MARRIAGE ISN’T FOR YOU!!!!!

Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me.

Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.

I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. :) I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.

Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?

Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.

Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.
My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”

 

It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make her happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.

My father’s advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today’s “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.
No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”

Some time ago, my wife showed me what it means to love selflessly. For many months, my heart had been hardening with a mixture of fear and resentment. Then, after the pressure had built up to where neither of us could stand it, emotions erupted. I was callous. I was selfish.

But instead of matching my selfishness, Kim did something beyond wonderful—she showed an outpouring of love. Laying aside all of the pain and anguish I had caused her, she lovingly took me in her arms and soothed my soul. I realized that I had forgotten my dad’s advice. While Kim’s side of the marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better.

To all who are reading this article—married, almost married, single, or even the sworn bachelor or bachelorette—I want you to know that marriage isn’t for you. No true relationship of love is for you. Love is about the person you love.And, paradoxically, the more you truly love that person, the more love you receive. And not just from your significant other, but from their friends and their family and thousands of others you never would have met had your love remained self-centered.

Truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others.

Source: Seth Adam Smith

LEGLESS CYCLIST RIDES FOR ASYLUM SEEKERS

EL PASO, Texas (AP) — Carlos Gutierrez passed out as the large blade cut through his legs — punishment for his refusal to pay Mexican gang extortion fees from his successful catering business in northern Mexico.

Four men had forced him into the back of his vehicle at a local park before slicing just under his knees. He spent two weeks in critical condition and sought asylum in Texas as soon as he was able.

Now, facing long odds on getting approval to stay in the U.S., Gutierrez has been staging an unusual demonstration to call attention to his plight and to the thousands of other Mexicans who seek asylum in the U.S. each year from drug cartel violence, with little success. Gutierrez has been riding his bicycle through Texas using his prosthetic legs, talking to everyone he meets.

"If someone from Cuba or from Venezuela can get asylum, why not someone from Mexico?" said Gutierrez, who spent nearly two weeks on his 800-mile bicycle trek from El Paso to Central Texas.

U.S. law allows asylum for those who have credible fear of persecution based on their race, religion, national origin, political status or membership in a particular social group.

But Mexican asylum seekers have struggled to convince U.S. courts they fit in any of these categories, with approval rates running 1 to 2 percent. By contrast, more than a fourth of immigrants from other Latin American countries such as Colombia and Venezuela were granted asylum last year. Many can cite ethnic or political grounds.

 Since he hopped on his bicycle in El Paso on Oct. 28, Gutierrez has been making his case for a change in the system. His journey ended Saturday in Austin.

Along the way townspeople came out from shops and houses to wave and talk with him during rest stops. The 35-year-old endured rain, strong winds, flat tires and fatigue. On the fifth day, a prosthetic specialist met him to adjust his legs because he was bruising and blistering.

"There were times when we thought it'd be best to have him rest, to drive him to the next town to let his legs recover, but he'd say, 'No,'" said Jaqueline Armendariz, a member of the support team for the ride to Austin. "He has a mission."

Gutierrez said he never considered quitting.

It doesn't matter, he said, "how grave your wound was. What matters is that you get up. I have no legs, but I am on my feet."

 The U.S. Executive Office for Immigration Review did not specifically comment on Gutierrez's case. However, immigration judges have acknowledged in court that asylum cases based on fear of crime or violence are difficult to make.

"I believe everything you just told me," immigration Judge Stephen Ruhle told a Mexican applicant at a recent hearing in which the man described being targeted by corrupt police officers for extortion money. "But asylum is not applicable to cases like yours."

Some scholars have argued that many applicants should qualify under a looser definition of "social group." A 2010 report by the United Nations' High Commissioner for Refugees said people who, on principle, refuse to pay extortion could be considered a group.

Other experts say the threats to individuals have evolved since asylum categories were defined in treaties after World War II.

"Now, people are fleeing different forms of persecution," said Karen Musalo, director of the Center for Gender and Refugee Studies at the University of California. "There are women fleeing from domestic violence, genital mutilation or honor killings. There are people fleeing from drug cartels and gangs."

But others are skeptical. About 9,200 Mexicans sought asylum last year, up from 3,560 in 2008. The increase has prompted some lawmakers to suggest that immigrants are using the asylum system as a backdoor way to stay into the U.S. Applicants often wait more than two years for their court date. Gutierrez's case has been pending since 2011.

Philip Schrag, a professor of public interest law at Georgetown University, said many applications come from Mexicans who have been apprehended crossing illegally into the U.S.

"Many come seeking employment but are not threatened," he said.

Gutierrez has worked in a burrito shop to help support his wife and children while his case goes through the system. He said he has put his life in Chihuahua behind him.

"I'd rather think about the future," he said.

Source: Yahoo news

NORWAY COMMITS NOK 20 MILLION (PHP 140 MILLION) TO TYPHOON VICTIMS

10.11.2013 // Norway commits to a contribution of NOK 20 million (PHP 140 million) in immediate humanitarian assistance to the Philippines. The NOK 20 million will be channeled through the UN, the Red Cross and other humanitarian organizations which have access to the affected areas.

- I want to express sympathy with the Filipino people who have been hit so hard by this disaster. We follow the humanitarian situation in the Philippines closely and will provide further assistance when we get a better overview of the needs, said Minister of Foreign Affairs, Mr. Børge Brende.

In addition, the Norwegian Directorate for CivilProtection (DSB) has accepted an invitation from the UN to contribute with expertise and resources.

From before, Norway is the third largest contributor to the United Nations Central Emergency Response Fund (UN CERF) which is also providing emergency assistance to the Philippines.

 

 From Adenike Salako Blog'World, Our prayer  and thought goes to people of Filipinos may the Lord of Comfort, Comfort you all (Amen).

see more photos below:

Photos source: yahoo news

 

A WORD AND PRAYER FOR YOU TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In this week, u will witness a special open heaven on your job, business, family, ministry and finance. Some people will come your way to specially bless you someone withholding your benefits shall not have peace until the benefits are delivered to you in Jesus name.

If you don't know how to sing then make a joyful noise, by all means say something to your God! A noise is an uncoordinated sound it requires no key and has no need of a sonorous voice! He said open your mouth and I will fill it!

That marriage will be revived. I sense God's anointing writing this! Your broken heart will be mended. You will find your God ordained spouse. The dry bones will become an army! Get ready for God. Your baby will come. The health challenge will be soon gone! God will make a way for you. As you start praising him, Help will arise for you! This day, this week, this month, God will visit you in Jesus name! I await your praise reports! The Almighty God will surely give u reasons to thank Him.

 You will not die before your time. The Almighty God will smile on u and u will rejoice all the days of your life in Jesus mighty name! Everything will work out for your favour in Jesus name. Those who ignore you now will soon book appointment with your secretary before meeting you. God will give u ideas that will single you out of a crowd and make you wholly acceptable. Plenty Money is coming your way very soon in Jesus Name. 

God will open one great door that will lead you to many other great doors of breakthroughs and unlimited success. The Lord God will send u a blank cheque that will write off all your debts and make u a lender to nations. You will soon be rewarded for your previous hard work in your field of endeavour. Those who pushed you out from a height will see you moving higher, better, faster and more glorious in Jesus Name.

"Behold, all they that were incensed against thee shall be ashamed and confounded: they shall be as nothing; and they that strive with thee shall perish. Thou shall seek them, and shall not find them, even them that contended with thee: they that war against thee shall be as nothing, and as a thing of nought. For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee." Isaiah 41:11-13.

 

SUNDAY-SERMON-WHERE-ARE-OUR-VALUES

Some people will tag me old fashioned while some will see it as yet another piece from Amara. But the truth is that we have forgotten our values. We have buried the treasured values handed down to us by our parents. We have now become more westernized than the western world. Women have suddenly become what they were not known for because of civilization.

 Women were taught to cover up their body and African women were known for decency in dressing. Women used to place so much value on their body that it was seen as a taboo and a thing of disgrace when a lady dressed scantily. What then is happening today?

How do people feel when they open pages of newspapers and see their semi-nude pictures? I don’t know how you feel when you go through Sun Newspaper every Saturday and Sunday only to see women with their breasts and tummy totally out. I wonder how any reasonable man will look at a lady dressed like a common whore and get attracted to her. But you know what; when they get attracted, it is not to you, but to your breasts and bum that are on display.

  It is so sad seeing that the older women who should be helping to put the younger ones on the right track are the ones guilty of this offence. I keep wondering why they won’t let nature take its course. Woman, your breast is for your man only and should not be for public consumption.

Girls, there is nothing fashionable in wearing things that don’t cover you up properly. When I see some women in public functions, even our fashion designers and actresses who call themselves married women, I always say it would have been better if they had left the house totally naked. I see nothing fashionable in a bum short because it passes just one message; she is cheap and available.

 I have a friend who I used to see as one of those unreasonable Lagos big guys. But I was shocked the day a girl walked into my office wearing a bum short. When she left, the guy looked at me, smiled and said;”I wonder what guys see in all these club girls, I can never be attracted to any girl who doesn’t cover up properly”. I didn’t really believe him until I met his girlfriend.

Girls now sell for as low as the price of a lace wig and black berry. My male friends and fans have always complained about this recent style of girls asking for money for lace wig or blackberry immediately you ask them out. For some it is recharge card. If you can’t recharge your phone, you shouldn’t have it. If you cannot afford a lace wig, you shouldn’t wear it. Be careful, the glue used for the lace wig could lead to other deadly diseases of the skin.

When did women stop thinking about their families? I used to know women to be so caring when it comes to their parents that they bother so much about everything going on with them. But it is really surprising seeing girls even deny their parents just because they want to belong to a particular class. You know your background and where you are coming from. Your parents are in the village with no place to lay their head and no food to eat. You are not even bothered about their health and heart cry.
You are now a Lagos big girl. You live in a good house and drive the best of cars because that is all to life. You move about town with the big boys and wear your Beyonce kind of lace wig.Girl; you have suddenly forgotten your root. Your parents are not allowed to visit your house because you are too ashamed to let your friends see them. Remember the old song, “if my mother is blind, she is still my mother”.

  I now see girls, even married women smoke and drink alcohol as if there is no tomorrow. To you, it is fashionable, but it is totally unafrican.How are you going to feel when eventually your own child starts living the same kind of life you are into?

African women were known for being tough when it comes to dating. But now, before the guy says hi, you have told him how much you love him more than your own life. A friend who lives in Canada recently told me about his experience when he came into Nigeria last year. He told me how every girl he met instantly told him how much she loved him. That is how far we have gone in dragging our name to the mud.

After jumping from one man to the other and living your high society life, you have suddenly realized you need a man.Isnt it surprising that after dating the high and mighty, women still go down to pick a struggling man who they can be able to ride and possibly transfer their ill-luck to. I pity some men when I see their wives and then look at them following behind like a driver.
Girls are now the ones proposing to men.Okay, you have used all your antics to get the guy, but what happens there after. You are so much into building a career that you have no time to learn how to cook. It is unfortunate that guys complain about the woman’s inability to cook, but I don’t always pity them because the signs were there even during courtship. As a woman, you should be able to feed whoever enters your house. You should be able to get into the kitchen and prepare something for your man. Enough of the constant dining out, cook for him.

Have you noticed this very painful one? An elderly woman will be sitting on a chair only for a young girl to appear and then ask her to get up for her. What has happened to our manners? There is nothing modern about this. The Nigerian culture is one with so much regard and respect for the aged.

TOP 11 RUDEST THINGS PEOPLE DO IN CHURCH

Lots of things annoy us today. But we should be most concerned about what God considers rudeIt doesn’t bother me anymore to hear a phone ringing during a church service. It’s part of life in the 21st century. But I’ll admit I was shocked last month when I heard a ringtone while I was preaching—and a woman seated in the third row pulled her phone out of her purse and began a lengthy conversation as if she were in the waiting room of a beauty parlor.
That incident prompted me to post a question on Face-book the next day. I asked my friends to share their own stories of rudeness in church. That triggered an avalanche of pent-up

Frustration about crinkly peppermint wrappers, loud music, smelly feet (yes, someone took off their shoes during the service), unruly children, coffee-sipping saints and parishioners who try to finish their pastors’ sentences during sermons.

When I tallied the responses, I came up with this list of the rudest things people do in church:

1. Talking during a service.

2. Texting or surfing the web during a service. (One person mentioned seeing people playing video games on their phones.)

3. Sleeping—or snoring!—during a sermon.

4. Clipping fingernails during church. (I was amazed at how many people listed this offense. One person said his church’s sound technician clipped his nails routinely during the sermon, and it was amplified over the loud speaker.)

 

5. Answering a ringing phone in church.

6. Constantly getting up and leaving the auditorium, presumably to use the restroom.

7. Walking out of a service early, especially during a prayer.

 

How Saying No to McDonald's Might Lead to Dad Losing Custody

Did somebody say McDonald? Yep, a 4-year-old New York City boy, but his dad David Schorr said nope. Now Schorr, embroiled in a child custody case, is suing a court-appointed psychiatrist for defamation for deeming him "wholly incapable of taking care of his son" after he refused to let his kid eat dinner at McDonald’s. 

"You’d think it was sexual molestation," Schorr, an attorney-turned-consultant, tells the New york post. "I am just floored by it."

The trouble began last week, the Post explained Thursday, when Schorr was scheduled to take his son to their usual neighborhood restaurant for their weekly Tuesday-night visit. But that night the child dug in his heels about wanting to go to McDonald's instead. Schorr, who felt the boy had been eating too much junk food lately, refused, saying he could eat anywhere else but the fast-food joint — or have no dinner at all. 
"The child, stubborn as a mule, chose the 'no dinner' option," Schorr says in the suit, according to the Post. "It was just a standoff. I’m kicking myself mightily. I wish I had taken him to McDonald's, but you get nervous about rewarding bad behavior. I was concerned. I think it was a 1950s equivalent of sending your child to bed without dinner. That's maybe the worst thing you can say about it."