3 Ways to Find Freedom From Rejection

 Rejection. It happens in many forms. Perhaps a group of people that thought they knew better dismissed your divinely inspired, gee-whiz idea. Maybe your long-built-up courage was instantly deflated by a crush who just wanted to be friends. Or maybe you were passed over at work for a promotion you deserved. Whatever the case, we’ve all experienced some kind of rejection, and we can all agree that it hurts.

For some, however, rejection is more than an occasional occurrence. It's a theme throughout their lives, deeply rooted and woven into their identities since childhood. These are the people no one wanted to be friends with. They were never good enough for the sports teams. Or as an accident from conception, their families never gave them much attention. With so much rejection, they identify with their feelings to believe I am a reject. And this identity is the lens through which they enter everyday life. It’s debilitating. They live in fear of people and situations because their past dictates that they’ll always be excluded.

My Story

The sharp pain of rejection scarred much of my childhood. I began my elementary years with extreme shyness. I was so timid, in fact, that I was afraid to read aloud in class and didn’t apply myself in social or athletic situations. I became a loner and was misunderstood by my peers and dreaded the things most that age live for: recess and P.E. class. I prayed every day that the coach wouldn’t allow us to choose teams because I’d have to overhear why I shouldn’t be chosen and would often be the last one standing.

With this, I entered my adult life with an expectation of rejection. I never pursued friendships because I was too afraid to feel the pain of someone who didn’t want to be my friend. If I walked into a room and noticed people laughing, I automatically assumed they were laughing at me. It was pitiful. My everyday life was controlled by voices of the past and irrational feelings. (I detail much more of my story in my upcoming book, Silence Satan: Shutting Down the Enemy’s Attacks, Threats, Lies and Accusations, which will release this fall.)

But God has a habit of taking nobodies and turning them into somebodies. Not long after my salvation at 16 years old, I understood that one day I would be in front of others to preach the gospel. It all seemed impossible then—for a boy once afraid to read aloud to have the confidence to speak to crowds. Still, I pursued this call and knew that if I was to see its fulfillment, I had to find freedom from my fear of rejection. So, I turned to God’s Word for help.

Today, I am living the realization of God’s call and often speak to crowds via live events, television and Internet broadcasts, and writing. I’m pleased to say that I’m not the fearful person I once was. But my freedom didn’t happen overnight; it came through a decade of applying the following principles of God’s Word.

1. God Is Your Vindicator

One of the effects of my past is that when I became an adult, I spent much energy trying to prove myself to others. Because I craved acceptance so badly, I fell into a habit of perfectionism, then felt I had to appear the best at things. When I fell short or someone disagreed with me, it was a deep personal hit.

The Scripture affirms, “For the Lord will vindicate his people” (Ps. 135:14, NRSV). To vindicate is to show or prove something to be right or accepted. I discovered that it isn’t my job to get people to like me—it’s God’s. When I put my acceptance in Him, I freed myself from the constant striving to be all things to all people and from the exhaustion of trying to get people to understand me.

God is my vindicator, and He’s yours too! If you struggle with people, give your struggle to Him. Be encouraged: God gives favor with the right people in the right place and at the right time.

2. God’s Word Is Your Ultimate Reality

God’s Word has some wonderful things to say about who we are in Christ: We are His righteousness (2 Cor. 5:21), accepted in the beloved (Eph. 1:6) and chosen by God for His good purposes (Eph. 1:11).

I learned the voices of my past or current situations are not reality. Instead, what God says about us is more real than any other opinion; His Word is the voice of truth and our ultimate reality. When you absolutely believe this, you can walk into any situation with confidence, regardless of your feelings.

3. Reject False Thoughts and Feelings With God’s Word

Paul instructs us to “destroy arguments and every proud obstacle raised up against the knowledge of God, and … take every thought captive to obey Christ” (2 Cor. 10:4-5).

The negative thoughts and feelings we encounter are simply Satan’s arguments and obstacles set up to hold us back from fulfilling God’s mission for our life. Some translations refer to these arguments as “imaginations,” because as I said above, they aren’t real.

The way we are to combat these things is to take them captive and put them into obedience to Christ. That is, when something comes our way that’s contrary to what God says, we are to reject it and replace it with truth. The greatest way to do this is to speak God’s truth aloud.

For example, when confronted with fear, I try to quickly respond with a Scripture, like 2 Timothy 1:7: “God has not given me a spirit of fear or shyness. Instead, I have power, love and self-discipline.”

Speaking Scripture aloud is the model that Jesus used during His own spiritual warfare (Matt. 4:1­-11.), and it’s a great way to keep your mind focused on God’s truth and not your feelings or circumstances. (Download my free smartphone app, Shut Up, Devil! which puts the power of God’s Word in your pocket to silence Satan whenever and wherever he attacks.)

Don’t Give Up

Paul encourages us, “Be transformed by the renewing of your minds” (Rom. 12:2). Renewing is an active and ongoing process. Only by applying the principles of God’s Word consistently over time will you overcome your fears, hurts and wounds to experience the transformation and freedom that is your inheritance in Christ. If you won’t give up, I promise you will find that bold, abundant life that Jesus died to give us (John 10:10).

By Kyle Winkler

THE TWO SIDES OF GOD

My flesh trembles for fear of You, And I am afraid of Your judgments. Psalm 119:120

In Scripture, we see two sides to God: One is His loving, compassionate, caring side. He is the God who created us in His own and made the supreme sacrifice to offer us eternal life through Christ.

Then there is the God of holiness, who hates sin: One who judges sin and expresses wrath at evil.

Today, many have lost the balance between these two sides to God's nature. Too often we stress on His love and forget that He is just and righteous; He will not tolerate sin. His holy nature cannot dwell side by side with sin.

That is why He took it upon Himself to pay for our sins through the suffering and death of Christ. When we despise the grace of God, the only option left for us is to suffer for our own sins.

The Bible tells us the penalty for sin is hell. Hell isn't in style today because it represents accountability to someone in authority, and we want to avoid authority. And it represents absolute eternal judgment.

We have a difficult time believing that such a place could exist, and we don't want to really believe that everlasting punishment and torment is a reality. And when we no longer see the eternal retribution of our sins, we lose any urgency for repenting of those sins.

The truth is that hell is real. God is patient, but He is not tolerant. He is holy. His justice calls for an atonement for man's sins.

When we scorn His offer of atonement and continue to live in sin and in our own evil way, we leave God with no option but to suffer the just punishment.

Prayer: Lord, open my eyes to the reality of my sins and their consequences.

Scriptural Reading: Psalm 119:113-120

Who are you copying OR Who is your Mentor?

Recently my little boy did something that cracked me up. I announced I was going to have a shower and he said he wanted to join me. So, like the mother I am, not being able to resist his tears, I allowed him. We got to the bathroom and as I put on my shower cap, he said “Mummy, cap me”. He wanted to wear a shower cap as well, and he wasn’t taking no for an answer. So I gave him one and he wore it immediately, feeling proud of himself that he looked just like mummy (Yeah yeah I know, I’m a mother. We all have that soft spot, don’t we? *grin*)

But this got me thinking about the term ‘Copycat’. Very common among us women, we tend to copy each other a lot! Sis A is in the choir, so I join too because she is not the only one that should be visible, after all I can sing too. Sis B now has a boutique and travelled to Dubai to get new stock. Next thing you know, you are saving real hard to go to Dubai and start a fashion business too. Or how about when Sis D gets married before you? That automatically gives you a boost to ensure you settle with the next available man, after all you must always be a step ahead of Sis D!!

You know what I’m talking about don’t you? That urge to show that you can’t always be outdone, the need to always measure up by copying what others are doing, even if you don’t have the capacity to do so, that spirit of ENVY.

Why do we feel the need to copy others? Most of the time it’s because you haven’t discovered yourself. You see, every individual is unique in their own way. You were created to fulfill God’s purpose for you. The lack of revelation of that purpose makes you doubt who you are and you find yourself copying others, going into a line of business that doesn’t concern you, striving to do things that are absolutely out of your league just in the bid to measure up. Women are most guilty of this! And truth is when you do this, the bible calls you unwise!!!

2 Corinthians 10:12: We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise NIV

When you find yourself making comparison to someone else’s progress, success or even lifestyle, wisdom flies out of the window thereby giving room for envy to breed in your heart. When you copy someone else, not because you are encouraged by them, but because you feel the need to do what they do, you are envious. And when envy sets in, you are well on your way to committing more sins!!!

James 3:16 : For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice NIV

Have you discovered yourself? Instead of the energy and time you spend checking out what the latest that sister has done is, why not spend it on improving yourself, discovering yourself, fulfilling your own purpose? That is what gives true satisfaction and you have the tenacity to endure in the face of discouragement if you are doing that which God called you to do – whether it be ministry, business, career in the corporate world or even a stay-at-home mum! There will be no hidden pressure, and even though you are not where you hope to be yet, you are sure you are on your way with God on your side.

You see, my son looked real cute in that shower cap, but the truth is he had NO NEED of it! As a boy, he needs to be able to let water run down his hair to enjoy his shower. Looking cute and happy was what he gained in exchange for what should be his experience. And he just wanted to do what mummy did. But wearing that shower cap didn’t make him mummy.

Well, he’s just a child. What about you? I hope you get the message!

1 Peter 2:1 - Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.

Ephesians 5:1 - Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.

By sis Deby

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Laughter is The Best Medicine

Many years ago, Norman Cousins was diagnosed as “terminally ill”. He was given six months to live. His chance for recovery was 1 in 500.

He could see the worry, depression and anger in his life contributed to, and perhaps helped cause, his disease. He wondered, “If illness can be caused by negativity, can wellness be created by positivity?”

He decided to make an experiment of himself. Laughter was one of the most positive activities he knew. He rented all the funny movies he could find – Keaton, Chaplin, Fields, the Marx Brothers. (This was before VCRs, so he had to rent the actual films.)

He read funny stories. He asked his friends to call him whenever they said, heard or did something funny.

His pain was so great he could not sleep. Laughing for 10 solid minutes, he found, relieved the pain for several hours so he could sleep.

He fully recovered from his illness and lived another 20 happy, healthy and productive years. (His journey is detailed in his book, Anatomy of an Illness.)

He credits visualization, the love of his family and friends, and laughter for his recovery.

Some people think laughter is a waste of time. It is a luxury, they say, a frivolity, something to indulge in only every so often.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Laughter is essential to our equilibrium, to our well-being, to our aliveness. If we’re not well, laughter helps us get well; if we are well, laughter helps us stay that way.

Since Cousins’ ground-breaking subjective work, scientific studies have shown that laughter has a curative effect on the body, the mind and the emotions.

So, if you like laughter, consider it sound medical advice to indulge in it as often as you can. If you don’t like laughter, then take your medicine – laugh anyway.

Use whatever makes you laugh – movies, sitcoms, Monty Python, records, books, New Yorker cartoons, jokes, friends.

Give yourself permission to laugh – long and loud and out loud – whenever anything strikes you as funny.

The people around you may think you’re strange, but sooner or later they’ll join in even if they don’t know what you’re laughing about.

Some diseases may be contagious, but none is as contagious as the cure. . . laughter.

Credit: Peter McWilliams

From “Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul”

Assurance of Victory!

TEXT: JEREMIAH 20:7-18

Key verse: “But the Lord is with me as a mighty terrible one: therefore my persecutors shall stumble, and they shall not prevail: they shall be greatly ashamed, for they shall not prosper: their everlasting confusion shall never be forgotten” (Jeremiah 20:11).

A girl was walking home alone on a dangerous road after school hours when she saw a man hanging around suspiciously. She prayed God to see her through. Later that night as she watched the TV news, she recognized the man on the dangerous alley being questioned by the police. He had raped and murdered a girl at the spot. He told the officers that another girl had passed by moments before. Asked why he did not attack the first girl, he said there was a man walking beside her! God is with us, closer to us than our fears and the enemy!

The text today reveals the perplexing situation Jeremiah found himself. He was like a lone ranger hated by everyone around him because of the righteous course he had chosen for himself and his determination to stand for the truth. He was rejected and became confused to the extent of almost doubting the faithfulness of God to keep His promise. He felt deceived and unjustly lured into ministry because he could not see God standing with him at the time of trouble. He opted to quit but for the compelling power of God that made it impossible for him. “…But his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones….” He almost saw himself a failure.

If God has appointed you, you cannot fail as long as you stay within the determined territory of His appointment. God’s promise cannot fail because He cannot fail. Witches and wizards, magicians and sorcerers, occultic and traditional people will not be able to stand before you if you are truly converted and divinely ordained to accomplish a mission.

While we are doing what the Almighty has appointed for us to do, and continue to walk in the path of righteousness, no power can withstand or overcome us.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: God is the abiding Companion of the redeemed.

 

Prayer for new week!

"You shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD”. This year, you and your loved ones shall not die, but live, to declare the goodness of the Lord in the land of the Living. Arrows of wickedness, untimely death, sorrow, tragedy, sickness, poverty, non-achievement, shame, oppression and afflictions against you are broken and destroyed.

You will not lose the special packages that God has prepared for you. God will daily load you with extra benefits, You shall live to fulfill your destiny in Jesus mighty name.  J

Happy New Week from us ASB-World. 

Praying For Your Nation

TEXT: AMOS 7:1-6

KEY VERSE: “Then said I , O Lord God, cease, I beseech thee; by whom shall Jacob arise? for he is small” (Amos 7:5).

It is strange that we do exactly the opposite of what God commands. God says we shouldn’t waste precious time and energy on anxiety about what we cannot change on our own. But that is what we do: complaining about our country and its leaders and ignoring the great natural and human resources He has given us.

Amos was different. God had showed him a vision of the impending judgment on Israel. The Lord was preparing to unleash a swarm of locusts on the farmlands of Israel to destroy their crops and further impoverish them because of their sins. In the vision, Amos observed that the grasshoppers ate up even the grass of the land. He knew that if he did nothing, the vision would materialise. So, he began to pray and plead with the Lord to forgive Israel their sins. He reminded God that Israel was so small and had no other hope of deliverance but the Lord Himself. Expectedly, the merciful God hearkened to the prayers of Amos. But the people of Israel did not change their ways.

So, God showed Amos another vision of His anger against the land. This time, it was to be in the form of fire that would consume large part of the land of Israel. Again, Amos went on his knees, pleading with the Lord to cease from destroying the land by fire, stating as at the first time, that Israel was so small and had no chance of survival except by the grace of God.

If we are genuinely concerned about the rot in the society, the solution does not lie in grumbling; it does not lie either in the tons of writings on corruption and its allied evils; nor is the solution in endless cycles of violent protests and strikes. God’s Word says righteousness exalts a nation. The corollary then is to go on our knees and plead with God for the salvation of both the citizens and the leaders. When there is genuine repentance, righteousness will follow and we shall have peace and prosperity.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Revival of righteousness in the land can be secured only on our knees.