might
cause lustful thoughts (such as sitting on lap, laying on each other or sensual
kissing and massages). Save sex for marriage. Talk about your physical actions
with each other, making sure you are both comfortable and feeling great.
Understand what might be innocent to one or another might very well be
dangerous to you.
8. Show Christ’s love to each
other. Make sacrifices for each other. Watch a chick flick. Go to a
basketball game. Be willing to serve one another. Put one another above
yourselves. Find how to show love to each other. Use the love God has shown you
and bring it to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
9.Bring out all of "The 'Fruit' of the
Spirit": notice it is not fruits, we are not to pick
and choose the ones we prefer. This will work to relieve stress in
relationships in this World of troubles.
·
Cheerfully
realize this is a package not bits or pieces: "Love, joy, peace,
long-suffering (patience), gentleness (kindness), goodness, meekness
(gentleness), faith (faithfulness) and temperance (self-control)... Against
such things there is no law.", Galatians 5:22-23 KJV (parentheses NIV).[1] Read
those again and again...
10. Have Fun and Praise and Glorify God. Smile and know that God
is with you. Enjoy the life that God has given the both of you. Whenever you
get the chance, praise God for whatever He has poured into your life. Trust and
know that God has your back. He wants what is best for the both of you.
11. Cherish your own personal God time. Make sure
you spend time alone with God. You need moments of reading the Bible,
journaling or praying just between you and God. Since God is your ultimate
love, it is good to have that time alone with Him.
12. Keep in mind the reality that God is real. While
having a special someone can bring great happiness in this world, realizing the
eternally wonderful nature of God’s love is something you do not want to miss.
God is real. His love is real. God is love. Realize that God is working in your
life right now. His forgiveness is real and His promises are real. Give the
love God has given you to your boyfriend or girlfriend. God’s love is perfect.
Let Christ’s love reign in your dating relationship. Let the love you have for each
other be a banner to the world displaying God’s goodness. Remember though,
"You are not your own, you were bought at a price" - therefore God
must reign in your relationships. We are called to be holy, because He is holy.
We might very well have to "honor [our] father and mother, [our] wife and
children, [our] brothers and sisters--yes, even [our] own life--"; our
dating relationships are no exception. Remember, as C.S. Lewis has said, that
love that becomes a god, becomes a demon. Submit all your love, therefore, to
the one that is Love, and He, like a gardener, shall prune our loves which are
so fickle and temporary by nature, into beautiful gardens which we may share
with all our relationships including our dating relationships.
By Maluani
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