Relationship: Resolve to Get a Better Marriage in 2015

Jenifer and I have been planning for months to start blogging together in order to give both male and

female perspectives of common issues that families face. We will even tackle some difficult "conflicts" in the future. We've been through 25 years of marriage and family life, and we want to use our experience to provide help for the masses. Anyway, this is our first stab at a "he said/she said" blog. We hope it gets you thinking.

What's Your New Year's Resolution?

Typical New Year's resolutions are about diet, fitness and general self-improvement stuff. While those things are worth looking into, we want to invite you to consider making a specific resolution that centers around getting a better marriage than the one you have now.

If your spouse has ever disappointed you (and what spouse hasn't?), you have likely been tempted to dump him or her and find a new one. We invite you to consider a better option: Put the energy required to get a new spouse (the diet, fitness and self-improvement stuff mentioned earlier), and instead improve the marriage you currently have. We have provided some suggestions below—ideas for guys from Barrett and ideas for the ladies from Jenifer. In the spirit of getting a "different and better" marriage, we made our suggestions deliberately provocative. We hope a few of these make your list of resolutions for 2015.

Resolve to Get a Better Marriage

Resolution #1 for Husbands: Start a New Romance

Barrett: You know all those romantic things you did back in the day to "woo" your wife? Those things that you aren't doing much of any more? You need to commit to doing them again. Because she expects them.

I know that Jenifer does. She has every reason to believe that the volume of attention and affection I poured on her to make her fall in love with me will continue until the day I die. Romantic love is the air that most women breathe, so you need to figure out that what that means to your spouse.

Even in the area of sex, you need to redouble your efforts to be a creative and generous lover. Most women are interested in sex, but they need to be romanced, and they need to feel safe. And they need to be pursued. So focus on the girl and resolve to become a hopeless romantic once again.

Resolution #1 for Wives: Ask God to Bring a Better Spouse Into Your Life

Jenifer: Too many times, I have expectations of Barrett that I never verbalize. They are my unrealistic thoughts that usually start with, "If he really loved me, he would ____ right now." Rarely does he come through. Alone with my thoughts, it makes me wonder if someone else might magically love me better.

I've had to ask God to remind me that I am married to a well-intentioned man. The best thing I can do is communicate my expectations and pray that he would deliver. I also have to remember that God has provided me the perfect spouse that is necessary for my own spiritual growth. Ultimately, the better spouse that you need is the one you're married to. Resolve to being patient because your man is a work in progress. Just like you are!

Resolution #2 for Husbands: Take a Weekend Away With a Woman Who Isn't a Stressed-Out Mom

Barrett: If you are married to a stressed-out mom, it's probably because that's where she lives 24/7. Your wife is often physically tired and emotionally drained. She will stay that way until you do something drastic to remind her that she's still the lover and friend that first captured your heart so long ago.

When Jenifer and I are caught up in the craziness of life and are not connecting as a couple, one of our go-to solutions is to plan a night or a weekend away. Priceline and VRBO are great resources. It's our way of remembering why we fell in love in the first place.

Breaking the monotony and discovering someplace new together enables us to discover each other again. When I initiate this and put it on the calendar six weeks out, it gives us both something to look forward to. It's not as expensive as you think, and the payoff is enormous. Early in 2015, resolve to "enjoy the wife of your youth" by taking the mother of your kids away for some quality time together.

Resolution #2 for Wives: Trade in Your Dull Husband for a More Energized One

Jenifer: When Barrett's temperament seems melancholy or he seems unmotivated in our relationship, I am amazed at how easily I can energize him with affirming words. When I show him respect and build him up in practical ways, he comes alive. Watching my daughters interact with the young men in their lives, I am reminded of just how much every guy needs that.

From the littlest boy to the most mature senior adult, respect is the air that men breathe. If your natural tendency is to criticize his character or undermine his leadership, his heart will suffer and so will your marriage. In contrast, when you resolve to bless your husband with sincere admiration and appreciation, he will truly come alive."

Resolution #3 for Husbands: Be Okay With the Fact That The Woman You Are With Is Very Different Than the One You Married

Barrett: Over 25 years of marriage, Jenifer has evolved and changed in a million different ways. At times it can be frustrating trying to keep up with the woman she is becoming. The reality is that you married a moving target. And that's OK.

As a relatively static man married to an ever-changing woman, you have to put on your big-boy pants and adjust. You have to realize that her dynamic movement through the different stages of life is what keeps her interesting and keeps you dependent upon God for help. Resolve to be curious of where she is in life and be committed to learning what she needs most from you.

Resolution #3 for Wives: Realize that You Might Need to Start Your Marriage Over Again

Jenifer: You have to admit that there are likely seasons in every marriage when your anger and bitterness toward your husband makes you want to begin again. You can do that by trading in your husband for a new one (which is very complicated and expensive and comes with generational implications) or by forgiving the one you have. Grudges can lead to bitterness, and your husband feels it.

If you live that way long enough you will drive him away and burn yourself up from the inside out. When I have felt that way about Barrett, the only thing that resolved it was forgiveness. In those moments, I have to make the choice to forgive, even when my emotions don't feel like it.

Make no mistake: It is never easy, and God has to do a fresh work in my heart. But Hedoes do it. The huge blessing comes in the days afterward as my emotions catch up to my obedience. Offering undeserved forgiveness to my husband models exactly what Christ did for me. It changes everything. Perhaps your New Year's resolution should be to graciously hit the "reset button" in your marriage.

Start 2015 by Reflecting on the Good Things of 2014

As one year ends and another begins, we tend to focus on our regrets. We think: "I have to resolve to get this thing right next year because I didn't measure up last year." Resolutions are great, but don't forget to take time to reflect on the good things from last year. Focus on the wins. Celebrate how your kids have grown and changed. Praise God for His faithfulness. Mountaintop moments are awesome, but the reality is that life is lived out in a million little steps forward.

End this year with a celebration of how far God has taken you. Then commit yourself to being the husband or wife or parent that only God can create in you. Depend on His enabling power and make a few realistic resolutions to bring some fresh, new life to your marriage.

Source: charismamag.com

Prayer for the new week

May your day be filled with peace,prosperity and love. May God's blessings shower upon you and may you experience goodness every day by day. I Pray that you will be fruitful wherever you are, and that you will flourish and prosper and every limitation is broken. 

The barren will give birth, there shall be no miscarriages anywhere. You shall be fruitful wherever you go. "I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing" (Gen 12:2) this shall be yours and loved one in Jesus name.

Happy new week ! From ASB-World

LOOK TO JESUS

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Hebrews 12:1-2

In the Greek games, a judge would stand at the finish line holding, in plain sight, the laurel leaves that would be rewarded to the victor.

As runners came down the final stretch, they were exhausted, tired, and feeling as though they couldn't go another step. But suddenly there was the prize in sight, and a new burst of energy would kick in.

This is the picture behind the phrase "looking unto Jesus" in Hebrews 12:2. We have to keep our eyes on Jesus Christ. And our prize is the privilege of standing before Him and receiving the crown of righteousness that He will give us.

That is why we live the Christian life, why we try to live godly lives, and why we try to reach people for Him. It isn't for earthly riches. It isn't for applause. It isn't for notoriety. It is so we can hear Jesus say to us on that final day, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

It isn't to earn His approval, because as believers, we already have found it. But it is to ultimately say, "Lord, I took the life you gave me and tried to make a difference. Here it is. I offer it to you." "Looking unto Jesus.. .. "

That is what keeps you going even when the going gets though. You can get discouraged at times. People will let you down.

They will disappoint you. They won't appreciate your hard work. They won't see your efforts. They won't see your real motives.

So they will criticize you. That is when you remind yourself, "I am not running for any human being. I am running for the Lord. And I will never give up. I will keep running till I see His face."

Prayer: I look up to You, Lord, my strength, the author and finisher of my faith.

Scriptural Reading: Hebrews 12:1-13

Ten Truths That Will Change Your Life in 2015

Are you a New Year's resolution maker? I'm not.

Over the years, I've found the tradition of vowing to change at the start of the New Year to be an exercise in disappointment. Every year, my diets fail, my habits stay the same, and my resolutions to do things differently fall flat.
Maybe that's because I've been focusing on the wrong things.

There's nothing wrong with making the choice to be healthier or try new things at the start of a new year. But, this year I'm feeling motivated to make changes that truly matter. I want the same for you.

As I think about you and what I hope for you in 2015, my thoughts keep circling back to the impact of God's truth. Most of you come to this site because you've already been exposed to God's truth in some way. But if you are like me, there is evidence in your life that that truth hasn't truly transformed the way that you live.

There's a difference between knowing God's truth and fully embracing it. I can't imagine the ways our lives would change if we chose to believe what God says in His Word and allowed that truth to change how we live. It's even more exciting for me to envision the impact we could have on other women by knowing God's truth, believing it, and putting it into action. That thought gives me goose bumps.

I'll help you get started. In the last chapter of Lies Young Women Believe, Nancy and Dannah list several powerful truths to counter everyday lies. I've turned a few of those truths into action steps for the New Year. Your job is to identify the areas of your life that are in need of a dose of God's truth and put that truth to work in your own life.

Ready? Let's choose truth together!

1. I will praise God on good days and bad days this year.

   "You are good and do good" (Ps. 119:68a).

   When everything is going right, it's easy to believe that God is good and to praise Him because of it. But when life gets tough, we are tempted to question God's goodness and "forget" to praise Him. When your life gets messy, you can choose to believe God's Word rather than trusting your emotions and praise God in all circumstances.
2. I will live like I am deeply loved this year.

   "The Lord has appeared to him from afar, saying: Indeed, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you'" (Jer. 31:3).

   Feeling unloved can have a huge impact on the way that we live. Specifically, believing the lie that no one cares about you can lead to depression, anxiety and destructive behaviors. The truth is that you are deeply loved by God. If you believe God's love is real and receive it, it will transform your life.
3. I will pay less attention to what others think of me this year.

   "Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless before Him in love; He predestined us to adoption as sons to Himself through Jesus Christ according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace which He graciously bestowed on us in the Beloved" (Eph. 1:4-6).

   When a friend, a co-worker or a loved one rejects us, it's easy to let that rock our world. It's also easy to get wrapped up in trying to please the people around us in order to avoid that rejection. But God's truth is that He chose you and loved you enough to adopt you into His family. Choosing to fully embrace that truth provides the perspective we need to be less concerned about what others think.
4. I won't use stuff to make me feel good this year.

   "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want" (Ps. 23:1).

   God is enough to satisfy your needs. If you have Him, you have everything you need. Believing this truth allows you to stop trying to make yourself feel better by having the right stuff. You already have what you need.
5. I will do what it takes to overcome a sinful habit this year.

   "Knowing this, that our old man has been crucified with Him, so that the body of sin might be destroyed, and we should no longer be slaves to sin. For the one who has died is freed from sin" (Rom. 6:6-7).

   God's truth is that you do not have to sin, and every sinful pattern in your life can be overcome by the power of Christ living in you. That doesn't mean that overcoming sin doesn't often take work. You may need to confess your sin to a Christian friend or pastor, recruit an accountability partner or remove a habit or relationship that has become a stumbling block in order to stop a sinful habit in your life. But God's Word promises that you can receive freedom. Believe that truth, and then do what is necessary to remove sin.
6. I will embrace a God-sized challenge this year.

   "I can do all things because of Christ who strengthens me" (Phil. 4:13).

   God has not commanded you to do anything that He will not give you the grace to do. That means, for example, that:
   
   There is no one you cannot love (Matt. 5:44)
   You can give thanks in all things (1 Thess. 5:18)
   There is no one you cannot forgive (Mark 11:25)
   You can be sexually pure (1 Thess. 4:3–4)
7. I will accept responsibility for my actions this year.

   "The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the punishment of the iniquity of the father, nor shall the father bear the punishment of the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself" (Ezek. 18:20).

   You are responsible before God for your behavior, responses and choices. You may not be able to control the things that happen to you this year, but you can control how you respond to the things God allows to come into your life. Making the choice to stop blaming others for the negative patterns in your life and to assume personal responsibility for your own choices will free you to obey God regardless of your circumstances.
8. I will be more concerned about my holiness than my happiness this year.

   "Be holy, for I am holy" (1 Pet. 1:16).

   Jesus didn't die so that we could live a life for ourselves and our own pleasure, but so we could be free to live a life that pleases Him. Pleasing Him will sometimes require sacrifices. But any sacrifice we make is temporary and cannot be compared with the joy and fulfillment we will gain in eternity. Only through seeking to be holy can we ever experience true happiness.
9. I will add praise, thanksgiving, listening and confession into my prayer life this year.

   "For those whom He foreknew, He predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son" (Rom. 8:29a).

   God is more concerned about changing you and glorifying Himself than about solving your problems. With that truth in mind, a balanced prayer life should include more than just asking God to fix your problems. Work to build a relationship with God that is not strictly focused on asking Him to change your circumstances.
10. I will focus more on Jesus and less on myself this year.

    "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30).

    The truth is it's not about you; it's all about Him. The world was not created to revolve around you. It was created to revolve around Christ. This year, look for every opportunity to make your life more about serving Jesus and attracting others to Him.

Source: charismamag.com

HONOUR GOD

Jesus answered him, "The first of all the commandments is: `Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with your entire mind, and with all you strength'. This is the first commandment". Mark 12:29-30

Jesus is emphatic that loving the Lord is the first commandment. Success in any new year hinges on doing first things first.

If you want to make it in the year ahead, you have to set your priorities and go all out to demonstrate your love for God. This must be done not just in word but also in deed.

One of the most important things that will provide an anchor in your life is recognizing God as number one in your life, the source of all your blessing and the focus of your adoration and attention.

The most significant way to honour God in your life is by giving. We must go the extra mile when it comes to honouring God with our giving.

We often delude ourselves into thinking we love God so deeply till a demand is made on us to give to Him.

In the story of the Rich Young Ruler, he was confident of his love for God and his total obedience to all the commandments.

However, when he was asked to serve God with his wealth, he was very sad because he felt too much was being asked of him.

Your plan to honour God should be high up on your priority list. Honour God with your wealth, time, and talents. When you put God and His Kingdom first, all other desires shall be fulfilled.

Prayer: Lord, may Your name be glorified in my life this year and the rest of my life.

Scriptural Reading: Mark 12:28-34

Happy new year to all our readers and fan world-wide

We wish all our readers and fans, Happy new year 2015! may this year be fill with joy, favour and testimonies.

Learn from yesterday- Live for today-Hope for tomorrow. Happy new year again Love yah all. From Adenike Salako Blog's World.......

GOD LOVES YOU

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

A number of years ago, Karl Barth, the famous German theologian, was lecturing at a major Northeaster Seminary.

At a Q&A session, a man asked Mr. Barth what's the most profound thought that ever entered his mind.

The man clearly expected to hear some philosophical comment from Mr. Barth. But the theologian looked at the man and simply said, "The most profound thought that has ever occurred to me is this: Jesus loves me; this I know, for the Bible tells me so."

You and I need to realize how remarkable the message of God's love truly is. It is simply profound and profoundly simple! And no other verse of Scripture summarizes his love for us as completely as John 3:16: "For God so loved the world...."

It is an undeniable fact. God loves you! The expression of His love is evident from the first page to the last of Scripture. But the greatest evidence of His love is Christmas.

God sent His only Son to die so that you will live. There is no greater love than that.

Enter the New Year with this confidence and assurance that God loves you unconditionally, and He wants to do great things with your life and for your life.

Prayer: Father, I enter the New Year with hope and expectations because I know You love me and You have prepared in advance great things for me.

Scriptural Reading: John 3:16-21.

We thank God for all He has done for year 2014, we say you are worthy Baba God.

FASHION: UNIQUE and CLASSY ASO EBI STYLES

When it comes to gorgeous wearing traditional attires, some people know the nitty gritty of how well to go about it, how to combine the colors, gorgeous accessories that will complement the amazing attire and especially how to tie the 'Gele'. Enjoy and have fun happy last week of the year ....

See some amazing photos below ----

Prayer for the last week in the year 2014

In the mighty name of Jesus, I decree and declare that no affliction will strike you twice. You are covered by the Blood. You will end the year with a testimony. 
 it shall be well with your soul and you are healed emotionally/spiritually in Jesus Name. The Lord will break you away from every relationship that doesn't bring glory and profit to you and God. 

The prayers of the righteous over you shall not fail in Jesus Name. Remember the Glory that God has put inside You and Destined for You is Greater than any challenge that comes your way, any challenges you are facing will to testimony in Jesus name.

Happy new week and last week in the year 2014 , From ASB-World we Love and Appreciate yah all.

Oh, how precious is the Gift

The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, "Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!" John 1:29

When you are planning to give a gift to someone, you usually think about it ahead of time. What would this person really want? Then, of course, you start searching for it and saving for it.

It is not something you do at the last minute. If you haven't planned ahead to get a gift for your family yet, you are a poor giver.

Maybe you are planning on finding a shopping mall that is open until the last minute. Maybe you have been working really hard and you haven't had time.

But I think if you really love someone, then you will take the time to select a gift for them in advance.

This gift God gave to us was not an after- thought. Long before there was a stable in Bethlehem, long before there was a garden called Eden, long before there was a planet called Earth, a decision was made in the counsels of eternity.

God decided to send His Son to save us from our sins. God knew that Adam would fall.

God knew he would cross the line and eat the forbidden fruit and sin, and God knew that as a result, we all become sinners. That is why the Bible says that Christ was slain from the foundation of the world (see Revelation 13:8).

The all-knowing, ever-present God made the decision long before our actual sin that Jesus would come to this earth, be born, and would live, die, and rise again from the dead to save us from our sins. Oh, how precious is the Gift of Christmas.

Prayer: I bless Your holy name for You, Father, are thoughtful and so loving.

Scriptural Reading: John 1: 29-34

Marvelous Love!

On a cold Christmas Eve in 1952, when Korea was in the throes of civil war, one young woman struggled along a village street, obviously soon to deliver a child. She pleaded with passersby,

"Help me! Please. My baby."

No one paid any attention to her.

A middle-aged couple walked by. The wife pushed away the young mother and sneered,

"Where's the father?

The couple laughed and went on.

The young woman almost doubled up from a contraction as she watched them go.

"Please . . ." she begged.

She had heard of a missionary living nearby who might help her. Hurriedly, she began walking to that village. If only he would help her baby.

Shivering and in pain, she struggled over the frozen countryside. But the night was so cold.

Snow began to fall. Realizing that the time was near to deliver her baby, she took shelter under a bridge. There, alone, her baby was born on Christmas Eve.

Worried about her newborn son, she took off her own clothes, wrapped them around the baby and held him close in the warm circle of her arms.

The next day, the missionary braved the new snow to deliver Christmas packages. As he walked along, he heard the cry of a baby. He followed the sound to a bridge.

Under it, he found a young mother frozen to death, still clutching her crying new born son. The missionary tenderly lifted the baby out of her arms.

When the baby was 10 years old, his now adoptive father told him the story of his mother's death on Christmas Eve.

The young boy cried, realizing the sacrifice his mother had made for him.

The next morning, the missionary rose early to find the boy's bed empty. Seeing a fresh set of small footprints in the snow outside, he bundled up warmly in a winter coat and followed the trail. It led back to the bridge where the young mother had died.

As the missionary approached the bridge, he stopped, stunned.

Kneeling in the snow was his son, naked and shivering uncontrollably. His clothes lay beside him in a small pile. Moving closer, he heard the boy say through chattering teeth:

"Mother, were you in this cold for me?"

Reflection:

This story reminds us of another mother and Son who sacrificed so much.

One winter night, Jesus left his home, His glory and the warmth of heaven to be born in a stable to an unwelcome world.

Just before He was born, Mary, His mother, was not welcome in any of the cozy inns in Bethlehem.

Instead, she delivered her baby in the darkness of a cold stable. The Creator of the Universe, the Perfect Judge who could destroy the world with a single word, was willing to endure this inauspicious beginning for you and me. That is unconditional love!

We who have experienced God's unconditional love are commanded to share that love with others. John writes in 1 John 4:11,

"Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other" (New Living Translation).

God wants us to express His supernatural love to others. We become examples of God's love to the world as we love our neighbours through the enabling of His Holy Spirit.

My prayer for you is the same as Paul's prayer for the believers in Ephesians 3:17,18:

"May your roots go down deep in to the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love really is" (NLT ) .

You may confess, "I don't have that kind of love to share with anyone."

To experience God's supernatural love, claim it by faith. We have the potential to love anyone God puts in our path.

Nothing breaks the hardened ground of unforgiveness and bitterness like sincere acts and words of love. Sometimes you and I, by faith, must take the first step of restoration.

A positive response may not be immediate, but keep on loving and reaching out. There is no power on earth stronger than God's supernatural love.

Merry Christmas!!!

Some ways you are being unfaithful to your spouse and you don't even know it

Having an affair is not even on your radar. Never gonna happen. You love your spouse and you'd never be unfaithful to her or him. However, you may be unaware of other ways you are being unfaithful. If these actions continue, you may find yourself on the slippery slope that leads to that never-intended affair and a sorrow you never wanted in your life.

Unfaithfulness usually creeps in through the back door, disguising itself as harmless fun or innocent behavior. If you want your marriage to endure and be filled with happiness you may need to check this list to see if you have fallen prey to any of these unfaithful behaviors.

1. Flirting

Having a little playful fun at the office with a co-worker can't be too bad, you may rationalize. After all, flirting is fun. Avoid it like the plague. It's dangerous. If someone flirts with you, ignore it. What falls into the category of flirting? Here's one explanation of what flirting is. "[It] usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that suggests a mildly greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would justify, though within the rules of social etiquette, which generally disapproves of a direct expression of sexual interest. This may be accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony... Body language can include flicking the hair, eye contact, brief touching, etc."

Married people should never engage in this type of behavior with anyone other than their spouse. It is a full-on form of unfaithfulness that leads to no good. The one you're flirting with may take it as an invitation and pursue a relationship you never intended.

2. Confiding in the opposite gender

When you pour out your troubles to someone of the opposite gender you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. It may seem harmless. After all, you just needed a shoulder to cry on. If you've got a problem, talk about it with your spouse. That's your best-ever shoulder to cry on. If that's not working for you, try a trusted relative, clergyman, or therapist. Not someone who may consider this an invitation for intimacy. Even if it doesn't start that way, too often it ends that way. It's a form of unfaithfulness.

3. Spending time alone with someone else

What appears to be an innocent lunch out with someone of the opposite sex or stopping by for a chat at that someone's home without your spouse is definitely in the category of unfaithful behavior. You or the other person may say, "Hey, we're both adults. Nothing's going to happen." Well, things do happen. It's not appropriate. Go home and spend that time with your spouse.

4. Talking negatively about your mate

When you are a true friend to someone you never say bad things about them to others. Your mate is your best friend and is the last person you should ever talk about negatively. If you have a beef with your honey, talk it out with him or her. Let your conversations with others focus on the good things about your spouse. That's being faithful. The exception here is abuse. If abuse is happening it needs to be reported to a trusted friend, counselor, and the police. You must keep yourself safe.

5. Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite sex

If you think this is harmless, think again. It may start out that way, but it definitely won't end that way. Some have engaged in what they considered innocent talk with a former boyfriend or girlfriend from high school or college days, or even a stranger. One thing can lead to another and before you know it, your marriage is in jeopardy. Don't do it. It will only end in sorrow and heartbreak for your family.

6. Dressing to attract the attention of someone other than your spouse

If you're dressing up to look good for someone else, you need to reexamine your motives. Trying to attract someone else by wearing a sexy looking outfit is one more way to jump into unfaithful waters.

7. Writing personal intimate notes or letters to someone else

If you're writing a letter of condolence or congratulations, or other good wishes, let it be from both you and your spouse. Then there will be no misunderstanding about your intentions.

8. Not being a willing sexual partner with your spouse

Being faithful to your spouse means giving yourself over to him or her to enjoy the intimate side of your marriage. To withhold sexual intimacy from your spouse if not doing your part in keeping your marriage strong and fulfilling. It creates sorrow and even suspicion. Being a faithful spouse means doing your part to make it a beautiful relationship in all aspects.

9. Putting your parents before your spouse

Your spouse must always be the number one person in your life. If something wonderful happens to you, like a promotion, a confirmation of a pregnancy, or any other good news, you may be tempted to immediately call a parent to share in the joy. Resist. Let your spouse be the first to know your good news. Then share it with others.

10. Putting your children before your spouse

Kids matter. They are very important people in your life, but not more important than your spouse. If you knock your spouse off the top of your priority list you are not showing total fidelity to him or her. Your mate must come first. Not only does it cement your marriage and make it stronger, it gives your children the best security blanket they will ever have.

Check yourself on these points and make sure you are being 100 percent faithful to your spouse. By doing this you will create a genuinely happy and fulfilling marriage.

By Gary and Joy Lundberg

Merry Christmas to all our Readers and Fans!!

Happy birthday to the celebrant of today the reason why the whole world rejoice and merry, the Shepherd of my life, the King and Lord, the one and only JESUS CHRIST- I celebrate you SIR. You are the reasons for this seasons. Jesus is COMING BACK !!!!

Merry Christmas to all our Readers, Fans and Friends. You guys rocks!!!



From Adenike Salako Blog's World....

You need to put your spouse before your children

There is a natural order in marriage. It begins with two people falling in love, believing that they are the most important person in the world to each other. As children come along they need to be cherished and loved but never more than your spouse. Then when they're grown and gone, it's back to just two people again. When these two remain in love, it provides a stability and a legacy for the children, no matter their age.

The four key reasons

• Your children need to see how marriage works
  
  If you push your spouse down on your list of priorities, your children will believe that marriage isn't all that important. On the other hand, if they see you honoring your spouse with that number one spot, they will feel a love and security that can come in no other way.
  A young adult shared the following experience. She said, "When I was little I used to ask my mom who she loved the most, me or Dad. She always said, "Dad." I asked him the same question, and he answered "Mom." Of course, I knew they loved me, but I was always a little disappointed that they didn't say they loved me the most. A few years later I asked them again and the answer they gave showed me on top, at last. They said they loved me the most. The funny thing is, it didn't feel so good after all. It wasn't the feeling I was expecting. I liked it better when they said they loved each other the most." A few years later they were divorced. She said, "They needed to keep loving each other the most, then I might still have a mom and dad together. It's sad." 
  Twin college coeds were counseling their younger sisters about what to look for in their future husband. They wrote: "Tonight when Dad comes home from work or meetings, listen to the first words he'll say when he walks in the door: 'Where's my beautiful wife?' Then watch as he searches the house to find her, just so he can kiss her to let her know he loves her. Notice how he'll start helping with whatever he can right away, and how he makes every one of you feel so important as he asks about your day."
  Putting your spouse first does not diminish the love your children feel from you. It enhances it as long as you show love to them as well.
• It creates a feeling of romance in your marriage
  
  You know right off the top that you matter to your spouse, and that's romantic. How open are you to respond with love and affection when you feel that you are the most important person in the world to your spouse? Keeping romance alive in marriage is crucial. And this is not just about "making love," it's about giving love in everyday little acts of caring that show your spouse how much he or she means to you. An unhappy wife told us that her husband meets the needs of everyone else first and rarely even notices hers. Are there times when a child's needs come first? Of course, but not continually and not at the expense of your spouse. A father of three young children, when asked if he still had the top spot on his wife's list of priorities, said, "I'm not even on the list." He wasn't laughing. Busy spouses must always find time to show their mates how important they are to them.
• Children who are continually number one become self-centered
  
  When they are practically worshiped at home by a parent, children go out into the world with an unrealistic view; one that says they are owed. In an article by physician Danielle Teller, titled "How American parenting is killing the American marriage," she said, "Children who are raised to believe that they are the center of the universe have a tough time when their special status erodes as they approach adulthood. Most troubling of all, couples who live entirely child-centric lives can lose touch with one another to the point where they have nothing left to say to one another when the kids leave home... Is it surprising that divorce rates are rising fastest for new empty nesters?"
• It helps everything else in your life go better
  
  When your marriage is going well, it improves every other part of your life. If you have to spend time worrying about your marriage, it will take away from your productivity at work. Even more important, if you spend time fretting over marital problems, you have less time to devote to your children. There is only so much time and space in your life so keeping the marriage strong opens up more avenues for your relationship with your children to flourish. Keeping your spouse in that number one spot is what helps make that happen.
  When divorce and remarriage enter the scene, it can be complicated. Where do the children of the first marriage fit? The new spouse deserves that number one spot, but that does not mean the children of a previous marriage are excluded. Children of divorce can feel left out and unloved if proper attention is not given to them. They may not be number one, but they need to be a very close number two, even if they are unlovable at times. They're hurting. They need both of their natural parents' love for them to thrive.
  If you are a step-parent (some call it more lovingly a bonus parent), then you need to be willing to welcome your current mate's children into your lives and allow him or her to have time to enjoy their children. Bring them into a loving family where they can see that your current marriage is one of happiness and strength. It will give them a feeling of security they were missing before.

source: Gary and Joy Lundberg